Is the female altar server at my parish sinning?

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I think that I’d need more detail about what she’s posting before I’d feel comfortable forming an opinion.
 
Limoncello4021 said:
Take her out for coffee and gently discuss the matter.
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You are advising a 36-year-old married man (I presume he is married since he mentions “one of my daughters”) to invite a teenage girl out for coffee for the purpose of discussing her views on sexual morality. Hmmmm. I wonder what his wife would say about that.
 
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Well that’s a super cynical answer. We are all called to speak the truth in love, and many times a kind word of direction to a young person confused about the faith can go a very long way. This is not a post about the behaviors of all one’s neighbors and colleagues but about one person that the op is concerned about and who has chosen some prominent positions in the local church. Sorry, we cannot merely say “it is not my business” when our church and our culture are in deep trouble.
 
Exactly! As Catholics it’s our duty to do apostolate. If we simply dismiss everything as “it’s none of my business” then that leads to moral relativism taking over, where anything goes, and then we’re in big trouble.
 
I’m pretty shocked, both by the thinly veiled accusations being made against you, and the excuses being made for her.

You said she’s a catechist, so her displaying dissent against basic Catholic teachings is troubling, and she should know better.

I don’t know if I have good advice for you to proceed. If I knew the pastor to be good and orthodox, then I would probably just bring it up with him, having already tried to gently correct her to no avail.
 
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Another question is what is she actually posting that OP find’s so offensive? Is it that LGBTQ+ shouldn’t be suffering discrimination? Or is she encouraging hook-ups? Is she encouraging that each woman should have a choice? Or is she asking people to send money to Planned Parenthood?

I have found on CAF, sometimes what one person finds completely contrary to Church teaching is based not always on what the Church actually teaches.

Just a reminder that content and context are always important.
 
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Sadly I’m not too surprised. Many Catholics have fallen into the trap of “it’s not of our business” or “we need to change with the times.” And the veiled accusations are just a way to put me on the defensive and deflect from the real issue. I won’t fall for it.
 
I’m struggling with a 36 year old man trying to police a 19 year old girl he doesn’t know that well (per his description) about her social media on social media, when they’re both catechists- but we don’t know that either of them are either good or bad at that (we don’t have any info there; her social media posts may have zero bearing on her ability to faithfully pass on Church teaching, and complaining here doesn’t vouch for his). I just find the entire conversation, all of it, just seems out of line to me. I’ll take leave of this thread now. 👋
 
Posts with phrases like “mind your own uterus” and ones with how cool it is that sidewalks are painted with the rainbow colours, even posts of “progressive” churches that have painted their stairways with the rainbow (LGBTQ) colours. These are posts and memes she’s shared, nothing she actually typed out herself.
 
OK. Well there is certainly nothing in the Church teaching I know of that precludes rainbows. There is nothing wrong with that. Rainbows are a message of inclusiveness for many. The Church actually encourages that.

As far as mind your own uterus, that isn’t so terrible, either. Of course Catholics would like each person to mind their own uterus in the way the Church would like for them to. I know plenty of Catholics who feel that convincing each woman to choose to follow the way the Church teaches is truthfully the only way to abolish abortion…one woman at a time. That doesn’t mean they are bad Catholics or are saying abortion is OK.

She is 19 and is of a different generation, quite possibly than you are. Different approaches, quite possibly.
 
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Overall she seems like a nice person and I’m pretty sure she means well. I go by church teaching which is to treat those with same sex attraction with dignity and respect, but that in no way can the gravely disordered actions be approved. In other words, if a gay person wanted to talk with me I would, or if they needed shelter for the night, I’d provide them with shelter and a meal. Same way I would with any straight person. But at the same time I’m unable to bless the LGBT lifestyle.

Abortion is something that my parish priest has openly spoken out against, even our diocese administrator (formerly our bishop).

I’ll be sure to pray for her.
 
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If she is good enough a friend, ask her.

Most Dioceses have policies for social media wrt Catechists/Staff, etc. Ask your DRE about the policies. If there is a violation, that is something for the DRE or Pastor to address.
 
GerardAubyn said:
In other words, if a gay person wanted to talk with me I would, or if they needed shelter for the night, I’d provide them with shelter and a meal. Same way I would with any straight person. But at the same time I’m unable to bless the LGBT lifestyle.
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You may be missing the point that those that appear supportive of LGBTQ+ may only be supporting their right to live in society without fear and without being discrimated against. I wouldn’t assume that because someone supports these things, they are giving their “blessing” to the “LGBT Lifestyle” (whatever that is. Disclosure: I really dislike that term. I have no idea what it means.)
 
If she’s against the persecution of gay people, then I support that. Maybe it’s the commercialization of “pride” that bothers me and I feel it shouldn’t be endorsed. Mega corporations are changing their logos to the rainbow flag while doing business in countries where gay people are literally executed for being gay. It’s only a sin if she knows that what she’s doing is a sin. So I agree with you there, maybe her intentions are pure and it’s simply the unjust discrimination she’s against.
 
QwertyGirl said:
giving their “blessing” to the “LGBT Lifestyle” (whatever that is.
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That would be getting ordained online so one could officiate at a gay wedding or saying "Hey Fred, I have a cousin, Ralph and he is single, let me fix you guys up on a blind date!:
 
@GerardAubyn, you mention “one of my daughters,” so there are grounds for presuming that you are married. If that is the case, then I think your wife ought to be the first person you turn to for advice in this situation. If you haven’t done that, I suggest you do it now, before you take any steps that you may come to regret.
 
Totally agree. Particularly in this particular time in which the Church is plagued with sexual abuse scandals and the society is confronted daily with issues expressed in the #metoo movement. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
 
GerardAubyn said:
She has a very warm and welcoming smile, has even taught catechism classes to one of my daughters. She’s quite young, about 19 years old, so I admire that there’s a young woman that’s very active in the Roman Catholic faith.

But my concerns are this: She occasionally posts on Facebook things that promote LGBTQ+ and even pro-choice policies.
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A pro-choice Catechism teacher? That should be unacceptable. But the whole thing has to be handled with care.
 
Cor_ad_Cor said:
I’ve seen adult women well into their motherhood/grandmother years serving. Age isn’t relevant.
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Here in the Philippines females are not permitted to be altar servers or EMHC’s. Here they are commentators, readers and ushers.
 
Hey could you explain to me please what s the diffrence between judging actions and judging person actually like do you have an example could you send me in private message if possible to understand thank you i whould really like to learn because i want to change
 
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