Is it wise to begin dating without knowing whether one is called to marriage?

[underacloud]

Many people suggest the call to vocation - either marriage or religious - begins with a desire towards that vocation.

Which in short means, if you feel the desire to date someone, that may well be the start of a call towards marriage (not necessarily to that person though). If you feel an attraction to the opposite sex, and are “looking forward to having a family”, then it’s probably a fair sign that marriage may well be your vocation.

Conversely, you say you don’t “feel pulled” towards a religious life, so you need not worry about that at this time. If God wants to call you, He will.

Relax. Enjoy being young.

 

[StSentry83]

In my humble opinion, one should not date unless they are ready to seriously think about marriage, and to only date someone you’d consider to be a possible choice of spouse.

You’re not alone; a lot of people here seem to share that opinion.

I don’t particularly understand how that works, practically, though I’m quite eager to hear more of what you have to say on the subject. I guess a lot of my confusion comes from the question of what it is that one means by “date.” I mean, if “date” means interacting in a 1 on 1 basis (whether in a group or alone together) with a member of the opposite sex, then waiting until you’re, say, 25+ (the age at which people are getting married in the West) to do that sounds like it would be very socially stunting, and developing the ability to interact in such a fashion rapidly in your mid to late 20’s would be a very tough task.

Another thing is: how many very suitable spouses might one pass up by waiting until one has achieved a bachelor (perhaps even master or doctorate) degree, securing a well-paying job, purchasing a house, etc. before entertaining a romantic notion towards anyone?

A third thing that I wonder about is how might this work for women that intend to be stay at home mothers? Are they “ready” sooner? Their path is a bit more confusing to me. Because… do they also go to college, then go to grad school, then find a nice job, etc. before they even consider a romantic interest, just in case they don’t find one? Or do they start looking for a potential spouse right out of high school?

That was all about the first part of your statement. Some more questions about the 2nd part: if “dating” just means making an effort to better know someone of the opposite sex, how do you get to the point where you know someone is a “possible choice of spouse” without dating?

 

[Mimi20]

The question changes a lot when a particular person asks you out or interests you.
…
Whatever you do, feel free to politely turn someone down who asks when you do not feel inclined to go on a date, and do not feel a need to give a reason other than, “Hmmm…I don’t think so. Thank you, but I don’t think so.” Reasons will hurt the tender-hearted and only give the bold ones an opening to argue with you. A simple, “thanks, but no thanks” is the best route. Don’t let them guilt you into changing your mind by acting pathetic. The guy will live, just as you would survive if someone who excited you turned you down. Not fun, but not the end of the world.

If you would like a date with the person but do not like the outing proposed, say so. Again, you don’t need to give a reason. Just say, “I don’t want to do X, but I think Y might be nice, if you’d like.” If they start bargaining, just say, “Today, I’m offering Y. If it doesn’t appeal to you, oh well. Maybe you’ll find someone else who wants to do X. If you do, have a nice time!”

This. All very true.
At about your age I had been wrestling with the same question. My mother was kind enough to purchase me a booklet whose purpose was to the effect about “discerning your vocation.” Probably hoping that it would lead to a sudden epiphany towards the religious life.
Although I didn’t find it to be terribly helpful, it did have a singular piece of advice which I hadn’t heard or considered before. Basically it consisted of asking the person(s) closet to you, whose opinions you trust and respect, what they thought you were most likely called to do. Of all the advice I had been given previously, this was a first. The only person I seriously posed this question to was actually my own mother. After a bit of conversation over the topic she admitted that, in her opinion, she thought I would likely marry.
Now I’m a long way from that point, but as some encouragement: keep your nose to the grindstone, and when you work towards figuring out your own way in life, God will undoubtedly fill your life with some unexpected surprises, opportunities, and blessings.