Letâs be careful not to create sin where there is none.
I believe there is nothing intrinsically wrong with a man wearing clothing typically worn by women, as long as it doesnât lead him into sin, such as fantasizing about sex, masturbating, looking at porn, or some other sin.
For reasons I wonât go into, Iâve explored this question in depth over the years with seven different priests, all of whom were the most conservative and well-formed priests I could find, including one in the Fraternal Society of St. Peter (FSSP), and another who regularly says the Traditional Latin Mass. Theyâve all agreed that it is not inherently sinful. It depends on the reason and the context. Surprisingly (to me, anyway), the more conservative they were, the fewer reservations they had about it, providing it wasnât leading the person into sexual sin.
So letâs think about it objectivelyâŚ
Pink is a color worn mostly by women. But normal men wear pink shirts, pink ties, and pink trousers. I have a friend who wears pink tennis shoes. And no one thinks anything weird or sinful is going on. It may be a little unusual, but itâs neither abnormal nor sinful for a man to wear pink outerwear. So why would it be abnormal or sinful to wear pink underwear? âItâs creepyâ is not an objective reason.
Men wear silky outerwear, too. So why would it be wrong for him to wear silky underwear? Why does it being underwear change it from being normal and morally OK to weird or sinful?
Lace is worn by men, too. It is worn by judges in court in many countries. It was worn in the (distant) past by stylish and high society men for years. Itâs even worn by many priests when they say Mass. Men were also the first to wear tights. So men wearing lace, tights, or pantyhose is neither intrinsically abnormal nor sinful.
Fabric, color, cut and style, and lace are all morally neutral. If it is neither abnormal nor sinful for a man to wear pink, silky, and lacy clothing individually, then I canât think of any reason why any particular combination of them would be intrinsically wrong for him to wear, either as outerwear or as underwear.
Unusual doesnât mean abnormal or sinful. And abnormal doesnât mean sinful, either.
So the act itself of a man wearing womenâs clothing is neither intrinsically abnormal nor sinful. Or if it is abnormal, that doesnât mean itâs so grossly abnormal as to require professional psychological help.
The question then, is âwhy would a man want to wear clothing that is clearly intended for women?â The answer most people will likely come up with is that âsomething is wrong with him.â That may or may not be so. But even if there is âsomething wrong with him,â filling a psychological need isnât a sin if itâs being filled by something that is not by its own nature sinful and it helps the person lead an otherwise normal life.
Letâs change the example a little to illustrate. Consider a grown man who finds that wearing superman underwear helps him relax or gives him confidence. Most of us would agree that this would indicate some sort of psychological immaturity on his part. But whatâs the harm? If itâs a crutch he needs to relax, or feel confident, then why shouldnât he do it? He may need professional psychological help, too, but what would be sinful about wearing superman underwear? Nothing.
So, if he finds that wearing silky, lacy, pink panties helps him relax or gives him confidence, why would that be any different from the superman underwear? Think objectively here. The fact that you personally may find it âcreepyâ doesnât mean itâs sinful. Our faith doesnât work that way.
My point isnât that a man wearing womenâs clothing is normal. Rather, Iâm simply trying to illustrate that 1) the simple act of a man wearing womenâs clothing is not always sinful, and that 2) there is a difference between âcreepy,â âabnormal,â and âsinful.â
Of course, I suspect that itâs frequently, if not overwhelmingly the case that men who wear womenâs clothing do so for some sexual reason. But even then, in the right context, it may not be sinful. For example, it would not be sinful for a man to wear lingerie while making love to his wife if she does not object.
Remember, weâre all psychologically and spiritually broken in many ways. We wonât always understand how others are broken, or even how we ourselves are broken. We all have ways of dealing with the harm done to us by our own sins and the sins of others. A crossdresser typically has suffered some real, deep emotional harm during his early life, and his crossdressing helps him deal with it. We may not be able to understand why or how it helps him, but we can at least understand that it is not necessarily a sin.
I donât want to give the impression that I think crossdressing is perfectly fine and normal. And considering the serious nature of the question, and the possibility of leading someone into sin, I want to be clear about that.
Another thing to keep in mind is that crossdressing runs in a spectrum from simply wanting to wear womenâs underwear without anyone else knowing about it, to full blown in-your-face transvestites in drag in public arenas promoting crossdressing as a sexual lifestyle, and everything in between.
â Continued below â
