Is marriage sinful?

[Mintaka]

The other thing to remember is God judges us by what we do with what we’ve got.

If you have every opportunity in the world to do good and avoid evil, but you head straight for the evil and avoid doing good… well, you’re not going to have any reward in Heaven unless you repent.

If you are married with seventeen kids, hardly ever have time to think, but manage to get love for God and help for the poor (as well as care for your family) done somehow, even if it’s in little bite-sized pieces… obviously God is going to be pleased with you, and your reward will be great in Heaven.

He knows what is good for you, and He knows how hard you are trying to be good. If you are loving and living Him the best way you can, in the life you have, and if you keep trying to do better, God prefers that to anything else. If you aren’t living a good life, then obviously you need to make a change.

 

[Sky_River]

God tells man to be fruitful and multiply. Marriage is the means by which this is accomplished. God cannot command that which is sinful.

-Fr ACEGC

Is it unbibical to say marriage is holy? I red that Marriage isn’t consecrated to God-sex is an expression of affection-its not dedicated to a religious purpose.

 

[Mavzylor]

Thank you to everyone that dignified my question. Mintaka and AnneElizabeth, your responses were especially helpful. You seem to have had the best understanding of where I was coming from.

I’m sorry for my poor articulation. Admittedly, my title was misleading, as I never actually had the question “Is marriage sinful”, but just wanted to get people to actually read my more complex dilemma that I haven’t been able to get an answer to. I suppose my real question put as simply as possible was, “How can I, in good conscience, choose to get married knowing God would rather everyone be priests and nuns.” I knew this was a false dilemma, I just didn’t know how given all that I’d read recently.

Here are some citations of the reasons I gave for my dilemma as requested:

Isaiah 56:6 - “I will give [eunuchs] in my house, and within my walls, a place, and a name better than sons and daughters.”

Quotes from saints - patrickmadrid.blogspot.com/2010/05/which-is-superior-marriage-or.html

There are more bible passages, but I can’t remember. There are also far more quotes from saints. Also, as a heads up, I didn’t read anything else on that website besides the quotes. I don’t remember where I was originally reading about the “superiority” of the consecrated life. I think most of the ones I read originally came from Saint Augustine.

Also, it was quite discouraging that the first reply I received to a question on this website was essentially just, “go ask someone else”. As great as it would be if all priests were well equipped to answer such questions as mine, it simply isn’t true. Many priests are confused themselves about Catholic teaching, such as the infamous Father James Martin and many other priests in the news. I’ve even had a personal experience with a corrupt priest.

Nevertheless, there are also other reasons that I posed my question on a forum rather than consulting a priest face to face. I struggle with social anxiety that leads to even worse articulation and the acceptance of answers that don’t sufficiently address my question just to end the conversation. Best of all, I can now easily refer back to this thread anytime I need to.

 

[edward_george]

Is it unbibical to say marriage is holy? I red that Marriage isn’t consecrated to God-sex is an expression of affection-its not dedicated to a religious purpose.

Jesus elevated marriage to the dignity of a sacrament. So marriage absolutely is consecrated to God.

-Fr ACEGC

 

[Sky_River]

Jesus elevated marriage to the dignity of a sacrament. So marriage absolutely is consecrated to God.

-Fr ACEGC

What about people saying sex is holy?

To me that almost seems paradoxical.

 

[edward_george]

What about people saying sex is holy?

To me that almost seems paradoxical.

Sexual sin is unholy. Not all sex is sinful. When it’s done as an expression of love between spouses that is of itself ordered toward the generation of life, it’s far from sinful. It’s a sharing in the creative power of God. If it were evil, God wouldn’t have given it to us as the means by which we procreate. Do you think it’s evil to transmit life?

-Fr ACEGC

 

[Sky_River]

Sexual sin is unholy. Not all sex is sinful. When it’s done as an expression of love between spouses that is of itself ordered toward the generation of life, it’s far from sinful. It’s a sharing in the creative power of God. If it were evil, God wouldn’t have given it to us as the means by which we procreate. Do you think it’s evil to transmit life?

-Fr ACEGC

I find certain language disgusting.

 

[edward_george]

I find certain language disgusting.

I’m not sure what you mean. That’s not really a response to what I said. Please elaborate.

-Fr ACEGC

 

[twf]

No, God does not “prefer” the celibate life. But God does like sacrifices. The celibate life, when chosen for the right reasons, is a form of sacrifice. The religious celibate, chooses celibacy as a sacrifice so he/she can devote their lives towards prayer and the service of God and His people.

Think about it for a moment, logically. If God “prefers” celibacy then He would have been far more specific about that and there would be far fewer people on this planet. God told us to go forth and multiply. If God preferred celibacy, then God would have been contradicting Himself when He instructed us to go forth and multiply.

The “rewards in Heaven” are not just for the celibate, but for all those who make holy sacrifices for God and His people.

A married person can still perform sacrifices to God and pray for others. I’m sure the married, canonized Saints in Heaven are also receiving many “rewards in Heaven.”

I pray this helps.

Actually, celibacy IS superior to marriage. It is a higher state. Yes, God does prefer it. In fact, the Council of Trent condemned as heresy the proposition that marriage is equal to celibacy. That being said, marriage is a holy estate, a sacrament. Both are good. Both are holy. Neither are sinful, but celibacy is the higher calling. Few are called to it, but those who are can be more perfectly conformed to Christ.

 

[Sky_River]

I’m not sure what you mean. That’s not really a response to what I said. Please elaborate.

-Fr ACEGC

If it were evil, God wouldn’t have given it to us as the means by which we procreate. Do you think it’s evil to transmit life?

Like how are the ECF views on sex false when a lot of the language people use is disgusting?

A explanation on reconciling things doesn’t matter though.

 

[phil19034]

What about people saying sex is holy?

To me that almost seems paradoxical.

I don’t know if I would call sex “holy,” but it is sacred. It’s sacred because it should only happen within the confines of marriage and with willingness to partake with God in the act of creation.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I don’t know if I would call sex “holy,” but it is sacred. It’s sacred because it should only happen within the confines of marriage and with willingness to partake with God in the act of creation.

Sex is holy. If you don’t feel confortable with that then there’s a problem.

 

[phil19034]

Actually, celibacy IS superior to marriage. It is a higher state. Yes, God does prefer it. In fact, the Council of Trent condemned as heresy the proposition that marriage is equal to celibacy. That being said, marriage is a holy estate, a sacrament. Both are good. Both are holy. Neither are sinful, but celibacy is the higher calling. Few are called to it, but those who are can be more perfectly conformed to Christ.

Yes, celibacy is superior to marriage. And yes, it is a higher state. I agree 100%

But, I’m not a fan of saying God subjectively “prefers” celibacy. I think God prefers one or another based on each individual, dependent on their individual callings. If my God given calling is marriage, then I don’t believe God would prefer that I become a celibate. And vice versa.

Also, I’m sure there are plenty of people who miss their true calling to celibacy, the priesthood, and/or the religious life. In those situations, I’m sure God would have preferred celibacy.

God knows what’s best for each of us individually and would prefer the vocation he wants for each of us.

Anyway, I could be wrong, but that’s how I see it and why I don’t like the word “prefer.”

Also, let’s remember, the Council of Trent wasn’t written in English. The English words used are translations, and as we all know, English is notorious for having bad translations.

God Bless

 

[phil19034]

Sex is holy. If you don’t feel confortable with that then there’s a problem.

Please re-read my post. I called it sacred.

Sex is a sacred act that can be performed in both holy and unholy ways. The holiness of sex is dependent upon chastity, however, sex is ALWAYS sacred.

I pray I’m making sense.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Please re-read my post. I called it sacred.

Sex is a sacred act that can be performed in both holy and unholy ways. The holiness of sex is dependent upon chastity, however, sex is ALWAYS sacred.

I pray I’m making sense.

That is more clear. There’s a difference between I don’t know if sex is holy and sex can be holy in the right context. But yes, always sacred, but sometimes can be profaned…

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

Jesus elevated marriage to the dignity of a sacrament. So marriage absolutely is consecrated to God.

-Fr ACEGC

Except didn’t it take the Church a thousand years or so to “sacramentalize” marriage, prior to that time treating it as a civil matter and leaving it up to the state?

 

[AnneElizabeth]

Actually, celibacy IS superior to marriage. It is a higher state. Yes, God does prefer it. In fact, the Council of Trent condemned as heresy the proposition that marriage is equal to celibacy. That being said, marriage is a holy estate, a sacrament. Both are good. Both are holy. Neither are sinful, but celibacy is the higher calling. Few are called to it, but those who are can be more perfectly conformed to Christ.

When they say “higher state” do they mean ‘better than others’, or does it simply mean reaching supernatural (that is, heights that require graces larger than nature provides) heights?

I think you did explain that, but just for clarity’s sake.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

Thank you to everyone that dignified my question. Mintaka and AnneElizabeth, your responses were especially helpful. You seem to have had the best understanding of where I was coming from.

I’m sorry for my poor articulation. Admittedly, my title was misleading, as I never actually had the question “Is marriage sinful”, but just wanted to get people to actually read my more complex dilemma that I haven’t been able to get an answer to. I suppose my real question put as simply as possible was, “How can I, in good conscience, choose to get married knowing God would rather everyone be priests and nuns.” I knew this was a false dilemma, I just didn’t know how given all that I’d read recently.

Here are some citations of the reasons I gave for my dilemma as requested:

Isaiah 56:6 - “I will give [eunuchs] in my house, and within my walls, a place, and a name better than sons and daughters.”

Quotes from saints - patrickmadrid.blogspot.com/2010/05/which-is-superior-marriage-or.html

There are more bible passages, but I can’t remember. There are also far more quotes from saints. Also, as a heads up, I didn’t read anything else on that website besides the quotes. I don’t remember where I was originally reading about the “superiority” of the consecrated life. I think most of the ones I read originally came from Saint Augustine.

Also, it was quite discouraging that the first reply I received to a question on this website was essentially just, “go ask someone else”. As great as it would be if all priests were well equipped to answer such questions as mine, it simply isn’t true. Many priests are confused themselves about Catholic teaching, such as the infamous Father James Martin and many other priests in the news. I’ve even had a personal experience with a corrupt priest.

Nevertheless, there are also other reasons that I posed my question on a forum rather than consulting a priest face to face. I struggle with social anxiety that leads to even worse articulation and the acceptance of answers that don’t sufficiently address my question just to end the conversation. Best of all, I can now easily refer back to this thread anytime I need to.

It makes sense if you were reading some quotes from St. Augustine that you’d have some questions! A lot of people question what he meant by some of his writings. I have had similar questions. I’ve seen depictions of married couples in religious art as if they were brother and sister hardly touching, embracing more like nonchalant strangers rather than a close couple,… really a far cry from what we know and describe as love and marriage today.

Thank you also to get back to me on the quote. I don’t know anything about that off hand. All I can say is that Jesus calls those who follow Him 'Friends"…

 John 15:14    "…14You are My friends if you do what I command you. 15No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because everything I have learned from My Father I have made known to you..."

Is that better than son or daughter? Just a thought… do not quote me on that! I have no idea. Just came to mind. I know we are supposed to take what is in the Old Testament and The New Testament.

All I can say is keep searching. Remember also that not all of the saints were in perfect agreement… well, on smaller issues that is. Scripture retorts us to seek God.
I do say though, I hope you can overcome the fear to speaking with a priest despite having a run in with someone corrupt. Ask God to help you there. It is helpful to get as much insight from clergy as possible as not everyone knows everything.. Not all will be helpful, but it just might not be their facet to help with your specific inquiries, if anything, you can always make some friends along the way, glean new insights.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

Just another quote I found that may pertain to the Old Testament Isaiah quote you mentioned…

Mark 3:34-35

“Behold My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother....   "

 

[Sky_River]

I don’t know if I would call sex “holy,” but it is sacred. It’s sacred because it should only happen within the confines of marriage and with willingness to partake with God in the act of creation.

So sacred and holy are only practically the same bibically?