Is it wrong to charge a fellow Christian with sexual assault?

[Ancient1]

911

 

[puzzleannie]

I
All that being said, I would never dream of suggesting to ANY victim of a sexual assault that not following it up was in any way sinful as some here have implied. The o do so.

nobody said or implied this
we answered her question, as we understand her rather confusing post
wrong, mistaken, ill-advise, none of these words necessarily mean “sinful”

 

[Bix]

My heart goes out to you. . . Will keep you in my prayers.

Especially, if your therapist said it was assault or rape- please report this. Do this for yourself as well as for the other past and potential victims.

however -
I’m a little confused, forgive me for asking you to repeat something, but you stated something about, guilting someone into it… It sounds as if you have reported it with little help from authorities. I’m sorry. Did they seem less helpful because you used those words?
( being guilted into it) I could see how using those terms might … Not have them jumping to your assistance. I’m sorry, but am only being honest.

I’m guessing they decipher, being guilted into it, as you regretting an action (sex or a specific act) after the fact, but had agreed and then later decided it was wrong. Guy says all the right things, you say …ok… And then later decided you shouldn’t have… Frankly, I can kinda understand their stance IF that’s the case.

Also, the longer you wait to report, the harder it is in every aspect.

Many areas now have victim advocates that are able to help you talk through, decipher, and decide how to proceed. Free of charge. Perhaps something like that would help you to determine how to proceed.

However, being a Christian or not has nothing to do with reporting an actual crime. It needs to be done when one occurs regardless of faith…

God Bless

 

[Leegal]

I’ve had incidents of this coming up several times. On one hand, a Christian person who abuses needs to learn that it’s wrong, so maybe reporting it would be a good thing. I’ve also been told that you should forgive the person, and charging them would be a form of holding a grudge. Or not being responsable for your own actions. There was a recent incident of sexual assault, and I am wondering if charging the man would be right. He had another woman press charges against him, and my friends claim it was her fault, that she led him on. I don’t want people to think that of me, because I didn’t want what happened to happen. I said no several times. I even broke up with the guy when I realized he would continue to treat me that way. What should I do?

It’s not only Christians. Anyone who sexually assaults another should be reported to and investigated by the police. This is a crime; it has no religious boundaries. Women who don’t report the crime allow it to continue – and that’s what many perpetrators count on – the fact that too many sexual assaults, abuse and rapes go unreported.

You need to find Victims’ Services or it’s equivalent in your area.

God Bless You.

 

[Jesusismyfriend]

Please re-read that definition. Sexual assault is a serious matter and it causes trauma. In Canada the crime of rape in termed 'sexual assault.

Oh thanks. That was what caused the confusion. The terms are different in several countries. The code of law differs too.

 

[Jesusismyfriend]

however -
I’m a little confused, forgive me for asking you to repeat something, but you stated something about, guilting someone into it… It sounds as if you have reported it with little help from authorities. I’m sorry. Did they seem less helpful because you used those words?
( being guilted into it) I could see how using those terms might … Not have them jumping to your assistance. I’m sorry, but am only being honest.

I’m guessing they decipher, being guilted into it, as you regretting an action (sex or a specific act) after the fact, but had agreed and then later decided it was wrong. Guy says all the right things, you say …ok… And then later decided you shouldn’t have… Frankly, I can kinda understand their stance IF that’s the case. ]

Well I should let you know…
By being guilted into it, I mean I definetely DO regret it. I fully regretted it at the time it was going on as well. I regretted the fact that I had intercourse, but I also regretted the fact that I felt the guy made it like I didn’t have a choice. He didn’t use an extreme amount of force, but there was some. I was pretty clear I didn’t want to engage from the start, and like you said, he knew the right words to say to get me to give consent. The part that bothers me is that after I said no, he kept going at it. And he acted like I was the problem because I didn’t want to. There was quite a bit of manipulation. There weren’t any death threats from him at least. A lot of guilt, and stuff like “God would want you to do it, cause God created women to make love to their man whenever he wants it.” I realize now that is total ********. And a lot of," Come on, what the heck is wrong with you? I know you want me."
And maybe he had a right to say that and use the excuse. My roommate said I was always hugging him, and didn’t have a problem with kissing him, at least before the sexual stuff started. I know somewhat how guys minds work. Somne men believe if you consent to anything (from holding hands to kissing to foreplay) you consent to anything. I didn’t consent to foreplay either, but I di hug and kiss him. Might the police think THAT was giving consent?

 

[Jesusismyfriend]

And the fact that I have a mental disorder might have something to do with why she insisted I report it. Some people with mental impairments or illnesses are considered to be more vulnerable than normal high functioning people. Maybe that was important as well.
Another important thing, is that he (my ex) was locked up for awhile for attempted murder. I was scared he had a tendency towards violence, so I felt like I might be in danger if I physically or verbally fought him on it. Does this help?