I like the quote from Seinfeld.
OP, my husband and I have been happily married for 35 years.
He looks at beautiful women. I look at handsome men.
My screensaver on my computer is a very handsome picture of my favorite actor (who is 56, so at least it’s not indecent!). While my two daughters were growing up, I had one side of the refrigerator (the side I see when I am standing at the stove) covered with pictures of various actors, entertainers, authors, etc. that I liked. One of their girlfriends told them once, “Your mother is cool. She’s the only mother I’ve ever known who puts up pictures of her favorite actors!”
My husband’s office (at home) is decorated with all kinds of pictures, statues, toys, etc. of Ariel, the little mermaid, as well as other non-Ariel paraphernalia. When we went to see Jodi Benson (voice of Disney’s Little Mermaid), I had to hold my husband back from climbing over the gate and rushing the stage to get close to “the little mermaid.”
For us, it’s just harmless fun. And both of us know that our biggest crushes are reserved for EACH OTHER. Every time he looks at a beautiful girl, he will turn to me and say, “You’re hotter.” And every time I look at a handsome dude, I will turn to him and say, “You’re cuter!”
Here’s my advice to you: the bigger the fuss you make about it, the more he will do it. So don’t make a fuss. Roll your eyes, and that’s it.
People crave behaviors that are “forbidden.” Have you ever noticed that the instant you go on a diet, you start craving fattening foods that you haven’t wanted in years? But the instant you give yourself permission to eat these foods, you don’t want them anymore.
I think the same thing happens with men. It’s the way God made men–they are attracted by beautiful women and easily (instantly) aroused by sight. When we women acknowledge this, give a chuckle, roll our eyes, and say, “Wow, men! God sure made you different than me,” you will both be less tormented by a man’s “normal” behavior. And with the pressure off, your husband will find it easier to practice the “Seinfeld advice” to just look once, like most men do, and then look away and find his wife.
Here’s another piece of advice that I heard years ago from a very wise mother at a bridal shower–she told her daughter, “Honey, always bait your own hook.”
I think that’s important for all of us women to do. You may or may not have the knock-out body that many women have, but you can make the most of what you have and use it to attract your husband. When he looks at another women, he should immediately think, “Wow, my wife is beautiful and I want her!” That’s kind of what happens in our marriage–both of us are fully aware that we don’t really “want” these crushes–they’re just fun remnants of our teen years! We WANT each other, and seeing our crushes reminds us that we have found the love of our life!
I hope this advice is helpful to you and others.
