Is sex overrated?

  • Thread starter Thread starter joyful
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I can tell from the original post that the OP is not a teenage boy. When males enter puberty, the biological urge to mate becomes all but irresistible, and it requires all one’s moral strength to sublimate it. Sex is certainly overrated to the point of obsession in the popular media, but that takes nothing away from the fact that it is a powerful expression of profound love between two people.
 
ditto. there’s nothing great about using a person even if it is consensual. Use is the opposite of love in relationships. recreational sex is merely false advertising because in the end people get a lot less than what they deserve.
AdamP88 said:
40.png
QwertyGirl:
I would say it isn’t over-rated in either situation. Just different.
Click to expand...
To be honest I’d say sex without commitment is overrated and over valued by society, and sex within marriage is under-rated and seen as stale or unexciting. The truth is, it’s anything but. Society tells us that sex with lots of different partners is exciting and fun, but tying yourself to one person is BOO…RING!

It’s the other way around in reality. We are designed to be intimate with one person for life, and let me tell you from experience, that’s where all the excitement is at. We are not designed to treat sex as casual or just another pleasurable activity.
Click to expand...
 
Here in family life, there is always a few who would derail the topic. It is practically their hobby.
 
If they were divorcing due to infidelity or mistrust,I can’t imagine that they would want to be sleeping with them😬.
Maybe if they were wanting to divorcing due to financial stressors etc.

(sorry OP).
 
Last edited:
Of course they would not. Nobody in this thread suggested it. But apparently, people do not read the posts well enough, or cannot read between the lines. Maybe it is awkwardnessnor something.
 
Ummm, recreational sex exists in marriage, or at least it should! Not every encounter is going to be generative. That means a LOT of opportunities to be loving, playful, athletic, or animalistic for the sheer pleasure of it. Properly done, sex can be as varied as the moods held by the couple engaging in it.

I don’t understand these perceptions that marital sex isn’t about physicality and enjoyment; that it’s a foregone conclusion that it becomes mechanistic, obligatory, and boring. Maybe that’s reality for some people, but I certainly don’t welcome that attitude in my life. Loving your spouse means loving and celebrating all of him/her, including in reveling in the gift of sexuality that you share.
 
Last edited:
Maybe the sex can be exciting and passionate but for me personally (even though I’m only a Catholic baptised but not really following or attending church) I don’t want to have sex with someone that I’m not in a committed relationship with.
I understand the Catholic Church talks about only in marriage but I believe also in sex in committed loving relationships.
It seems to me that women are often less accepting then some men of one night stands because forming that emotional connection is important to us.

OP:sex is not overrated but you probably are also getting fed some “distorted messages” about it too in society.
 
Last edited:
“Over-rated” is hard to respond to.
There are those for whom medical, or emotional issues make marital sex painful. The thing they so looked forward to becomes a source of frustration and sadness. Discussions of how beautiful and wonderful married sex is can bring up their invisible crosses they may or may not have shared with anyone.

Should the Church stop proclaiming the beauty of procreative and unitive marital sex? Ceratinly not, but a lot of us could use more caution who we discuss it with in real life.
 
It’s definitly important that a person takes care of those emotional issues before bringing baggage into their marriage. As for physical, I’m sure seeing a gyno would help? Some women are more sensitive in that area but seeing a doctor and staying healthy with exercise should reduce the risk of those issues
 
joyful said:
It’s definitly important that a person takes care of those emotional issues before bringing baggage into their marriage. As for physical, I’m sure seeing a gyno would help? Some women are more sensitive in that area but seeing a doctor and staying healthy with exercise should reduce the risk of those issues
Click to expand...
People with sexual trauma in their past could still be called to a vocation of marriage and it cannot neccessarily be fully “dealt with” before marrying or sex can bring up surpressed trauma they had blocked.

Did you just suggest exercise? 😆 Idk maybe kegels.

You mean well and there is truth in what you say. People need not remain in pain, helpessness and shame. There are kinds of help.
 
Well they should definitely seek counseling of some sort. Going into marriage ignoring things in people’s past is setting yourself up for more trouble. There is always possibility of healing. No one is a lost cause. God never gives up on us. People who have been assaulted can get married but need to get spiritual and psychological healing. Speaking as someone who has lived with a PTSD victim I wish that person had done so, sadly many people live in denial
 
Millions of people marry who do not love each other or do not even know each other, arranged marriages still exist even in Christian communities in other parts of the world. Women who are often sexually abused in these relationships are stuck there and cannot leave due to societal pressures or they have children to raise
 
What I meant by love each other was beyond the superficial butterflies kind of thing, but my point was that not everyone who marries love each other but people who truly love each other will get married, unless someone else was forcing them not to
 
Last edited:
On forced or abusive marriages, I certainly agree. However, arranged marriages sometimes end up being wonderful marriages. I’m not advocating for arranged marriages, but some of them turn out well.
 
I think the answer to that question is different for every person. For some of us, the answer ends up being an emphatic NO–it’s everything one could’ve hoped for. But plenty of perfectly sensible people who have nothing wrong with them would disagree.
 
I think a lot of this depends on who is asking the question and who is responding. Specifically, factor in age, marital status, and sex (male or female). I remarked to one middle age female poster in another thread by a twenty-something male posting about the difficulties of finding a Catholic spouse that the OP in the thread was a healthy young male and that she should stop trying to turn him into an old lady.
 
True. Many traditional cultures today still have arranged marriages. I have said this many times, I wonder why so many people in the liberal Western society who have all the freedom they want, still get divorced from their spouse they themselves chose, while those in so called restrictive cultures and in arranged marriages actually are happy people. Maybe it’s not the freedom or lack thereof that is the problem, it’s the attitude and mindset.
 
CD45 said:
I knew some women in my single days who did not want commitment—just a good time.
Click to expand...
I don’t think that is true of anyone. We just aren’t wired that way. Everyone wants to be loved and that desire can become very distorted by sin, but I really don’t believe that anyone wil be truly happy just having “a good time” in that way.
 
I think, they are referring to casual sex. It’s like, you have to have sex for a right of passage. It has turned into a god. Equipment can be bought, pills to improve function. There are perversions performed,looking for that great orgasm in the sky. GROAN!
We were meant to be chaste till death unless married. We messed that up.
Yes, marital sex between husband and wife is beautiful. Sometimes,it feels like a prayer. DONT LAUGH
GOD BLESS
TWEEDLEALICE
 
joyful said:
Never married, never had sex, I know nothing about either…
Click to expand...
In some of your other threads you claim you have children. Your profile here says you are a father of two. Still other threads are about having a crush on a friend studying for the priesthood or the guys you see on Catholic Match. What is going on here?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top