Is it sinful to marry a non Catholic Christian?

[E_7]

If she is willing to raise her future children with you Catholic, I don’t see why not marry her.

 

[Mike_tn]

Sinful means, does it miss the mark? Yes, a mixed marriage choice misses the mark. Joining the Catholic Church first establishes a kind of primary marriage through baptism/confirmation so any subsequent marriage to a spouse has to be in agreement with the previous unless you are willing to accept more than the hardship St Paul mentions 1Cor 7:28.

A person’s marital graces would be at odds with their baptismal/confirmation graces. I can’t help but to go so far as to say the sacraments would to some degree be profaned.

“Since the sanctification of man is in the power of God who sanctifies”, writes St. Thomas (loc. cit., a. 5), “it is not in the competency of man to choose the things by which he is to be sanctified, but this must be determined by Divine institution”.
Catholic Answers Encyclopedia - Sacraments

Included in this, marriage interest is premeditated or intended, no one inadvertently marries, so a Catholic person marrying a non-Catholic is like a saboteur to the extent they are aware of what a sacrament is. If the Catholic Church establishes all seven of the sacraments, without which there would be none, do you think her valid preference includes her children to marry non-Catholic?

And if a person cannot find a good spouse whom is Catholic because the times are apocalyptic, hearts lose faith etc, what recourse does a person have? I’d say you at least have penance. Jesus Christ told us that much in scripture last weekend on the first day of Advent 2016

Jesus said to his disciples:
“As it was in the days of Noah,
so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.
In those days before the flood,
they were eating and drinking,
marrying and giving in marriage,
up to the day that Noah entered the ark.
They did not know until the flood came and carried them all away.
So will it be also at the coming of the Son of Man.
Mt 24:37-39

Here he equates marriage with being satiated at a party that can leave a person unaware. It suggests that to wed, even at best, is like wealth, baggage or booze that’s playing on our weaknesses.

Why don’t you just do penance and go to confession more? Isn’t that why there are less and less eligible Catholics to be found or that the eligible Catholics don’t match our idea of entertainment in people. We forgot about that life of penance our baptism carries with it. And if a Catholic marries a non-Catholic they will simply be trading that initial penance they passed by for a harder one with their non-Catholic spouse.

If you marry, however, you do not sin, nor does an unmarried woman sin if she marries; but such people will experience affliction in their earthly life, and I would like to spare you that.
1Cor 7:28

Jesus answering, said: Amen I say to you, there is no man who hath left house or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or children, or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, Who shall not receive an hundred times as much, now in this time; houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions: and in the world to come life everlasting. Mk:10:29

To be baptized or married, no one absolutely needs a priest. We decide what a mixed-marriage will make of our troubled lives. Maybe God is testing us?

 

[TheAmazingGrace]

Not a sin, but it can be especially tricky when the woman is the non-Catholic. Mothers are (generally speaking) their children’s primary teachers, and because of this children tend to take their religious cues from Mom. You’ll have to put in a lot of work if you want any future children of yours to be practicing Catholics.

 

[Mike_tn]

Not a sin, but it can be especially tricky when the woman is the non-Catholic. Mothers are (generally speaking) their children’s primary teachers, and because of this children tend to take their religious cues from Mom. You’ll have to put in a lot of work if you want any future children of yours to be practicing Catholics.

There are restrictions which if transgressed could make it a sin. While to marry properly is not a sin, St Paul says the marriage is to be “only in the Lord” which could be taken to mean “only Catholic”, and if your informed conscience said so then you’d be required to follow it. And at the time of Christ and for many centuries after, the father of the house had the final authority in choosing his daughter’s spouse. It isn’t likely a Catholic couple would allow their child to marry a non-Catholic. St Paul refers to both of these in the last five verses of 1 Corinthians 7.

 

[jlc2k2]

There are restrictions which if transgressed could make it a sin. While to marry properly is not a sin, St Paul says the marriage is to be “only in the Lord” which could be taken to mean “only Catholic”, and if your informed conscience said so then you’d be required to follow it. And at the time of Christ and for many centuries after, the father of the house had the final authority in choosing his daughter’s spouse. It isn’t likely a Catholic couple would allow their child to marry a non-Catholic. St Paul refers to both of these in the last five verses of 1 Corinthians 7.

It may not have been common but it did happen. And even saints have been married to not only non-Catholic Christians but non-Christians.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Monica

 

[Blessedwithfive]

There are restrictions which if transgressed could make it a sin. While to marry properly is not a sin, St Paul says the marriage is to be “only in the Lord” which could be taken to mean “only Catholic”, and if your informed conscience said so then you’d be required to follow it. And at the time of Christ and for many centuries after, the father of the house had the final authority in choosing his daughter’s spouse. It isn’t likely a Catholic couple would allow their child to marry a non-Catholic. St Paul refers to both of these in the last five verses of 1 Corinthians 7.

Actually in 1 Cor 7 Paul states that the believing spouse can make the unbeilving spouse holy. 2 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not [f]divorce her. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not [g]send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through [h]her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.

St. Paul was very big on the fact the that the church belongs to all, not just the “chosen” people.

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

There are restrictions which if transgressed could make it a sin. While to marry properly is not a sin, St Paul says the marriage is to be “only in the Lord” which could be taken to mean “only Catholic”, and if your informed conscience said so then you’d be required to follow it. And at the time of Christ and for many centuries after, the father of the house had the final authority in choosing his daughter’s spouse. It isn’t likely a Catholic couple would allow their child to marry a non-Catholic. St Paul refers to both of these in the last five verses of 1 Corinthians 7.

Since the Church does not teach that interpretation of St. Paul, I don’t see how an “informed conscience” could arrive at the conclusion you cite. Moreover, since the Church very clearly does allow “mixed marriages,” your statement could be taken to mean that the Church permits sin. Finally, the statement “It isn’t likely a Catholic couple would allow their child to marry a non-Catholic” does not, in my experience, reflect any significant degree of reality for the last 50 or so years. Parents I know are delighted if the couple at least decides to be married in Church instead of on a beach somewhere. Lastly, your implication that only Catholics can be “in The Lord” is significantly demeaning to a whole lot of Protestants.

 

[chevalier]

For many years I did not have a relationship but I went out on countless dates looking for the right person on Catholic women. Then on a unexpected turn of events in my life, our paths crossed each other and there was instant chemistry.

I was raised Catholic and she was raised Christian. She grew up going to Sunday school and nowadays she is very active in her Church, so we cannot ask each other to change our faiths.

We both believe strongly in God and besides our beliefs, we have so many things and values in common. I found things in her that I could never found in a Catholic and I will propose her soon.

I have to agree with 1ke and rather than responding directly to, ‘is it a sin?,’ just say it’s unwise. But if you’re looking for traces of sin in this hypothetical, then you aren’t actually off base. A Catholic has an obligation to also bring up his children Catholic. The promise we make while marrying is no longer that we will absolutely do so but only that we will do our best. But if you’re going to have to promise to do your best to do something that you already know your bride is never going to agree, then that obviously puts you in an extremely dubious situation.

And for the record, you don’t have to convert her, but giving your children up to be raised as something else than Catholic is a whole different kettle of fish.

It’s a horrible situation, one that I certainly don’t envy you, and one that I’ve been in and don’t ever want to be in again. Not ever. I’d rather be a punching bag for a week.

Don’t attack her, don’t give her any flak for not being ‘what you would want her to be’, tell her you respect her and life her all the same, but this particular complication in the future is something that can’t be overlooked and has to be considered earlier than later. If it comes to breaking up, be clear there’s no joy or satisfaction in it (unless you take joy in the sacrifice, but that’s not something I’d normally want to discuss with the person being sacrificed).

Since the Church does not teach that interpretation of St. Paul, I don’t see how an “informed conscience” could arrive at the conclusion you cite. Moreover, since the Church very clearly does allow “mixed marriages,” your statement could be taken to mean that the Church permits sin.

The Church certainly does not permit bringing children up as interdenominational (salad mix) or twodenominational or nondenominational or the non-Catholic parent’s denomination. So yeah, mixed marriages are not prohibited, but then there’s this.

Once the non-Catholic spouse agrees to bring the children up Catholic, then many issues are still going to remain but none of the kind that can’t be worked out.

 

[SGTTOM]

Its fine as long as the person agrees to raise the Children Catholic.

I personally don’t see how it could work very well, at least for me. Honestly the difference between Catholics and most other Christians is pretty substantial.

 

[Mike_tn]

Actually in 1 Cor 7 Paul states that the believing spouse can make the unbeilving spouse holy. 2 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not [f]divorce her. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not [g]send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through [h]her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy…

Wonderful scripture but what I specifically referred to was the last 5 verses of 1 Cor 7 which are:

36If anyone thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, and if a critical moment has come and so it has to be, let him do as he wishes. He is committing no sin; let them get married.
37
The one who stands firm in his resolve, however, who is not under compulsion but has power over his own will, and has made up his mind to keep his virgin, will be doing well.
38
So then, the one who marries his virgin does well; the one who does not marry her will do better.
39
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whomever she wishes, provided that it be in the Lord.n
40
She is more blessed, though, in my opinion, if she remains as she is, and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

---

St. Paul was very big on the fact the that the church belongs to all, not just the “chosen” people

The “Chosen People” remark has no basis in what I said above. Your remark is beside the point. Determining a best spouse for marriage or to get married at all, is a life decision, one of many. Making a choice is an act that can and should be made as well as possible by all. If the choice is made poorly one has to live with that just like any poor choice. Everyone makes poor choices, we just hope to come to an end of them. There is no need to remain where we are in decision making proficiency when the help of God & his Church are available. According to your line of thinking I ought to remain bad at decision making because God would love me still. Sounds like Protestant reasoning.

 

[Mike_tn]

It may not have been common but it did happen. And even saints have been married to not only non-Catholic Christians but non-Christians.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Monica

Thank you jlc2k2. Wonderful saints can make an error and I am not in the business of determining the moral culpability of one specific person’s actions in the history books. Assuming the saint had a considerable length of years pursuing God as a Catholic, I’d guess those saints you refer to, married outside the faith, earlier and not later in life. Why do I say that? Because wisdom gain by interacting with God and Catholics would have informed them. And as we age the road gets narrow, there is less room for error, we get better at avoiding unnecessary trouble and should be better at it given the gifts we have obtained by then.

A person can reach a point where they ought to know better. What the person might have recovered from in the past, they may not recover from in the future. And that’s like an encroachment of sin possiblities as we learn and grow. An example is like the alcoholic who was younger and didn’t know one drink leads to his drunks. It’s hardly a sin for the poor ignorant young man to drink the next day. But 30 years down the road, after 15 years of sobriety, that next drink is almost certainly going to be a sin for the sober wiser recovered alcoholic. The analogy can be applied to other issues besides drink.

 

[jlc2k2]

Thank you jlc2k2. Wonderful saints can make an error and I am not in the business of determining the moral culpability of one specific person’s actions in the history books. Assuming the saint had a considerable length of years pursuing God as a Catholic, I’d guess those saints you refer to, married outside the faith, earlier and not later in life. Why do I say that? Because wisdom gain by interacting with God and Catholics would have informed them. And as we age the road gets narrow, there is less room for error, we get better at avoiding unnecessary trouble and should be better at it given the gifts we have obtained by then.

A person can reach a point where they ought to know better. What the person might have recovered from in the past, they may not recover from in the future. And that’s like an encroachment of sin possiblities as we learn and grow. An example is like the alcoholic who was younger and didn’t know one drink leads to his drunks. It’s hardly a sin for the poor ignorant young man to drink the next day. But 30 years down the road, after 15 years of sobriety, that next drink is almost certainly going to be a sin for the sober wiser recovered alcoholic. The analogy can be applied to other issues besides drink.

If you take a moment to look at the link I posted or the name of the saint in the link, you see that I was referring to Saint Monica who lived in the 300s. In that time where you implied Catholic parents would never have their child marry a non-Catholic. Saint Monica was wed to Patricius - a Pagan. I was referring to that particular statement made by you about early Catholic parents not choosing or allowing their children to marry non-Catholics.

And on a more personal note, I’m not sure if i should be offended at being compared to an alcoholic beverage. Am I a beer or a yummy mixed drink?

(To be clear, I was the non-Catholic Christian at the time of my marriage and I’m not actually offended. I am eternally grateful my husband never came here to ask if he should marry me. Otherwise, I may never have come home to the Church.)

 

[Blessedwithfive]

chevalier, it sounds like you might have had a bad experience. If so, I am truly sorry. As a woman who did marry a non-Catholic, I can say I don’t regret it. We both agreed to raise the children Catholic and my husband attended Mass with us as a family for over 26 years. He finally decided to join the church last year.
My daughter has now married a non-Catholic, but very faith filled man. When we discussed the “problems” surrounding a mixed faith marriage, she simply said “It really worked out well for you and Dad” (this was before my husband decided to join the church). It did work out well for us and we know many mixed faith marriages at our church that are very secure.
It really is all about respect and the fact that Catholicism is not the only way to salvation. Belief if Christ is what is needed, not the Catholic Church.

 

[Peebo]

If she is not anti-Catholic that is a plus to you…my wife was Methodist…I invited her to the Catholic church a few times and I attended her Methodist church a few times…she started to enjoy the Catholic mass more and became curious even more so…I always prayed that the Holy Spirit would open her heart to the Catholic faith…and although it took quite a few years that’s what happened…now she has me reciting the Divine Mercy every morning…along with the Rosary… the daily mass readings…and being involved in the Eucharistic Adoration each week…nothing better than a new convert to keep you focused on your faith…lol

 

[Bataar]

Slightly off topic, but I’m just curious as to where some of you meet other Catholics. I’m not asking for specific advice for myself, just more of a high level question because I’m simply curious about it. In my area, meeting anyone at church itself doesn’t seem possible as generally, it’s a race to the door after or even before the final blessing. A few churches still have a coffee and donut social after a Sunday Mass, but 90% of the people that go to those are senior citizens and the other 10% are families with young kids who seem to go just to get a treat for their kids. This generally isn’t too big of a deal as when I look around during mass, there doesn’t appear to be any other singles anyway.

Beyond Mass, there’s really no sense of parish community and no real interaction. I’m 37 and haven’t had a Catholic friend since I was a little kid and my friends were the kids of my mom’s friends. Admittedly, my social circle is small, but I don’t even know a single, single woman who is Catholic.

 

[Blessedwithfive]

Slightly off topic, but I’m just curious as to where some of you meet other Catholics. I’m not asking for specific advice for myself, just more of a high level question because I’m simply curious about it. In my area, meeting anyone at church itself doesn’t seem possible as generally, it’s a race to the door after or even before the final blessing. A few churches still have a coffee and donut social after a Sunday Mass, but 90% of the people that go to those are senior citizens and the other 10% are families with young kids who seem to go just to get a treat for their kids. This generally isn’t too big of a deal as when I look around during mass, there doesn’t appear to be any other singles anyway.

Beyond Mass, there’s really no sense of parish community and no real interaction. I’m 37 and haven’t had a Catholic friend since I was a little kid and my friends were the kids of my mom’s friends. Admittedly, my social circle is small, but I don’t even know a single, single woman who is Catholic.

Check to see if they offer Theology on Tap in your area.