C
Crepusculum
Guest
Evening all,
I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am now compared to who I used to be. One thing I’ve noticed is that things don’t seem to affect me as much as they used to. Not just the little things like being as affected by sad films and horror films, but also in other areas. Several years before my conversion, I was in a pretty horrendous situation with family. Not to go into the details, but basically somebody had put my baby nephew’s life in jeopardy. For several months I had to be the strong one for a lot of relatives who were losing their heads (in many different ways). I dealt with this situation by shutting down emotionally and getting on with it, but the result of this was that I stopped enjoying things I previously enjoyed and went for a period of a year without dreaming. It feels like a long time ago, but I can’t help feeling that I am still a little detached. I pray on it, but wonder if there’s anything else I can do - as St. Augustine so eloquently put it: “Pray as if everything depended on God, work as if everything depended on you”. Has anyone had any experience dealing with something like this? Is it ever possible to regain one’s innocence?
I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am now compared to who I used to be. One thing I’ve noticed is that things don’t seem to affect me as much as they used to. Not just the little things like being as affected by sad films and horror films, but also in other areas. Several years before my conversion, I was in a pretty horrendous situation with family. Not to go into the details, but basically somebody had put my baby nephew’s life in jeopardy. For several months I had to be the strong one for a lot of relatives who were losing their heads (in many different ways). I dealt with this situation by shutting down emotionally and getting on with it, but the result of this was that I stopped enjoying things I previously enjoyed and went for a period of a year without dreaming. It feels like a long time ago, but I can’t help feeling that I am still a little detached. I pray on it, but wonder if there’s anything else I can do - as St. Augustine so eloquently put it: “Pray as if everything depended on God, work as if everything depended on you”. Has anyone had any experience dealing with something like this? Is it ever possible to regain one’s innocence?