As far as chilren in church is concerned. I am a social worker and have a minor in child psychology. I believe that parents contribute largely to a child’s behavior. I believe that children as young as 2.5 are very capable of sitting quitely in mass if the parents were clear and consistent in teaching and demonstrating how the child is expected to behave leading up to that age. .
Melissa, I have a Master’s degree in Psychology, 3 children, one who is grown, one with high-functioning autism (and for whom I have become highly educated in many areas because of her special needs, and I could probably get a doctorate at this point with all of the reading I’ve done). I have also volunteered in church and CCD preschool programs for years.
I can guarantee you that your opinion that the only reason why any child over the age of two and half cannot sit quitely for one hour unless that has somehow not been “demonstrated” for them or “modeled” for them how to sit quitely is not shared by anyone in the professional world. If you doubt that about 60% of toddlers and preschool children will have some difficulty sitting through Mass without work on the parents’ part, just go to the phone book, call up a specialist, and ask him or her yourself.
First, there are no adults who squirm, figet, and scream in Mass. None. There are no adults who do not model proper behavior in Mass.
Second, if you studied child development you might remember the concept of temperment. Temperment is inborn. It is a function of physiology. The activity level of each child is controlled by temperment. This is not conjecture or opinion, it is an empirically verified foundation of developmental psychology that has been studied since the late 1970s. 40% of children have easy temperments. Those children might be sitting through Mass without any problems when they’re two. 60% are not. Of the remaining 60%, another 10% couldn’t make if for 15 minutes. Those children have difficult temperments.
Third, if you studied child development you might remember the average attention span of a children who are under the age of 5. For a two year old, even if they are highly engaged, it is 30 minutes. The small children who sit quietly in Mass have the kinds of brains that are able to entertain themselves and the kinds of temperments that can tolerate one hour of sitting still.
Fourth, but this is really going into too much detail for this messageboard, children under the age of 4 learn how to pay attention and sit still in Mass by being directed, not by example, because they have not developmentally reached the age where they have a concept of the differences between public and private behavior and social modelling. Two year olds don’t even play with each other. They play side by side. I gurantee you they don’t behave one way or the other because you are sitting quietly in the pew and they’ve intellectually processed your social example. They haven’t even reached the stage where they can draw those conclusions.
In the past year I have read- over and over and over again- on the subject of young children in Mass, the boastings of parents whose children sat through Mass since toddlerhood. I have seen post after post after post explaining to these mothers that not all children are the same, and you cannot pat yourself on the back because your 1 year old has an unusually long attention span or an easy temperment. You cannot look down your nose at the 60% of mothers who don’t have this particular advantage. Without exception- no mother who posts that their child can sit through Mass because of their “superior example” ever admits that there isn’t the slightest factual basis for their belief, and that it is in fact purely luck that their child didn’t turn out with a different brain.
It would be nice if some of these parents could be objective and give up their need to use social comparisons to boast their egos in this way, but I doubt I will ever see it happen.
But calling a spade a spade is Christian charity. Some just don’t want to see it that way. Caritas in veritate: Charity in Truth
) or running up and down the aisles …I expect some noise, some crying, etc.
If the child is my kids’ ages, there would be a problem then. My kids sometimes bother each other during mass, and they get a look 
mad: that’s the look) from me. But, they’re **my **kids. They are teens and need to be paying attention. When they were toddlers, they hadn’t a clue to what was being discussed, I didn’t expect them to sit still at 2 or 3 (this is just me) thankfully, we belonged to a parish that had a baby room…I would just sit in there. But, I know many parishes don’t have them. Do the best you can. Kids should learn how to refrain from yelling out…but under the age of 4…it can be tough.