I didn’t read this as she thought her daughter’s virginity/purity was more important than her son’s.
My mother was always honest which prevented the kind of acting out you describe. If you tell your children the truth about your sexual past and how it hurt you and why chastity is good, they will want to avoid the mistakes you made. My mother also did drugs, and none of her kids got into drugs because we knew it was a mistake and, let’s face it, nothing makes something less cool then knowing your parents did it.
How would you know if having that kind of conversation with a parent is a good thing? By your own admission, your parents didn’t talk to you about it.
It’s a little strange that you think telling them you did drugs is okay, but that the mere mention of anything sexual creates a bad relationship. If parents don’t educate their kids about sex, someone else does-- usually peers-- and the end result isn’t pretty.I totally commend you for being proactive.
There are a lot of issues a person should spend at least a little time reflecting upon how they might handle with their kids before ever having kids. Of course, when you actually have kids, there will also be those things that you never thought of! :bigyikes: That’s where prayer comes in! 
because to me this sounds like a common and frequent experience of life for children and parents. I think it would do your son’s a lot of bad to find out about it. First, it will reinforce the stereotype it is OK for men, not women since only dad did it. Second, when faced with temptation your son’s will expect dad to understand they caved since after all, dad caved. And lastly, I remember as a teenager when my parents would tell me what they learnt from THEIR mistakes, all I wanted was the freedom to learn from mine. ie some independence to make my own choices so I could know who I am.
A couple of valid points. Most every person does want to learn by experience at some point. Not just about sex, about lots of things.
Sorry I wasn’t clear. I am not advocating telling them about drug use but not sex. I was illustrating that most people misunderstand what hypocritical means.How would you know if having that kind of conversation with a parent is a good thing? By your own admission, your parents didn’t talk to you about it.
Dont you think that kind of information is odd to share with a teenager?This is almost perfect - you might want to add ‘Yes, and it was very wrong and a big mistake and hurt me and the person I did it with, and that’s exactly why I’m telling you not to do it’.
I have relatives who volunteer this sort of information to my kids. None of what they tell them is true, but for a couple years we regularly had to deal with questions from our kids (5, 7 & 18 at the time) about things we did or were supposedly still doing. The younger ones have mostly forgotten it, but our son still throws some of this garbage up at us when he’s talking to us or arguing about related topics.
My question is if the parents made mistake by living together before marriage. If the child questions about it, should the parents confess it?
My stepdaughter was 5 when her mother and I were married. Kinda gave things away there. She is 15 now, and we have taught her that she is supposed to learn from our mistakes, not repeat them.
That would never have worked on me. My attitude would have been, “You had your fun and now have the luxury of telling me it was bad and wrong and not to do it, now that it’s beside the point for you.” I would not have seen the person telling me this as sincere unless she had had a terrible venereal disease, an abortion, or something big like that.
Then what is your suggestion for the most effective way that the parrent should tell their kids?
I don’t know. I don’t have children old enough for it to be an issue. I do know from experience that while an adolescent may be curious about what a parent has done sexually, it is icky being told and I don’t think there is any positive benefit to it. Besides, we learn what is acceptable behavior from our parents (we should, anyway) and it is not acceptable to ask people about their sexual behavior unless we are or are going to be married to them. That is nobody’s business and knowing those things about anyone tends to affect our opinion of him negatively.
I agree with you. The problem is when we teach the kids about chastity, they definitely want to know if we did set an example ourselves for them to follow. And as some other posters indicated, if we refuse to tell them, they may attempt to seek more information from others relatives.
In this example, I don’t completely agree that I would have no authority at all to tell my children to stay chaste.