Still trying to wrap my mind around what you are saying, Nun. Thanks for stretching it to it’s limit!
When I get confused, I like to use examples to make things more clear.
The thing is, there are so many meanings of the word “love” right now, as it has been for many centuries. So maybe my use of this word was not clear, sorry.
Let us now try to define “love” as I have tried to use it, and it is the definition given by the
Catechism for Christian love,
charity.
Charity is the theological virtue by which we love God above all things for his own sake, and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God. CCC 1822
Self-love is to love ourselves so that
the prerequisite of “to love our neighbors as ourselves for the love of God” can be achieved. From the definition itself, you cannot love someone else if you do not love yourself.
Self-love is also there so that
we can keep the mandates of charity, which is to obey God’s commandments.
Fruit of the Spirit and fullness of the Law, charity keeps the commandments of God and his Christ: “Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love.” CCC 1824
How can you obey the commandments of the Lord if you do not have the strength, physically and mentally as well as spiritually?
Finally, if you love yourself to the point that it is contrary to charity—that is, to the point that you are harming your relationship to God and your neighbor—can you call that “love”? Personally, I would call that self-“luv” because it is a false love, it cannot be part of Christian love that is charity, because Christian love
always points towards God and other men.
The practice of all the virtues is animated and inspired by charity, which “binds everything together in perfect harmony”; it is the form of the virtues; it articulates and orders them among themselves; it is the source and the goal of their Christian practice. Charity upholds and purifies our human ability to love, and raises it to the supernatural perfection of divine love. CCC 1827
Please consider this one taken from the current headlines:
Tiger Woods had several sexual affairs. Would you say that his sorted acts of cheating on his wife were not acts of self love? If not self love, then were they acts of self hatred?
Tiger Woods may in a way “loving himself”; he may be loving himself in a way that is called a “human love” as defined by CCC 1827 above, or what I would define as “luv”, but it is not the love which is defined by 1 Corinthians chapter 13. The
Catechism is clear that what St. Paul was defining in that part of the New Testament is charity:
“If I . . . have not charity,” says the Apostle, “I am nothing.” Whatever my privilege, service, or even virtue, “if I . . . have not charity, I gain nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:1-4). Charity is superior to all the virtues. It is the first of the theological virtues: “So faith, hope, charity abide, these three. But the greatest of these is charity.” (1 Corinthians 13:13) CCC 1826
It is now my turn to give my own example of self-love—that is, self love that is aligned with charity.
You are a fireman that is rescuing a person from a burning building; you are both still inside that said building. Suddenly you notice a burning beam falling towards the both of you, and you cannot jump out of the way nor can you use anything to shield yourselves from it. Do you use yourself as a shield for your rescuee from the beam, or do you use the rescuee to shield yourself?
The answer is
you use the rescuee to shield yourself. Now that may sound cruel, but think about it: if that beam hits you, the rescuer, and you become injured, can the person you are rescuing save the both of you? You are there to rescue that person, so he/she most probably cannot! Therefore it is better that the rescuee be put into harm’s way, for even though he/she can be more injured and even killed by that incident, at least you have a better chance of rescuing the both of you.
In a crisis situation, the rescuer’s safety is paramount.
