…continued:
To love your life conditionally on loving a perfect and beautiful body is an attitude that must be transcended as one ages. The research shows that as people age, even though they might not be as “pretty and perfect” as their young self–more weight, scars, stretch marks, sagging, wrinkles, grey hair–people actually ACCEPT themselves much more as they age. I can say that’s true. My self-esteem about my body and my appearance is much higher than when I was a young hottie.

And that’s apart from having serious disease. Throw in serious disease, or chronic disease, the body not working perfectly as it should, and one learns that one’s person, identity, dignity, is bigger than one’s body. (I like that song of defiant triumph by John Mayer, Bigger Than My Body.)
So, I am still very strong and capable and expect to be again after treatment is done. I clocked my personal best, fastest speed sculling (rowing) EVAH just days before my surgery. I can’t wait to get past treatment so I can start training again and getting ready for next season.
But even when there’s not that hope of becoming strong and able again, when one is in decline, there is still dignity and joy and life. My dad is in the nursing home and is in that decline, but he’s a great role model for us, because he adjusts to new circumstances and accepts gracefully the help that he needs, and he is still very trusting and joyful and makes the most out of his situation. He’s just such a happy and charming guy. Love him to pieces.
Now, we are people of faith, we are an Easter people, so we know we’re going to get perfected, glorified bodies back at the Last Day. It makes aging and scars and disease easier to accept knowing that’s not the end of the story.

It might be harder to accept if you believe that this life is all there is. Then aging would be very sad indeed because you’ll never be as buff and cute as you were when you were 20.
But even people without faith have discovered that the idea of death can really give life meaning–forces a person to choose the meaning of their life, to define themselves, not to bumble along bored and blah. The existentialists. And they’re not all depressed and down. The therapist Irwin Yalom wrote an excellent book about Existential Psychotherapy which really lays this out, and it is positive, really.
I would have to say that for me, I am not afraid of death–but I have normal dread of the process of dying, having seen my mother in that extreme pain, and suffering the same disease that might someday lead me to carry that same cross. But even that process can be seen as a gift, because it makes a person strip away their attachments to this life and get ready for the next step, when death is a relief and what comes next is going to be so good.
I’ve never not had faith, so I don’t know how people deal with the question if they don’t believe in eternal life. I’ve always believed in it even before I had a personal reason to “need” to.
Excellent question!
