Is it selfish, and therefore sinful, to remain single if one remains single for selfish reasons

[Irishmom2]

Irishmom2:

My pet peeve, people that tell single men to become priests. Uh, no. The Priesthood is a calling. A first choice, not a fallback plan. Watch, someone will come along on this thread and suggest it.

I think in a society filled with people who would preserve personal freedom at all costs will have few priests. All young catholic men should try to be open to the idea of priesthood if you ask me. It’s no harm to suggest that a single man could go on a vocations weekend or look into the religious life.

Personal freedom at all costs produces few priests? So, as long as people marry, they are safe, everyone else is supposed to carry the religious vocation? That is why I said it is not a fallback option, it is a choice whether it is a clear calling, or one that takes place over many years.

The harm is when people state that they want to be single and other people suggest the priesthood as if they know whether the person has ever considered it or not. Or as if it is an option that they, as a Catholic could not, or had not thought of on their own.

I thought being single was supposed to be a vocation option?

 

[Cruciferi]

I don’t believe anyone was suggesting that. You should always be a well-informed Catholic in good standing. Also, if a person is getting their career started they might not have as much time to volunteer at their Parish.

 

[AdamP88]

I thought being single was supposed to be a vocation option?

It’s not really a vocation. Vocation as the Church understands it is something that involves a committment.
Certainly it’s not sinful to remain single but it’s possible a motivation for doing so could be selfish, or could cut you off from certain possibilities.

And yes, in a soceity where people are taught to put personal freedom ahead of all else, that will result in fewer priests, and fewer marriages.

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

Exactly. It’s hardly worth the effort

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

I do know a lot of priests who figured out that it was their calling after a bad breakup

 

[Cruciferi]

Economics plays a large role in my decision to stay single. My life is like a pyramid. I have to get a good foundation and continue building towards the apex. Like a Bowerbird, I must scrutinize and prepare a place. I must attain financial and job security!

Cruciferi 4:2

“For what does it profit a person to gain a spouse yet lose their house”

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

See when I tell people that since I share the same sentiment I get told that in the past men and women would marry before they built a future together since they wanted to share the journey together.

But I think those people must’ve lived in an episode of leave it to beaver.

 

[Cruciferi]

Well, back in the “olden” days the bride had a dowry. Then decades ago, there used to be reliable manufacturing work in the country. Since the 1960’s we’ve been getting a lot of divorces… I say, “No plan at all is a plan to fail!”

 

[Xantippe]

See when I tell people that since I share the same sentiment I get told that in the past men and women would marry before they built a future together since they wanted to share the journey together.

But I think those people must’ve lived in an episode of leave it to beaver.

The past they’re talking about was from roughly 1946-1970 and involved a lot of contraception and divorce.

If you look any further deeper into the past, you’ll see couples waiting and saving to get married (especially in the working class), and girls collecting hope chests.

 

[tweedlealice]

1950’s and 60’s HopeChests and purity. Purity is a constant ant request of God. Celibacy in Priesthood and Single life. Married life w romance and FIDELITY. Which is intermittent celibacy. Spouse off to war, BUS and TRUCK drivers, etc. Purity. Gifts of Spirit includes Self Control. Lust is a free for all. Love is restrained w Self Control.
Vocations are three: Single, Religious, Matrimony.
A single state is a call from God, not a choice. Pray about that. I feel I was suppose to be a Nun. I failed. I got married. Is it a sin, when awareness comes? iIt can be forgiven.
Avoiding life by staying single isn’t a sin but lonely. I agree= Now, men are not as mature and Holy. Women are used as sex toys and discarded. That’s why when trying to find love, you stay celibate. Sifting through the chaff and wheat. We are all treasures. God has a plan for us: Jeremiah 29/11.
Each Creation has all their organs entirely. One heart, one set of lungs, etc. BUT-reproductive system is only half It takes 2 halves to make a whole and a baby.
Rejoice, for the Lord loves us. In Jesus name.
In Christ’s love
Tweedlealice

 

[cmscms]

Sarcelle:

The priesthood is not an automatic fall back position if one were not able to get married.

True but if you’re a single Catholic man then I don’t see the harm in suggesting that you might look into the possibility.

I would have no hesitation in making that suggestion. And it doesn’t mean that I think you should either be married or a priest.

A pet peeve of mine is when married people say ‘If I was single’. I relize AmadP88 you have not been married that long, but … married people don’t know what it is to have been single for years and when I say ‘single’ I mean not married and not in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship either. It is really is to sit back and say ‘if I was single’ because once married you don’t have to walk in those shoes anymore.

The harm is suggesting a man becomes a priest is the insinuation, he can’t think for himself

 

[Xantippe]

The harm is suggesting a man becomes a priest is the insinuation, he can’t think for himself

I actually disagree with that.

It may be more that the speaker thinks that the guy is so modest, humble and virtuous that he doesn’t realize what a good priest he would make and would never think to put himself forward.

So, from somebody who knows you well and has good judgment, it’s a huge compliment. But not so much from somebody who doesn’t know you anything about you except that you’re single.

 

[Entwhistler]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. As long as that is your vocation. God has a vocation for everyone. If God calls me to singlehood (is that a word?) then I will try to be the best person I can while sitting up all night watching inane youtube videos and eating Cheetos because I can .

If God calls me to get married, I will try to love my wife with my whole heart. And raise some God-fearing kiddos. Although raising kids scares the living daylights out of me. But whatever God wants…

If God calls me to be a priest I’ll try my best to guide folks to God and to administer Christ’s sacraments to the faithful as best as I know how. Plus I get to learn Latin. And wear a cassock…excuse me, a ninja outfit.

Basically, whatever God wants you to do, you should do it. That might very well remaining single for the rest of your life. If so, don’t let anyone stop you.

 

[SacredHeartBassist]

I actually don’t think singleness is a vocation

 

[Entwhistler]

Well, a vocation is God’s plan for you from what I understand. God might have a plan for someone to become a priest. Another, get married. Another neither. Technically, being a policeman could be part of God’s vocation for you.

Some think that vocation has to do with a sacrament. But that I don’t think that is the case.

 

[Cruciferi]

Go be a priest

 

[Entwhistler]

Who knows…

 

[Cruciferi]

You have until tomorrow

 

[Entwhistler]

Wow, pressure…

I’ve had nightmares of becoming Pope overnight.

 

[AdamP88]

See when I tell people that since I share the same sentiment I get told that in the past men and women would marry before they built a future together since they wanted to share the journey together.

But I think those people must’ve lived in an episode of leave it to beaver.

This is what my wife and I did. It’s the most realistic thing to do in this day and age. Nobody has a house by the time they’re 30 these days.