Is it mean to tell someone they are terrible person if they are?

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Faxero said:
Snippets from 'Judge Not? | Catholic Answers Magazine.

It is not possible to follow Jesus’ instructions without being “judgmental” of another’s behavior. Contrary to what many would prefer to believe, the Bible exhorts us to rightly judge the behavior of others.

“For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. Drive out the wicked person from among you” (1 Cor. 5:12-13).

“Do you not know that the saints * will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, matters pertaining to this life!…Shun immorality” (1 Cor. 6:2-18).

“You shall do no injustice in judgment; you shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great, but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbor” (Lev. 19:15).*

Read more at catholic.com/magazine/articles/judge-not by Jim Blackburn.

Yeah, I read it. No need to quote from it for me.
I stand by what I wrote earlier.
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Faxero said:
Snippets from 'Judge Not? | Catholic Answers Magazine.

It is not possible to follow Jesus’ instructions without being “judgmental” of another’s behavior. Contrary to what many would prefer to believe, the Bible exhorts us to rightly judge the behavior of others.

“For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. Drive out the wicked person from among you” (1 Cor. 5:12-13).

“Do you not know that the saints * will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, matters pertaining to this life!…Shun immorality” (1 Cor. 6:2-18).

“You shall do no injustice in judgment; you shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great, but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbor” (Lev. 19:15).*

Read more at catholic.com/magazine/articles/judge-not by Jim Blackburn.

So…where’s the righteousness??? THAT is the piece that is missing.
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Irishmom2 said:
Yeah, I read it. No need to quote from it for me.
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Good.
pianistclare said:
So…where’s the righteousness??? THAT is the piece that is missing.
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I’m not sure if Cratus’s frantic attitude in this thread is indicative of her attitude in real life. For all we know, she could be maintaining her composure when around her friend, then, when she gets home, uses these forums as a ‘venting place’.
 
Faxero said:
Good.

I’m not sure if Cratus’s frantic attitude in this thread is indicative of her attitude in real life. For all we know, she could be maintaining her composure when around her friend, then, when she gets home, uses these forums as a ‘venting place’.
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Posting history. It’s a real thing. :rolleyes:
 
A very helpful book for me is called The Hidden Power of Kindness. It could help you with your question.

Just an idea. Take it or leave it.
 
Cratus from your posting history it seems that you also have some issues that you need to improve on. So maybe you need to work on your own issues before you demand that someone else fix theirs. I do mean this in the nicest way possible and you are in my prayers as is every one else who is in this forum.
 
St_Francis said:
Cratus,
Whenever you encounter someone who is aggravating you, you should just pray for them. don’t get mad at them, don’t vent to people about them, just say a Hail Mary for them and move on. If they have hurt you, offer that trial up, too.

By doing this, you will be doing the best thing you can for them, and by thus putting them in the hands of God, you will be much happier–a nice side-effect 🙂
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This is what I was going to suggest doing CRATUS, what St. Francis suggests doing.

I would simply pray for your friend.

I understand where you’re coming from in a way, because you want your friend to do better, so that she won’t continue to be alienated from others.

At the same time, if she’s still doing the same things, then I doubt that anything will change, unless she decides to do something to change her own behavior.
 
PelagiathePenit said:
someone sees what I’m trying to say. It is a matter of honoring the truth.
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It’s a shame you seem to think it comes at the price of respect, compassion and understanding.

Seriously CRATUS/Pelagia, let your ‘friend’ go. Claiming to be a friend to someone then constantly putting them down and treating them with disrespect and contempt is not “honouring the truth”. You think your approach will work as long as you keep going with it - it won’t. Your friend needs support to help her move forward, but all you seem to do is throw her mistakes back in her face.

You only reply to the posters who agree with you. As you are ignoring the ones which consider other possibilities, maybe it is you who is not “honouring the truth”? I don’t know 🤷

Lou
 
Try this instead: Saint Theresa of Calcutta’s tips to be a more humble person


  1. *]Speak as little as possible about yourself.
    *]Keep busy with your own affairs and not those of others.
    *]Avoid curiosity (she is referring to wanting to know things that should not concern you.)
    *]Do not interfere in the affairs of others.
    *] Accept small irritations with good humor.
    *] Do not dwell on the faults of others.
    *]Accept censures even if unmerited.
    *]Give in to the will of others.
    *]Accept insults and injuries.
    *]Accept contempt, being forgotten and disregarded.
    *]Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone.
    *]Do not seek to be admired and loved.
    *]Do not protect yourself behind your own dignity.
    *]Give in, in discussions, even when you are right.
    *]Choose always the more difficult task.
 
pianistclare said:
Try this instead: Saint Theresa of Calcutta’s tips to be a more humble person


  1. *]Speak as little as possible about yourself.
    *]Keep busy with your own affairs and not those of others.
    *]Avoid curiosity (she is referring to wanting to know things that should not concern you.)
    *]Do not interfere in the affairs of others.
    *] Accept small irritations with good humor.
    *] Do not dwell on the faults of others.
    *]Accept censures even if unmerited.
    *]Give in to the will of others.
    *]Accept insults and injuries.
    *]Accept contempt, being forgotten and disregarded.
    *]Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone.
    *]Do not seek to be admired and loved.
    *]Do not protect yourself behind your own dignity.
    *]Give in, in discussions, even when you are right.
    *]Choose always the more difficult task.
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  1. Humility to a fault? As far as I know, some of these tips (e.i 7, 9, 10, and 14) are ‘How to be the ultimate doormat’ advice. They may be promoting humility, but not justice.
 
I don’t know, people. As far as I’m concerned, some of these tips (I.e 7, 9, and 14) seem to be ‘advice on how to be the ultimate doormat’. 🤷 They might be promoting the virtue of humility, but probably not the virtue of justice.

I agree with the tips, but uh… I don’t think they are applicable to everyone’s circumstances.
 
From what I am able to think of, the only time where you might use such strong language directly to a person is if for some reason you are publicly condemning them, and your intended audience isn’t the actual person, but the other people listening to you. Like how Jesus denounced some of the extremely corrupt religious leaders in no uncertain terms.
 
Faxero said:
I don’t know, people. As far as I’m concerned, some of these tips (I.e 7, 9, and 14) seem to be ‘advice on how to be the ultimate doormat’. 🤷 They might be promoting the virtue of humility, but probably not the virtue of justice.

I agree with the tips, but uh… I don’t think they are applicable to everyone’s circumstances.
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The Lord never asks us to be a doormat, He simply asks us to be charitable and non-argumentative.
These are virtues.
When one feels like a doormat, they have already turned over their power to the other person. Mother Theresa certainly was no one’s “doormat”. :rolleyes: :mad:
 
CRATUS said:
  • take advantage of people’s kindness and patience
    -free-loader
    -rude
    -disobedient to their parents
    -jealous & envious
    -backbiting
    -racial prejudices
    -judgmental and critical
    -impatience
    -violent, explosive anger
    -moody
    -immature
    -insecure
    -impulsive
    -irrational
    -sexually corrupt
    -vain
    -very sensitive/touchy yet very callous at times
    -inconsistencies
    -grudgeful and unforgiving
    -self-pitying
    The only good thing I see in this person is that she regularly attends mass, seeks professional counseling and seems to accept criticism with gracefully even though I never see her change. She IS NOT SELF-RIGHTEOUS AT ALL. She seems VERY WELL-AWARE OF HER SHORTCOMINGS.
    Some people say these criticisms are too much for someone to handle even if it is true.
    Some people say I should ease off with my criticisms because she hears criticisms quite often. Why can’t she just change her behavior so NO ONE WOULD SAY ANYTHING? SIMPLE!!!
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Judge much?
 
CRATUS, didn’t you lament in a recent post a friend of yours doing the same thing to you? You seemed to think it was mean when they did it.
 
Faxero said:
I don’t know, people. As far as I’m concerned, some of these tips (I.e 7, 9, and 14) seem to be ‘advice on how to be the ultimate doormat’. 🤷 They might be promoting the virtue of humility, but probably not the virtue of justice.

I agree with the tips, but uh… I don’t think they are applicable to everyone’s circumstances.
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If one reaches that level of spirituality where one could deal with being not to win or always being right, then one is very close to Christ. So those tips by St Teresa of Calcutta are good things. Not everybody could do that, that’s why Mother Teresa is a saint, but we are called to try to do them as followers of Christ, which is not an easy thing.

Jesus did not complain about justice at Calvary but instead asked the Father to forgive his detractors. He is our Lord and we are to emulate him, to carry the cross that he carried, which in real life can come in many forms.
 
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