Is prejudice against your own race a sin?

[Xantippe]

Xantippe… Thank you for sharing your thoughts… I don’t understand why you claim that “If we were most attracted to people that looked exactly like us, it would be a genetic disaster.”? so what about nations with homogenous populations such as Hungary or China? do you consider those nations to be a genetic disaster? I wasn’t familiarized with the term “exogamy” so I looked it up in the dictionary and to me it sounds like exogamy is a bad thing! I mean, consider a Hispanic marrying a Chinese person… do you think the Chinese person will convert to Catholicism? I rarely hear of Chinese Catholics. Now, my sister has married two white men (as it is know, a great percentage of the white population in the U.S. is protestant…) , both men very polite and nice… however her first husband was pretty much a protestant who didn’t take his faith seriously… now her new husband is catholic but he doesn’t seem to take his faith seriously as a result they rarely attend mass… so my sister’s children aren’t being raised in the catholic faith (but at least they have already received some sacraments)

There are a lot of very bad genetic conditions that afflict small populations that don’t marry out much.

jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Health/genetics.html

cbsnews.com/news/genetic-disorders-hit-amish-hard/

The Chinese, fortunately for them, aren’t a small group. I don’t know about Hungary.

 

[Xantippe]

And a small percentage is crazy about Eastern European men. Eeek.

My husband was recently told that he looks like Daniel Craig.

Some of us like that sort of thing.

 

[Xantippe]

By the way, not all white people have blond hair. In fact, only a minority of white people have blond hair and it is especially rare among white people who are adults. I am talking about natural blonds, not the bottle blonds.

Yeah, and blue or green eyes aren’t a given, either.

My family has a lot of Scandinavian ancestry, but blonde hair isn’t even that common among my blood relatives that are 100% Swedish. We’re mostly just medium brown, with 3-4 years in childhood with blonde hair.

 

[bitterhope]

Yeah, and blue or green eyes aren’t a given, either.

My family has a lot of Scandinavian ancestry, but blonde hair isn’t even that common among my blood relatives that are 100% Swedish. We’re mostly just medium brown, with 3-4 years in childhood with blonde hair.

What we as Americans view as blond and what Latin Americans view as blond are not necessarily the same thing. In Mexico, anyone with hair lighter than very dark brown or black is called blond. What we would call brown or light brown is called blond, not just what we call blond. Lighter skin and eyes are also called blond. There are gueros and there are bien gueros. Yes, they have varying degrees of blondness. My mom was tickled to find out that she is a blond according to my in laws. She’s got auburn hair and green eyes.

 

[Xantippe]

**What we as Americans view as blond and what Latin Americans view as blond are not necessarily the same thing. **In Mexico, anyone with hair lighter than very dark brown or black is called blond. What we would call brown or light brown is called blond, not just what we call blond. Lighter skin and eyes are also called blond. There are gueros and there are bien gueros. Yes, they have varying degrees of blondness. My mom was tickled to find out that she is a blond according to my in laws. She’s got auburn hair and green eyes.

Ah, that’s a very good point.

My good buddy is from a Southern European ancestry South American family, has an Anglo husband, and she says that her youngest child’s hair is blonde. I would call that color medium brown.

Medium brown is not that favored aesthetically in the US–I think the preference is for a truly light blonde or a really dark brown (see, for example, Katie Perry or Zooey Deschanel). The terminology for the in-between shades isn’t very flattering–dirty blonde, dishwater blonde, mouse brown, etc.

 

[bitterhope]

Ah, that’s a very good point.

My good buddy is from a Southern European ancestry South American family, has an Anglo husband, and she says that her youngest child’s hair is blonde. I would call that color medium brown.

Medium brown is not that favored aesthetically in the US–I think the preference is for a truly light blonde or a really dark brown (see, for example, Katie Perry or Zooey Deschanel). The terminology for the in-between shades isn’t very flattering–dirty blonde, dishwater blonde, mouse brown, etc.

Yep. They think of it as anything that looks more European and less Indian. My husband’s family as far back as anyone has any memory or stories has never had a “blond” so when he told them he was marrying an American they were thinking I would give them a blond finally. When a lady that looked as Indian as her showed up with her son, my mother in law was initially very disappointed but she does admit she was much more comfortable with me than she would have been with a white lady. She would have been ashamed and afraid to talk to me thinking I was better than her. That’s why I don’t think it’s so much hate as it is fear, shame, and wanting better for their kids. They want the descendants to be accepted into society when they never were.

There is a lady that I met in their town. She was known as “la guera” and she was one of the few ladies that had been to school and had a good job. She was lighter skinned with green eyes and had freckles but was nothing even close to being what I would call blond.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I know several Hispanics like the op talks about. And they can have feelings ranging from guilt, pride, or shame based on the actions of others. The angriest person I know about illegal immigration is someone who is a legal successful Hispanic businessman.

Hatered is a sin. But I’m not sure racial predjudice is.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

There’s may be a healthy tendency toward exogamy.

If we were most attracted to people that looked exactly like us, it would be a genetic disaster.

My husband is Eastern European and finds Eastern European women unattractive. Meanwhile, a large percentage of US men is crazy about Eastern European women.

It isn’t so much US men think Eastern European women are very attractive as they think of them as very feminine and docile.

Hi.

PhiloMed thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts with me/us. So your children won’t have the opportunity of learning Arabic? That’s pretty sad! Arabic is an important language spoken by several nations.

Xantippe… Thank you for sharing your thoughts… I don’t understand why you claim that “If we were most attracted to people that looked exactly like us, it would be a genetic disaster.”? so what about nations with homogenous populations such as Hungary or China? do you consider those nations to be a genetic disaster? I wasn’t familiarized with the term “exogamy” so I looked it up in the dictionary and to me it sounds like exogamy is a bad thing! I mean, consider a Hispanic marrying a Chinese person… do you think the Chinese person will convert to Catholicism? I rarely hear of Chinese Catholics. Now, my sister has married two white men (as it is know, a great percentage of the white population in the U.S. is protestant…) , both men very polite and nice… however her first husband was pretty much a protestant who didn’t take his faith seriously… now her new husband is catholic but he doesn’t seem to take his faith seriously as a result they rarely attend mass… so my sister’s children aren’t being raised in the catholic faith (but at least they have already received some sacraments)

CthgeDelendaEst you’re right, “Hispanic” is not a race, that’s why I quoted that word in my original post, however in the U.S. , some people think that “Hispanic” is a race… I don’t really know about my family’s race, but I don’t think we are white since none of us has blonde hair or blue /green eyes.

SuperLuigi, thank you for sharing your thoughts… as I said my family is only prejudiced but they don’t act upon those hateful prejudice thoughts , is this a sin? would it be a mortal or a venial sin?

Actually, China is only 90% Han, furthermore if you look at X Chromosomes then Southern Chinese are fairly different from Northern Chinese.

 

[Xantippe]

It isn’t so much US men think Eastern European women are very attractive as they think of them as very feminine and docile.

I told that to my husband (who is from there) last night and he said “HUH?” I forget his exact phrasing after that the general idea was that that idea couldn’t be more mistaken. You don’t survive two World Wars fought and communism by being docile. I suggest that anybody who disagrees try to get on a bus in a major Russian city downtown at rush hour. See how docile Russian women are then…

Here follows some broad brush generalization. Apologies in advance!

I’ve thought about this, and I think the mistake that is being made is to assume that the qualities that Eastern European women often have (scrupulous attention to personal appearance, good basic domestic skills, strong cultural tradition of hospitality and a love of romance) are exactly the same things as the qualities that make for a happy marriage. (You may think that American women love romance, too, but Russian women are off the charts in my experience–they are easily 3X more romantic than American women.) There’s some overlap, I think, but it’s not a complete overlap. There are certain important qualities missing from that set of qualities that the average Eastern European woman has. For one thing, I think that there’s a much weaker tradition of cooperation between spouses in Eastern Europe than there is in a normal middle class American family–because Eastern European women expect to have to do everything themselves at home, they are actually less likely than middle class American women to accept male meddling in the domestic sphere. Also, very small families are the norm–a middle class American woman is much more likely than a middle class Eastern European woman to have more than two children.

I have to rush off, but I have to note that American male denigration of American women and putting foreign women on pedestals is yet another example of prejudice against one’s own kind. It seems to be a pretty universal phenomenon.

 

[Sarcelle]

I told that to my husband (who is from there) last night and he said “HUH?” I forget his exact phrasing after that the general idea was that that idea couldn’t be more mistaken. You don’t survive two World Wars fought and communism by being docile. I suggest that anybody who disagrees try to get on a bus in a major Russian city downtown at rush hour. See how docile Russian women are then…

Here follows some broad brush generalization. Apologies in advance!

I’ve thought about this, and I think the mistake that is being made is to assume that the qualities that Eastern European women often have (scrupulous attention to personal appearance, good basic domestic skills, strong cultural tradition of hospitality and a love of romance) are exactly the same things as the qualities that make for a happy marriage. (You may think that American women love romance, too, but Russian women are off the charts in my experience–they are easily 3X more romantic than American women.) There’s some overlap, I think, but it’s not a complete overlap. There are certain important qualities missing from that set of qualities that the average Eastern European woman has. For one thing, I think that there’s a much weaker tradition of cooperation between spouses in Eastern Europe than there is in a normal middle class American family–because Eastern European women expect to have to do everything themselves at home, they are actually less likely than middle class American women to accept male meddling in the domestic sphere. Also, very small families are the norm–a middle class American woman is much more likely than a middle class Eastern European woman to have more than two children.

I have to rush off, but I have to note that American male denigration of American women and putting foreign women on pedestals is yet another example of prejudice against one’s own kind. It seems to be a pretty universal phenomenon.

It’s not just American men who have a prejudice against the female half that shares their nationality. I’ve seen this in men of other nationalities.

I guess familiarity breeds contempt.

 

[Allegra]

I have a friend from Puerto Rico who was raised by parents who put a lot of sock in their “whiteness”. She was raised to believe that her family was 100% of Caucasian descent and was instructed to never put “Hispanic” or “Latino” as her race. This was really confusing to pretty much everyone else as it was really obvious that they had at least some darker-complexioned blood in them as well. But it was really important to them. When my friend became an adult she eventually found a mirror and figured out that this was complete BS and now she is more interested in embracing her heritage. Her fiancée is Mexican and they have a daughter and it’s really sad how her parents think less of her daughter than her cousins because they are “white” and she is half-Mexican.

 

[bitterhope]

I have a friend from Puerto Rico who was raised by parents who put a lot of sock in their “whiteness”. She was raised to believe that her family was 100% of Caucasian descent and was instructed to never put “Hispanic” or “Latino” as her race. This was really confusing to pretty much everyone else as it was really obvious that they had at least some darker-complexioned blood in them as well. But it was really important to them. When my friend became an adult she eventually found a mirror and figured out that this was complete BS and now she is more interested in embracing her heritage. Her fiancée is Mexican and they have a daughter and it’s really sad how her parents think less of her daughter than her cousins because they are “white” and she is half-Mexican.

Puerto Ricans notoriously despise Mexicans. It’s pretty common. It’s sad that anyone feels the way so many people do with race, color or nationality. Hopefully someday everyone will be judged not by where their ancestors came from and instead by the person they are. I’ve got cousins that live in the reservation that call us their white cousins simply because my grandfather on moms side was from Ireland. We are 3/4 native–enough to be tribal members of two tribes!–but we are looked down on by some relatives as half breeds. One day I hope no one cares what anyone else “is” and instead cares about the person themselves. It happens across all racial groups and isn’t really specific to just one. I have a white friend that wishes she were black. She dies her hair darker and tans herself all year. She tells people she’s ashamed of being white and wishes she was at least mixed. I don’t know why there’s so much focus on external looks and not enough on things that really matter. Someday maybe it will change.

 

[Xantippe]

I was just watching a Polish music video about the apparently major social problem of tomato soup getting served at home Monday-Saturday, with only a little relief on Sunday with chicken soup (which then gets used to make the tomato soup). It’s served by a slatternly Polish harridan (played by a guy) who seems not to have gotten the “docile and feminine” memo.

thehistoricalhouse.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/pomidorowa-song.html

The tomato soup looks fabulous to me, but people don’t appreciate what they’ve got.

 

[Allegra]

Puerto Ricans notoriously despise Mexicans. It’s pretty common. It’s sad that anyone feels the way so many people do with race, color or nationality. Hopefully someday everyone will be judged not by where their ancestors came from and instead by the person they are. I’ve got cousins that live in the reservation that call us their white cousins simply because my grandfather on moms side was from Ireland. We are 3/4 native–enough to be tribal members of two tribes!–but we are looked down on by some relatives as half breeds. One day I hope no one cares what anyone else “is” and instead cares about the person themselves. It happens across all racial groups and isn’t really specific to just one. I have a white friend that wishes she were black. She dies her hair darker and tans herself all year. She tells people she’s ashamed of being white and wishes she was at least mixed. I don’t know why there’s so much focus on external looks and not enough on things that really matter. Someday maybe it will change.

I didn’t know that. I only know one Puerto Rican family but I know scores of Mexican families. Almost 30% of the students I teach identify as “Hispanic/Latino”. I can’t imagine why Puerto Ricans would categorically despise them except maybe they themselves are tired of being asked if they are Mexican?

 

[Allegra]

I was just watching a Polish music video about the apparently major social problem of tomato soup getting served at home Monday-Saturday, with only a little relief on Sunday with chicken soup (which then gets used to make the tomato soup). It’s served by a slatternly Polish harridan (played by a guy) who seems not to have gotten the “docile and feminine” memo.

thehistoricalhouse.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/pomidorowa-song.html

The tomato soup looks fabulous to me, but people don’t appreciate what they’ve got.

That guy needs some grilled cheese sandwiches!

 

[Xantippe]

That guy needs some grilled cheese sandwiches!

Funny!

Yeah, I was watching it thinking, if you don’t like it, why don’t YOU make something different?

 

[bitterhope]

I didn’t know that. I only know one Puerto Rican family but I know scores of Mexican families. Almost 30% of the students I teach identify as “Hispanic/Latino”. I can’t imagine why Puerto Ricans would categorically despise them except maybe they themselves are tired of being asked if they are Mexican?

That’s actually a big part of it. They also tend to think they are “better” than Mexicans because of the relationship between the US and Puerto Rico. They don’t need anything special to immigrate so there are no illegal immigrants from Puerto Rico like there is from other Latin countries. Of course this is very stereotypical and not all Puerto Ricans feel that way. I know several married to Mexicans.

And to be fair, many Mexicans don’t like Hondurans, Guatemalans, Salvadorans, etc. and it seems like it’s the same for other Latin American nationalities. It’s just plain silly. It has as much to do with the way other countries speak Spanish as it does with the way they look. But I guess we do it here too. People either love or hate a southern accent, cringe or grin at a Brooklyn accent, that kind of thing.

 

[bitterhope]

Funny!

Yeah, I was watching it thinking, if you don’t like it, why don’t YOU make something different?

Yeah really! My husband would just go grab my skillet and fix dinner himself. He’s a great cook. We all love Papi’s dinner but his breakfasts are the best!

 

[DarkLight]

Funny I actually have a friend who has the opposite problem. He’s a mexican immigrant to america and people find it really hard to believe that he’s hispanic, because he’s totally white. He gets pretty frustrated when people won’t believe he really is mexican.

 

[Sarcelle]

That’s actually a big part of it. They also tend to think they are “better” than Mexicans because of the relationship between the US and Puerto Rico. They don’t need anything special to immigrate so there are no illegal immigrants from Puerto Rico like there is from other Latin countries. Of course this is very stereotypical and not all Puerto Ricans feel that way. I know several married to Mexicans.

And to be fair, many Mexicans don’t like Hondurans, Guatemalans, Salvadorans, etc. and it seems like it’s the same for other Latin American nationalities. It’s just plain silly. It has as much to do with the way other countries speak Spanish as it does with the way they look. But I guess we do it here too. People either love or hate a southern accent, cringe or grin at a Brooklyn accent, that kind of thing.

They don’t like Hondurans?

My best friend in high school was from Honduras and I was especially close to her mom. She was like a second mom to me.

Anyway this does not surprise me. From what I hear, there is no love lost between Hispanic groups. A lot of Cubans I know don’t like Puerto Ricans.