Is sex before marriage truly immoral in EVERY SINGLE circumstance?

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Marie_Graham

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Here is what is said :

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:1-40

I agree that there must be a pre-relationship courtship that may last several month without sex but once you truly feel in love and want to be with that person forever, I truly have a hard time understanding how it is immoral to have sex before marriage.

To be perfectly honest I think this whole rule of “no sex before marraige” is not an absolute. I think that when you have the intention to love and to stay together and to have children with the person you are with, to me I don’t think there is sexual immorality.

But since I don’t want to lean on my own understanding I would very much appreciate some of your insights and opinions.

Thank you very much in advance and have a wonderful day 🙂
Marie
 
Marie_Graham said:
Here is what is said :

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:1-40

I agree that there must be a pre-relationship courtship that may last several month without sex but once you truly feel in love and want to be with that person forever, I truly have a hard time understanding how it is immoral to have sex before marriage.

To be perfectly honest I think this whole rule of “no sex before marraige” is not an absolute. I think that when you have the intention to love and to stay together and to have children with the person you are with, to me I don’t think there is sexual immorality.

But since I don’t want to lean on my own understanding I would very much appreciate some of your insights and opinions.

Thank you very much in advance and have a wonderful day 🙂
Marie
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Yes.
 
Marie_Graham said:
Here is what is said :

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:1-40

I agree that there must be a pre-relationship courtship that may last several month without sex but once you truly feel in love and want to be with that person forever, I truly have a hard time understanding how it is immoral to have sex before marriage.

To be perfectly honest I think this whole rule of “no sex before marraige” is not an absolute. I think that when you have the intention to love and to stay together and to have children with the person you are with, to me I don’t think there is sexual immorality.

But since I don’t want to lean on my own understanding I would very much appreciate some of your insights and opinions.

Thank you very much in advance and have a wonderful day 🙂
Marie
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Isaiah 55:8-9

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.

9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

So, your view that “sex in some circumstances outside of marraige seems perfectly acceptable and not immoral” means your thinking is just normal human thinking, like we all think. And of course, also: wrong! 😃
 
Marie_Graham said:
I agree that there must be a pre-relationship courtship that may last several month without sex but once you truly feel in love and want to be with that person forever, I truly have a hard time understanding how it is immoral to have sex before marriage.

To be perfectly honest I think this whole rule of “no sex before marraige” is not an absolute. I think that when you have the intention to love and to stay together and to have children with the person you are with, to me I don’t think there is sexual immorality.
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A few thoughts:

a) Feeling in love can be decieving. Feelings are not a firm basis for a lifelong commitment.

b) Once you decide you do want to make a lifelong commitment - great - get married. Then have sex. That’s quite straightforward. That’s the way to do it.

c) Children are the natural consequence of sex. Children deserve a stable family, a mother and father who are committed to each other and to them. This is achieved through marriage.

d) How may couples think they will get married, intend to get married, get engaged, etc and then don’t go through with it? Lots. If they all have sex, based on your justification above, then they all have sex with someone who isn’t and doesn’t become their spouse. Because of the high possibility of this, people simply shouldn’t have sex before they marry.

So yes, it is always immoral.
 
underacloud said:
A few thoughts:

a) Feeling in love can be decieving. Feelings are not a firm basis for a lifelong commitment.

b) Once you decide you do want to make a lifelong commitment - great - get married. Then have sex. That’s quite straightforward. That’s the way to do it.

c) Children are the natural consequence of sex. Children deserve a stable family, a mother and father who are committed to each other and to them. This is achieved through marriage.

d) How may couples think they will get married, intend to get married, get engaged, etc and then don’t go through with it? Lots. If they all have sex, based on your justification above, then they all have sex with someone who isn’t and doesn’t become their spouse. Because of the high possibility of this, people simply shouldn’t have sex before they marry.

So yes, it is always immoral.
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And being able to give that gift of yourself to your spouse…and no other…is something that is priceless but high undervalued in this world.
 
The problem I see is that say you do start having sex, you’ll get pregnant and HAVE to get married when not prepared.
 
Lots of couples ‘intend’ to stay together, have sex, then break up.

That’s why you wait. Intending and doing are not the same.
 
Short answer is Yes, it is always immoral.

Without the covenant of marriage, there is no guarantee that the couple will stay together. Marriage is a life-long commitment before God. If they had sex before they were married, and the woman got pregnant, the man could still back out, because he is not committed to the woman in the same way as if he were married.

Even if you disagree, you still have to submit to the Church’s teachings, because the teachings of the Church are true. Giving into one’s personal feelings and interpretations is what led to Protestantism, which divided the Body of Christ.
 
Marie_Graham said:
Here is what is said :

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:1-40

I agree that there must be a pre-relationship courtship that may last several month without sex but once you truly feel in love and want to be with that person forever, I truly have a hard time understanding how it is immoral to have sex before marriage.

To be perfectly honest I think this whole rule of “no sex before marraige” is not an absolute. I think that when you have the intention to love and to stay together and to have children with the person you are with, to me I don’t think there is sexual immorality.

But since I don’t want to lean on my own understanding I would very much appreciate some of your insights and opinions.

Thank you very much in advance and have a wonderful day 🙂
Marie
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Even if there is no shadow of a doubt in either the man or woman that they will be together and marry, they have no right to have sex before they are married. It is still sin.

Actually to show self-control and obedience to the law of God is the way we demonstrate that we love God and each other in the right way. God’s grace makes this possible.

If chastity is not practiced prior to the marriage, then what will happen if one partner is ill for a few months and has to recuperate from an illness?

God has his reasons for giving the Church the authority to teach us. He wants us to be with Him forever, and to grow in love of Him, which in turn will aid us in loving our spouses as we ought.
 
Dorothy said:
Even if there is no shadow of a doubt in either the man or woman that they will be together and marry, they have no right to have sex before they are married. It is still sin.
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To further this, let’s look at an analogy.

You are job searching, and you finally get hired for a job, but you don’t start for a couple of weeks because they need to get things ready. Do you still start work right then, because you know you have the job? No. You don’t start your job until the designated day.

Similarly, you cannot partake in things designed for marriage until you are in fact married.
 
Is sex before marriage truly immoral in EVERY SINGLE circumstance?

uh, yeah. Pretty much.
Not that you can’t be forgiven for making a mistake and praying and working diligently that it won’t happen again…

🙂
 
Look at it this way. You could get a hold of a package of unblessed communion wafers and eat them, arguing that they are no different from the blessed wafers, but the fact remains that without the sacrament for which they were intended, there’s nothing there but physical matter and human sentiment. Sex outside the sacrament of marriage is the same. We believe that God is literally present in His sacraments and that they literally change what is merely physical into the spiritual made tangible.
 
Kensho said:
Look at it this way. You could get a hold of a package of unblessed communion wafers and eat them, arguing that they are no different from the blessed wafers, but the fact remains that without the sacrament for which they were intended, there’s nothing there but physical matter and human sentiment. Sex outside the sacrament of marriage is the same. We believe that God is literally present in His sacraments and that they literally change what is merely physical into the spiritual made tangible.
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Oo… I like this 👍
 
Marie_Graham said:
Is sex before marriage truly immoral in EVERY SINGLE circumstance?
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According to the Catholic Church, the answer is yes.
I agree that there must be a pre-relationship courtship that may last several month without sex but once you truly feel in love and want to be with that person forever, I truly have a hard time understanding how it is immoral to have sex before marriage.
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To be perfectly honest I think this whole rule of “no sex before marraige” is not an absolute. I think that when you have the intention to love and to stay together and to have children with the person you are with, to me I don’t think there is sexual immorality.
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IMHO, you’ve phrased your post in a manner that reveals the way you view sexual relations. That would be “sex” equaling “pleasure.” You’re post is completely void of the mention of the procreative part of sex, and that is an essential part of the way the Church views conjugal relations.

Why not ask the question as “Is 'having children before marriage* ’ truly immoral in EVERY SINGLE circumstance?”

Would you answer be the same?

*Note: by having children before marriage, I am not referring to adoption.
 
To my understanding , one of the main reasons if not the main reason the church says you should have sex only in the framework of marriage is for the benefit of the children that may be produced, so that they have a better chance at a stable and positive environment to be raised in since the pleasures of sex comes with the responsibility of caring for the life created.
 
Let’s say we could wave a magic wand and have everyone on the planet have sex with only their spouse. Do you know what would happen?

We would wipe out teen pregnancy and all the abortions. That is not a small matter.

We wouldn’t have single parent families (OK, some, because spouses die) that mostly make up the people living in poverty. That is not a small matter. Who wouldn’t want to see a decrease in poverty?

We would wipe out all of the sexually transmitted diseases, which has exploded since people could take the pill and have sex, without concern of pregnancy. AIDS would no longer be a problem. Sterility from sexually transmitted diseases would be gone, and also some cancers. How huge is that?

All of these ‘curses’ on society would be wiped out because of a single commandment obeyed. What does that tell you? God’s design brings blessing upon individuals, families, and nations. To disregard this commandment brings chaos, destruction, illnesses, poverty, broken families.
 
If all these other excellent arguments fail, then at least don’t have sex before marriage as an act of self-preservation. Sex = Baggage, before marriage. It is the reason why people stay in relationships that are not good, feel a false sense of being close to another person, feel permanence where there is no permanence.

When you meet the right person, you will want to give him all of yourself, especially a whole, intact heart. If you are a normal, healthy emotionally-attached person, each time you have sex before marriage, you give a piece of your heart away, and each time you break up, that part of your heart scars over. When you finally get to that guy you want to marry, what sort of heart will you be offering him?

Sex is not everything. If you feel like you can’t have a relationship without it, then that is a reflection of something not good in your perception of relationships.
 
Marie_Graham said:
Here is what is said :
1 Corinthians 7:1-40

I agree that there must be a pre-relationship courtship that may last several month without sex but once you truly feel in love and want to be with that person forever, I truly have a hard time understanding how it is immoral to have sex before marriage.

To be perfectly honest I think this whole rule of “no sex before marraige” is not an absolute. I think that when you have the intention to love and to stay together and to have children with the person you are with, to me I don’t think there is sexual immorality.
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Umm but are you one in Gods eyes if not married? Is the feeling of love greater than the sacrifice required in love? Is the intimate act of sex binding if it’s ‘intention to love’, rather than commitment to love? I have no doubt 2 unmarried people can love each other as much as married couples. That being said, sex with a spouse is made sacred by a vow you make not only with your husband, but your love for God.

ps: save me a piece of wedding cake, and don’t get cold feet 😛
 
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