Is it Mortal sin or is it my Scrupulosity?

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strivingforsainthood

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Greetings everyone.

So, I have had a past with really serious mortal sins. About two years ago, I made the conscious decision to be forgiven by Our Lord and allow myself to be perfected and sanctified. I now suffer the other end of the spectrum, Scrupulosity.

I feel deep regret and guilt for sins that probably aren’t even sins or at the most venial. I am just scared that I am receiving Jesus within the Eucharist still in a state of mortal sin, because Mass often times feels painful and panicky. I am scared I am in a state of mortal sin and not realizing it.

I was just wondering if you can forget about Mortal sins that have never been forgiven. Or is the mortal sin at the forefront of a person’s mind?

I try to reassure myself that I am not. That I am falling more in love with The Lord and that I have a fiery passion to learn more about Him and His Church. That a person in mortal sin mostly likely would not act this way. That they would most likely fall away if they stayed in that state. However, I still feel panicked and worried. Like I haven’t completely emptied myself of all my mortal sins. However, nothing mortal comes to mind when I try to examine. I just start to over analyze moments of temptation. Possibly convincing myself that I sinned mortally.

I try to rely on my conscience, however, I feel accused and belittled by it.

Would Scrupulosity affect my conscience or is the Holy Spirit trying to tell me I am still in a state of mortal sin?

I really just want peace. Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you.
 
“Really serious mortal sins”? Murder? Rape? Robbery? Desicration of the Eucharist? No?

Honestly, if you have to ask, it is most likely anxiety/OCD/scruples.

Talk to Father. Talk to doctor.
 
strivingforsainthood said:
However, nothing mortal comes to mind when I try to examine.
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There is your answer.
strivingforsainthood said:
Would Scrupulosity affect my conscience
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A definite yes.

If they are past mortal sins that you are remembering and you know you have not confessed it, then mention it in your next confession.

I am assuming that two years ago you returned to the Sacraments and confessed all mortal sins up until that time? Yes? Then they’ve been forgiven. If you remember any from before then, and know you have not confessed it, then mention it the next time you go to confession. It has been forgiven with all the others, it is just the obligation to confess it that remains.

If they are mortal sins you’ve committed at any time since then, which you have genuinely forgotten until now, and know you have not confessed it/them, then again, do so at your next confession for the same reasons above.

If it is a mortal sin you’ve committed since your last confession, then go to confession and confess it before receiving Holy Communion.

It is not uncommon for someone who was at one end of the spectrum, who reconciles with Christ and is striving mightily to be faithful and avoid sins, that once they’ve returned to the Church for their conscience to swing to the opposite extreme. Try and find the middle ground.

Stick to ONE confessor for ALL your confessions, and be guided by him. Go to him for all your questions. This is standard advice given to all scrupulous souls for decades (even written in books for the scrupulous prior to Vatican II).

I wish you Christs’ Peace to fill you and strengthen you.
 
In addition to what others have said, which I’m going to apply to my own journey as well, I wonder if the Spirit is calling you to a deeper relationship on a friendlier and more intimate level? The cleaner the lens of our soul gets, the more starkly any speck of dirt appears to our interior vision. Our Lord struggles to get people to acknowledge He even exists, much less desire not to offend Him, or even fall in love with Him. It just sounds to me like you’ve done some serious digging, and might just ask, “Ok, God, is there a next step here?” Nothing specific. Just my passing impression from the way things appear from my end.

Peace! 🙂
 
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99% of the time it’s your scruples, when people posit such questions.

100% of the time those questions should be discussed with your confessor, and not strangers from the Internet.

Speak to your confessor, and obey his instructions on dealing with your scrupulosity,
Deacon Christopher
 
OCD is a disorder in biochemical processing in your brain and possibly other parts of the body. This is easily demonstrated by the effectiveness of various drugs. Adjust the chemicals and OCD goes away (typically). Scrupulosity is a manifestation of OCD found in religious people. If people with OCD are religious and stop being so, sometimes because of the relief this brings to their symptoms, without treatment they will develop OCD symptoms of a non-religious nature. I have nothing against people consulting a priest if they have these symptoms.
 
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If I were in your position I cant imagine how posting asking the opinions of strangers would ever help my soul. I think mortal sin for scrupulocity could be argued if they dont seek out professional help.
 
strivingforsainthood said:
Would Scrupulosity affect my conscience or is the Holy Spirit trying to tell me I am still in a state of mortal sin?

I really just want peace. Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you.
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I thank God for the Saints every day. Especially the Blessed Virgin Mary. Regardless what state my soul is in, I’m still a sinful man. I am not the blameless soul God pours His favor upon. I am not the righteous man who is blessed while he sleeps. I am not that man endowed with strength needed to stand fast, even to endure joyfully whatever may come.

But they are. St Therese, Padre Pio, St Joseph, St Peter… & especially the Blessed Virgin Mary.

We are always in communion with them & God is always with them. So take care, do not be afraid. Pray to your Heavenly Father & your brothers & sisters in Christ will help you get to heaven.

Pray for us O holy Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
 
Posting here is only going to make your scruples worse. Speak to your priest and a doctor. There is help out there for you, but it cannot be found on CAF.
 
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