Is living in a Catholic marriage more fulfilling than any other kind?

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Hi everyone,

I was wondering, have you found that being in a Catholic marriage is ( possibly, in any way ) more happy/satisfying than a non-Catholic marriage?

I’ve not been married as of yet, and I never really knew, but do couple who aren’t religious, or who ARE religious but not Catholic, have marriages that might be not as satisfying as Catholic marriages?
Please share your experiences and opinions of how you feel Catholic marriages compare to marriages that aren’t Catholic.

I’d like to believe that a Catholic marriage is more happy and meaningful than any other kind of marriage, but of course I’m biased because I’m Catholic. 🙂
Thanks in advance for your answers!
 
Physically, a marriage is a marriage. Yet, to more fully understand and involve oneself in the Catholic faith vastly improves one’s spiritual life, whether married or single. This comes via the Sacraments, of which a sacramental marriage is but one.
 
How would we know the difference? Catholics are only supposed to have one marriage. Any marriage where the couple shares the same beliefs, values and interests will be the best marriage. I don’t think being Catholic gives you an advantage on good marriages. But I do think it gives us an advantage in our “marriage” as the “bride of Christ”.
 
Catholics who have been widowed and married again (that is, married to both a strong Catholic and a spouse who is non-Catholic or a weak Catholic without having the cloud over their judgment that comes from divorce) say it is difficult to overstate how much of a comfort it is to share the faith with your spouse.

This does not just apply to a comparison with a non-Catholic spouse, but possibly more so to the comparison with a Catholic spouse who is “militantly lukewarm.” The latter seems to be the most difficult of all. There are non-Catholic spouses who are more supportive of the Catholic faith in their household than many a Catholic is.
 
I don’t know if it is more fulfilling but yesterday I read that Catholics who attend mass often stay married much more than average. It may be they are more observant of the rules. More than likely it has to do with shared beliefs. This should be a warning to people looking to marry outside the faith.
 
johnsmith2025 said:
I’d like to believe that a Catholic marriage is more happy and meaningful than any other kind of marriage, but of course I’m biased because I’m Catholic. 🙂
Thanks in advance for your answers!
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A Catholic marriage doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage; more meaningful, I’d venture to say, yes.

What makes the difference is the sacramental nature of a Catholic marriage. This is what other marriages lack. “Sacraments are outward signs of inward grace, instituted by Christ for our sanctification.” It is that grace which sustains us 'in good times, and bad, through sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer. We enter into the sacrament accepting the possibility of downsides to the arrangement, but we invited God, include him, in our marriage so that we will have his guidance and grace.

I’ve been married 28 years so far (Catholic), but my cohorts have also been married for over 20 years (non-Catholic), and other Catholic cohorts have been married Catholic, and divorced. From what I can gather, the bottom line isn’t whether the marriage is ‘Catholic’ or not, but whether or not the couple is truly committed to the concept that marriage is a vocation, one which obligates each party to strive to help the other become the best they can be individually, spiritually, and together as a whole.

My non-Catholic long time married couples have that attitude, that approach, though they didn’t have a ‘sacramental’ marriage ceremony. The Catholic married couples who ended in divorce, and remarriage, tended to marry ‘Catholic’ for ceremonial and traditional purposes. They didn’t seem to carry the spirit of the vocation into their relationship after the wedding. Seems to me it’s how a couple views the relationship in the long run that determines whether or not the marriage will be happy or meaningful.
 
Marriage, like anything else in life, is as good as you make it.

Most of my friends and family are married, but there are only a few that have admirably strong and happy marriages. My MIL and her husband are both very devout Catholics and they have a remarkable relationship. My brother and SIL are the same way, except they are agnostic. And my husband and I have a very good marriage and we are both atheists. What sets these three marriages apart from others that I have seen is the dedication to spending quality time together and the ability to find joy in little things, even when life is throwing challenges and heartache at the couple.

A couple that thinks that they have a stronger marriage because they are of a certain religion, income, education level, background, or whatever is seriously missing the point of what makes a strong marriage, and they risk getting complacent and lazy. The effort, thoughtfulness, commitment, etc are what matters.

I would also bet that having the same level of dedication to the same religion matters a heck of a lot more than what that religion is. Two people who are equally dedicated and devoted to Scientology who are able to build a life around that together are going to have an advantage over a couple that has tension or disagreements over what to believe and how to practice those beliefs. My MIL and her husband are on the same page-daily mass every single day. My husband and I are on the same page-no god, but open minded and accepting of other people’s beliefs. My brother and SIL believe the same thing as well-that there might be something out there but if there is, it would be beyond human understanding. All three of these couples also share the same morals, values, and worldviews. That goes a long way.
 
I think that the expectations that go along with Christian marriage provide a framework for building a good relationship and life together. It certainly works better then just “doing what you feel” or “winging it”. However, the success of an individual relationship is contingent on lots of different factors.
 
I was raised in a non-denominational protestant home. My dad is agnostic (or maybe atheist? I’m not really sure what he believes; he never talked about it with us kids) but allowed my mom to raise us with her religion. They’ve been married for 35 years now, but I think that being “unequally yoked” has been a bit difficult for them, at least from what I’ve picked up from things my mom’s said here and there.

After college, I kind of let my faith dissipate. I met my now-husband, who attended a non-denominational protestant church as a teen when his dad remarried. But by the time I’d met him, he’d also been questioning his faith. So at the time, being “on the same page” religiously speaking did in fact bring us together in marriage and gave us something to believe/not believe together.

Fast forward 8.5 yrs to today and I’m now seriously considering joining the Catholic church. I’m on a faith journey that, while my husband supports me on, he is not on himself. But I wish he was, and it makes me feel more distant from him as we are slowly forming different beliefs on matters. But his journey is his own to take and I cannot force him to believe as I.

So while my story does not completely answer your question, but from my experiences, it seems like married couples generally have more satisfying/fulfilling marriages if they share the same religious beliefs, regardless of what those beliefs are. I’d think that two agnostics together could be just as happy as two Catholics together, but that an agnostic being married to a Catholic would be difficult.
 
johnsmith2025 said:
Hi everyone,

I was wondering, have you found that being in a Catholic marriage is ( possibly, in any way ) more happy/satisfying than a non-Catholic marriage? I’ve not been married as of yet, and I never really knew, but do couple who aren’t religious, or who ARE religious but not Catholic, have marriages that might be not as satisfying as Catholic marriages?
Please share your experiences and opinions of how you feel Catholic marriages compare to marriages that aren’t Catholic. I’d like to believe that a Catholic marriage is more happy and meaningful than any other kind of marriage, but of course I’m biased because I’m Catholic. 🙂
Thanks in advance for your answers!
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Hi johnsmith2025:

My wife and I are converts from the Protestant Church. We have spent part of our married lives as Protestant, and part as Catholic. I agree with your suspicions…Catholics would like to believe Catholic marriages are more happy and fulfilling than non Catholic ones, but we have experienced both, and can say there is no difference whatsoever between the two. Our married life as Protestants was no better and no worse than our married life as Catholics. Happiness and meaning I think depend more on the person that you marry than their faith tradition. At least that is my experience. Hope this helps.

Jacques
 
GAHere said:
What makes the difference is the sacramental nature of a Catholic marriage. This is what other marriages lack.
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A marriage does not have to be Catholic to be sacramental. Any valid marriage where both parties are baptized is sacramental.
 
I can offer a few thoughts based on personal experience and observation.

I am married to a non-Catholic - atheist/agnostic. I am quite lonely spiritually and would never advise anyone serious about their faith to marry outside of it. My husband is a lovely man, very supportive of my faith and me bringing the children up Catholic, but he doesn’t share this with us. I am pretty certain that I would be more fulfilled if my husband shared my faith.

I have a friend (practicing Catholic) who married a non Catholic, then got divorced and annulled, and then properly married a practicing Catholic. She says that sharing her faith with her husband is the most amazing thing and she can’t believe she had married a non Catholic.

I have had a number of atheist/agnostic friends over the years and many got married during that time. I found their views on marriage quite disturbing and sad I must say. There was never any sense of a deeper meaning of the relationship beyond feelings. People generally thought that falling out of love with their spouse would make marriage dead and that moving on would be better for everyone involved, especially the children. Being in love was seen as the main criteria of a good and happy marriage.All of these friends thought that mature love that married couples come to is somehow inferior to romantic feelings.

I’m not sure how something like that can be fulfilling.
 
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