Is it wrong to enjoy being in the "friend zone"?

[EasterJoy]

I’m not sure I can give a definitive answer but I’d imagine it’s been quite a while. Two of my female friends in college were married but the rest were single. We considered each other attractive and were all very interested in a relationship–long or short term depending on the person–just not with each other. We enjoyed each other’s company, though, had shared interests and liked hanging out together. I never saw our friendship as odd or felt pity for myself when a night out dancing, watching movies together or even hanging out in the one’s hot tub didn’t end in an orgy (and there was always drinking involved so our inhibitions were always quite low by the end of the night, and still nothing happened). Nowadays I’d be considered some sort of freak and loser for that and subjected to all manner of internet shaming. I think that’s ridiculous.

I think it was probably different for me because we had lots of friends from work–we spent too much time there and tended to socialize with each other–and it was a fairly common policy to not date anyone at work. It would have been like dating a sibling. When someone found a boyfriend or a girlfriend and brought them into the circle, it was a welcomed thing.

Of course, we were in science, so that would probably make us “freaks” and “losers” right off the bat. Yes, we cared about that, LOL!!

 

[Estevao]

What I’ve noticed is that women will usually say that a man and a woman can be friends w/o romance, whereas a man will say the opposite, that they can’t. I guess men are more romantic than women, and women are usually a little naive about human nature.

No offense but that’s a literary stereotype that women are the gentler sex and all that.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

I think it was probably different for me because we had lots of friends from work–we spent too much time there and tended to socialize with each other–and it was a fairly common policy to not date anyone at work. It would have been like dating a sibling. When someone found a boyfriend or a girlfriend and brought them into the circle, it was a welcomed thing.

Of course, we were in science, so that would probably make us “freaks” and “losers” right off the bat. Yes, we cared about that, LOL!!

Most of my friends in college were people I worked with. That could be part of why it was so easy to be strictly platonic friends, because we’d all seen (some first hand) what a train wreck it is when coworkers date and then break up. There’s few things nastier than two people trying to work together after a vicious breakup.

 

[Sarcelle]

What I’ve noticed is that women will usually say that a man and a woman can be friends w/o romance, whereas a man will say the opposite, that they can’t. I guess men are more romantic than women, and women are usually a little naive about human nature.

No offense but that’s a literary stereotype that women are the gentler sex and all that.

Well, it depends if a man finds his female friend as attractive or not. If he finds her attractive than yes friendship is not possible without romantic attraction. However, if a man does not find a woman attractive and vice versa, than platonic friendship is possible.

 

[styrgwillidar]

Well, it depends if a man finds his female friend as attractive or not. If he finds her attractive than yes friendship is not possible without romantic attraction. However, if a man does not find a woman attractive and vice versa, than platonic friendship is possible.

No. I disagree, I’ve met a number of women who were quite attractive that I was never more than platonic friends with, it tends to be set pretty early in the relationship. No problem, mutual understanding that for whatever reason there’s just nothing there to indicate it will ever be anything more than friendship.

Now, there were a couple that I was very interested in pursuing who just weren’t interested in me. Having female friends, 4 sisters and their friends, I really wasn’t interested in acquiring additional female friendships with those particular women. Platonic friendship wasn’t possible with those few women.

 

[eViLpOpTaRt]

I have a female best friend. I have liked her romantically in the past and I wanted a romantic relationship with her in the past but now I don’t. I enjoy the fact that we are best friends and that we can talk to each other and be there for each other in a platonic way. A lot of guys would probably be ticked off to just be friends with a woman and not go any further if he had feelings for her but I guess I am not like that. Am I being too comfortable in being just friends with a woman? I know that if I want to find a woman I would have to make an effort but I guess with a great female best friend why would I have to find a girlfriend? It seems I have a lot of qualities of being with a good girlfriend without the boyfriend/girlfriend commitment. Am I wrong? Also she has a baby now and feelings her baby’s father so it would probably be a good idea to just be friends with her.

Not at all. You should be free to have a non-romantic, asexual relationship with a woman. I don’t see this as a matter of morality.