Is it sinful to marry a non Catholic Christian?

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Don_Juan

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For many years I did not have a relationship but I went out on countless dates looking for the right person on Catholic women. Then on a unexpected turn of events in my life, our paths crossed each other and there was instant chemistry.

I was raised Catholic and she was raised Christian. She grew up going to Sunday school and nowadays she is very active in her Church, so we cannot ask each other to change our faiths.

We both believe strongly in God and besides our beliefs, we have so many things and values in common. I found things in her that I could never found in a Catholic and I will propose her soon.
 
It’s REALLY unwise,particularly when both are strongly practicing their own faith.

How you raise children and live family life and teaching children the Catholic faith will be very difficult. The Catholic must promise to raise the children Catholic,
 
It is not sinful for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic. That said, there are a few things the Church will ask of you if you do marry a non-Catholic:
  1. You must have your marriage prep in the Catholic Church.
  2. You must have your wedding in the Catholic Church (instead of the Christian church your wife-to-be attends). Or you can get some sort of dispensation to have your wedding outside of the Catholic Church, but I don’t know too much about that. Hopefully another poster will add more.
  3. The non-Catholic spouse-to-be must agree and promise to raise the children in the Catholic Church.
Those are the facts. Now, just my opinion…you really need to think about this and discuss religious issues with the person you plan on marrying. There are plenty of marital difficulties that can arise from marrying someone of a different faith, especially when it comes to raising children. While it’s not sinful to marry someone of a different religion, it’s something to be entered into with great consideration. I’m not saying it can’t work, but it will present challenges. Something to pray about…
 
kptrs said:
It is not sinful for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic. That said, there are a few things the Church will ask of you if you do marry a non-Catholic:
  1. You must have your marriage prep in the Catholic Church.
  2. You must have your wedding in the Catholic Church (instead of the Christian church your wife-to-be attends). Or you can get some sort of dispensation to have your wedding outside of the Catholic Church, but I don’t know too much about that. Hopefully another poster will add more.
  3. The non-Catholic spouse-to-be must agree and promise to raise the children in the Catholic Church.
Those are the facts. Now, just my opinion…you really need to think about this and discuss religious issues with the person you plan on marrying. There are plenty of marital difficulties that can arise from marrying someone of a different faith, especially when it comes to raising children. While it’s not sinful to marry someone of a different religion, it’s something to be entered into with great consideration. I’m not saying it can’t work, but it will present challenges. Something to pray about…
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That third point isn’t true - not under the current code of canon law. In times past the Church did require the non-Catholic party to make such a promise. The current code simply requires that the non-Catholic party be made aware of the Catholic party’s promise. An important and nuanced distinction. The Church binds the Catholic party; the Church does not bind the non-Catholic party.
 
Not sinful, but probably not prudent either. Catholics have certain marital expectations that Protestants don’t always believe in. Its possible to make such relationships work, but there are major considerations to take prior to agreeing to marriage. Even if she doesn’t wish to convert, it might be a good idea for both of you to attend RCIA together so she knows what she’s getting into. You need to plan how you intend to raise your children spiritually speaking. Catholics are required to raise their children in the faith and entering into a marriage without that intention could be sinful
 
kptrs said:
It is not sinful for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic. That said, there are a few things the Church will ask of you if you do marry a non-Catholic:
  1. You must have your marriage prep in the Catholic Church.
  2. You must have your wedding in the Catholic Church (instead of the Christian church your wife-to-be attends). Or you can get some sort of dispensation to have your wedding outside of the Catholic Church, but I don’t know too much about that. Hopefully another poster will add more.
  3. The non-Catholic spouse-to-be must agree and promise to raise the children in the Catholic Church.
Those are the facts. Now, just my opinion…you really need to think about this and discuss religious issues with the person you plan on marrying. There are plenty of marital difficulties that can arise from marrying someone of a different faith, especially when it comes to raising children. While it’s not sinful to marry someone of a different religion, it’s something to be entered into with great consideration. I’m not saying it can’t work, but it will present challenges. Something to pray about…
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My son and his wife who is non-Catholic did part 1 and his wife agreed to part 3 unfortunately the church pastor did not agree on part 2 so now the whole family are Presbyterians. My daughter in law only wanted the wedding to be at a lodge over looking a lake in the Adirondacks where she grew up. I talked to my own pastor about this where we live, and he said joking “Don’t you know we try everything to chase Catholics away from the church”.
 
twf said:
That third point isn’t true - not under the current code of canon law. In times past the Church did require the non-Catholic party to make such a promise. The current code simply requires that the non-Catholic party be made aware of the Catholic party’s promise. An important and nuanced distinction. The Church binds the Catholic party; the Church does not bind the non-Catholic party.
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Ah, thank you for correcting that. My apologies.
 
kptrs said:
  1. You must have your wedding in the Catholic Church (instead of the Christian church your wife-to-be attends). Or you can get some sort of dispensation to have your wedding outside of the Catholic Church, but I don’t know too much about that. Hopefully another poster will add more.
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Actually, a dispensation is needed just to marry a non-Catholic Christian. (Most folks probably don’t know that, even if they received one.) As for marrying in the other church, that’s an easy dispensation to receive often, too. It’s the outdoor and destination weddings that are a harder sell to most bishops for a dispensation.

That said, I whole-heartedly agree with 1ke’s post above.
 
PassingSoul said:
My son and his wife who is non-Catholic did part 1 and his wife agreed to part 3 unfortunately the church pastor did not agree on part 2 so now the whole family are Presbyterians. My daughter in law only wanted the wedding to be at a lodge over looking a lake in the Adirondacks where she grew up. I talked to my own pastor about this where we live, and he said joking “Don’t you know we try everything to chase Catholics away from the church”.
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That reminds me of a quote a friend just gave me from St.Therese. “If this is how we treat our friends, no wonder why we have so many enemies.” 🙂
 
Yeah I never did very well with the Catholic women I dated either. I have since married a beautiful and devout Lutheran woman (Catholic Lite;)) and we celebrated our eighth year of wedded bliss back in May, although we have been together for twelve years.

I attend Mass during the Saturday vigil, and she attends on Sundays at her Lutheran Church; in fact, she’s attending Lutheran service right now That said, EVERY COUPLE is different! I cannot say that your marriage will be similar to my marriage; yours may be better or yours may not work at all…I don’t know.

All I can tell you is, I am respectful of my wife’s religious beliefs and she is respectful of mine. Truthfully, the only thing we ever truly argue about is politics, because THAT is the one area where we truly do have passionate disagreements.
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Ask God what HE thinks!
 
Cor_ad_Cor said:
Actually, a dispensation is needed just to marry a non-Catholic Christian. (Most folks probably don’t know that, even if they received one.) As for marrying in the other church, that’s an easy dispensation to receive often, too. It’s the outdoor and destination weddings that are a harder sell to most bishops for a dispensation.

That said, I whole-heartedly agree with 1ke’s post above.
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Not quite. Permission, from the Bishop, is required to marry a baptized non-Catholic Christian. In most dioceses, at least in North America, this permission is routinely granted. It is not actually a dispensation from the law. There is a distinction. That being said, a dispensation from the law is required for a Catholic to marry a non-baptized person (a non-Christian).
 
twf said:
Not quite. Permission, from the Bishop, is required to marry a baptized non-Catholic Christian. In most dioceses, at least in North America, this permission is routinely granted. It is not actually a dispensation from the law. There is a distinction. That being said, a dispensation from the law is required for a Catholic to marry a non-baptized person (a non-Christian).
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Ah, yes, you’re right. Now that you said that, I recall that is the case. Thanks for clarifying.
 
Thank you for coming here and asking this question. I do think though now you are at the point that you want to get married so with your heart involved, I don’t know how open you are to moving on without her. These questions are wisely asked at the beginning of the dating.

She is a Christian woman who is active in her faith. This is a beautiful thing. It’s easy to see how much you have in common with a woman of faith, but let’s just go over what she does not follow in the Catholic faith, and know that she will go to her pastor for spiritual advice, and he too is not Catholic and will work for his little lamb not to be taken in by Catholic teaching. Many pastors are hostile to the Catholic faith.

First of all, we have the Eucharist, the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord present as food for us. Scripture says He who does not eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink His blood, he will not have life within him. At Passover they ate the spotless lamb that was slain. Then John the Baptist comes on the scene, pointing at Christ saying There goes the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world! This is the core of our faith. If you marry this lady, she will not believe this or support you teaching this to your children.

Mary is the mother of God and a powerful intercessor. We have the Rosary which is our weapon in this world. The Rosary is scriptural and is a meditation on the life of our Lord. Your girlfriend will not believe this nor look to Our Lady during your married life. She will not teach the Rosary mysteries to your children.

Jesus gave the Church a Prime Minister in Peter and the Church continues on being the guardian and teacher of the faith in this world. Protestant denominations do not believe this, and yet they will expect their flock to believe and put into practice what they teach. Christ gave the keys of the kingdom, to loose and to bind, to Peter for the governance of the Church and this is a great gift to the faithful. Your girlfriend will not believe this nor support this.

Jesus gave us a powerful gift of confession to a priest. When we sin after our baptism, we have a way of breaking the power of sin in our lives and being redeemed by Christ through the ministry of the priesthood. What a powerful and wonderful gift this is to the faithful! Yet your girlfriend will not believe in telling your sins to a man, although Christ in His mercy has set it up this way. She will not support this nor teach your children what a blessing and conduit of mercy this is.

Catholic parents bring their babies to be baptized. There are Protestant churches that will not allow babies to be baptized. How would you feel if your wife would stand firm and insist that she will not allow this, and have the support of her pastor to back her up?

The items above make up the foundation of our faith and it is how Christ set up the Church. You could very well marry a lady, lovely as she is, that will stand in opposition to these Catholic teachings and keep your children from them. You both can respect each other but then the children come along, there can be battles. Is that how you want to go forward into married life? How will you answer for this decision at the end of your life to Christ who gave his life for his bride the Church? It’s a very sobering thought.
 
Don_Juan said:
For many years I did not have a relationship but I went out on countless dates looking for the right person on Catholic women. Then on a unexpected turn of events in my life, our paths crossed each other and there was instant chemistry.

I was raised Catholic and she was raised Christian. She grew up going to Sunday school and nowadays she is very active in her Church, so we cannot ask each other to change our faiths.

We both believe strongly in God and besides our beliefs, we have so many things and values in common. I found things in her that I could never found in a Catholic and I will propose her soon.
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NO. This isn’t even close to a sin. Yes, there are things you will need to discuss but it happens all the time with great success! congratulations!🙂
 
I’ve been to three interfaith weddings and each had priests either celebrating or joining with the other “faith leader.”

I think you should marry the person most likely to help lead the two of you to a happy, successful, loving, committed marriage.

That being said, none of the several Catholics I know in interfaith marriages remained practicing Catholics. That being said, not all of the Catholics I know in Catholic marriages remained practicing Catholics, either.
 
Don_Juan said:
For many years I did not have a relationship but I went out on countless dates looking for the right person on Catholic women. Then on a unexpected turn of events in my life, our paths crossed each other and there was instant chemistry.

I was raised Catholic and she was raised Christian. She grew up going to Sunday school and nowadays she is very active in her Church, so we cannot ask each other to change our faiths.

We both believe strongly in God and besides our beliefs, we have so many things and values in common. I found things in her that I could never found in a Catholic and I will propose her soon.
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You had better have some serious discussions before proposing.

I am married to a baptized non-Catholic, but we only go to the Catholic church.

Since you are each both seriously committed to your own denominations, though, you need to ask yourselves how you are going to raise your children in the faith without exposing them to the error of relativism and without either wearing them out with simultaneous devout observance at two different churches or living as half-members of two different congregations. Of course it matters what your children believe is true and what they reject as untrue or as relatively unimportant.

Well…what are you going to teach them, when you do not agree on these things yourselves?

What are you going to do if one or both of you goes down this path and realizes that you have changed your mind? It is fine to make a compromise, but you’d better have a Plan B that recognizes these are emotional decisions, not just rational considerations made on a theoretical plane.

It is not to say you cannot marry her, but count the cost, first. You are asking yourself, her and your children to do something very difficult, something that puts your practice of your faith at risk. Why are you doing that? You need to be clear on that.

If you decide not to propose, you need to ask yourself how you or she are going to find suitable spouses, if the two of you are busy dating each other?

These are difficult questions. I can sympathize with you. I know many other people in mixed marriages, though. It isn’t a piece of cake. Look before you leap.
 
I can only share my personal experience. I am a cradle Catholic and DH was baptized Lutheran, raised Presbyterian, and his mother began attending an E-free Church shortly before he left home. DH and I have been married for almost 15 years. When we married (not in the Church, not due to lack of desire to be married in the Church) we were regularly attending Mass together and DH was exploring the idea of RCIA. We married and schedules made RCIA for him impossible. We also fell away from regular Mass partly due to my feelings about being rejected for the sacrament of marriage. Many times we discussed convalidation but never really made the time for it. DD was baptized Catholic with no opposition from DH.

We had had several discussions over the years about Church attendance and I continued to sporadically take DD to Mass. We discussed finding a church we could all enjoy together, but nothing ever materialized. DH would join us when he was home or when we were with my parents. Years later, DH began attending a non-denominational Baptist-like Church. He decided that he needed a believer’s baptism and asked that I attend. We had several disagreements about his church attendance and their expectations about how much time he spent at church. They required Weds, Sun, and Sun afternoon small-group as a condition of membership. DD attended RE which DH supported.

DH began to be dissatisfied with his church when they began a huge church expansion project. We talked a lot about what a church should be Catholic or otherwise. I prayed a lot during this time that our family would be able to attend church together - obviously, I preferred Catholicism, but at that point, I really wanted to be in church as a family. I craved it. About two years ago, we decided to do a Marriage Encounter weekend (HIGHLY recommend, BTW). On the registration form it asks your religious affiliation. I read the choices to DH and one was “RCIA” and DH said I should choose that for him. I told him that I wouldn’t lie on the form and he told me he wanted to begin to discern if Catholicism was right for him. To say I was floored would be an understatement. Happily, he decided it was right for him and last Easter was welcomed home into the Catholic Church. Shortly after, we had our marriage convalidated (waited until after because we were waiting to hear about a radical sanation).

I give you all the details because this was a long, arduous journey that impacted our marriage at many points and in many ways. It’s a very difficult road and you never know where its going to end up. I would think long and hard about dating/marrying outside my faith after my experience.

Good Luck to you!
 
AdamPeter said:
Sinful. No.

But it is strongly discouraged by the Church in almost all circumstances.
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Perhaps “strongly discouraged” in Ireland. However - and being involved in marriage prep in two parishes - my sense is that in this day and age the local church is delighted by ANY couple choosing a church wedding instead of a meadow, mountainside, Disney World, cruise ship, Bahamas, or a dozen other places where 20- and 30-somethings seem to marry now. In 11 years I have never seen a single instance of a proposed marriage being “discouraged” JUST because of the religion of the non-Catholic party. Other reasons, yes, but not mixed faith.
 
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