Is it possible to re-sensitize ourselves

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Crepusculum

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Evening all,
I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am now compared to who I used to be. One thing I’ve noticed is that things don’t seem to affect me as much as they used to. Not just the little things like being as affected by sad films and horror films, but also in other areas. Several years before my conversion, I was in a pretty horrendous situation with family. Not to go into the details, but basically somebody had put my baby nephew’s life in jeopardy. For several months I had to be the strong one for a lot of relatives who were losing their heads (in many different ways). I dealt with this situation by shutting down emotionally and getting on with it, but the result of this was that I stopped enjoying things I previously enjoyed and went for a period of a year without dreaming. It feels like a long time ago, but I can’t help feeling that I am still a little detached. I pray on it, but wonder if there’s anything else I can do - as St. Augustine so eloquently put it: “Pray as if everything depended on God, work as if everything depended on you”. Has anyone had any experience dealing with something like this? Is it ever possible to regain one’s innocence?
 
It does take time…You were strong for others, but it doesn’t mean you were less traumatised.
In a less dramatic sense than you, I suppose, I was strong as the eldest at home when my mother died at age 43 leaving nine children ranging from 18 to 4 years old. I cried for my Dad and my younger siblings but was personally detached from my loss for several years, until one day years later it hit me and I cried for days. I recall within the first year after Mum’s sudden death, I watched as a truck ploughed into the side of the bus in which I was travelling. Broken glass fell into my lap, but through and after the whole process I felt nothing whatsoever, no fear, no anxiety, and no later reaction. For some years I was troubled by my detachment, although it was more from joy than from sorrow that I remained detached. I felt less of a person for it.

I guess you kind of bury what you really feel because you’re busy looking after others. You don’t have the luxury, because some of the people around you can’t summon that strength.

I wonder if you need some kind of safe environment or person in which to really take out the situation you went through…or simply walk through it honestly with the Lord. It may still be in a tight bundle inside you where you buried it.

It is admirable in you that you found that kind of strength, and it’s both a burden and a gift that you did. That kind of detachment will probably always be part of you but perhps not to the same degree as time passes and if you properly nurture yourself, remembering that Jesus tells us to love others as we love ourselves.

You sound like an amazing person, and I hope, and pray, that God will help and lead you to flourish within your whole personality and life. Bless you, Trishie
 
Crepusculum,
its sounds like you could be suffering from a bout of depression.

Get yourself checked out physically, and then get yourself on to a health regiment. You’ve been through a period of stress, holding up for others. Its now time to take care of yourself. Exercise is a great weapon against the blues.

Depression can also be caused from poor diet, so start eating healthy, and most of all, stay away from alcohol. Its an energy killer, and it can put you into depression.

In all things, pray.

God Bless
Jim
 
Hi “Crep” 👋 Trishie and Jim gave you some wonderful, good advice. I’m sorry that you’ve been through such hard times. I know what it’s like to have to be the “strong one”… alone. God bless you.

I would also like to recommend/reiterate the importance of Eucharistic Adoration, in dealing with the difficulties of life. It is truly amazing, the graces we receive when we are in the Presence of the Divine Physician… Jesus. He wants to heal us all. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
Crepusculum, I sympathize with you. I’ve been trying to be strong for my family too, and I noticed that I’ve been numbing out my feelings as well. I’m trying to get myself back on track now. I pray that you feel better soon.
 
I’m not giving a diagnosis but observing that is very typical posttraumatic reaction. I have found it only starts healing when I get rest and nurturance.
 
i believe it is difficult and but definitely believe it can be done. others have given good advice here already. exercise, take care of yourself, get the depression taken care of and pray through it all. i ask God to comfort you and be with you.
 
I think what can happen in situations such as OP describes, is that when faced with a crisis we might start out “being strong for the others who need us” but a point comes when we realize our own strength is insufficient, we turn to God, and find that afterall we can bear a far heavier burden, and carrier a heavier load farther with him than on our own. This leads us to a personal crisis of faith–because suddenly the challenge or crisis seems to grow greater–through which personally we progress to total trust in Divine Providence and reliance on God in all things. In admitting our total weakness and inadequacy, we find our power and strength in him.
 
Thank you all so much for your advise, it has been a great help. I will hold all of you in my prayers.
 
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