Is the female altar server at my parish sinning?

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GerardAubyn

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There is female altar server at my parish who is almost always present and serving during Sunday mass. She has a very warm and welcoming smile, has even taught catechism classes to one of my daughters. She’s quite young, about 19 years old, so I admire that there’s a young woman that’s very active in the Roman Catholic faith.

But my concerns are this: She occasionally posts on Facebook things that promote LGBTQ+ and even pro-choice policies.

I tried to indirectly address this by messing her one day and writing something along the lines of "Happy Pentecost, (her name). Stay strong in your faith, since it’s especially hard in today’s climate with “pride” month and those who call us sexist because we are pro-life.

She responded with something along the lines of “Happy Pentecost to you too, and what you said is so true and a blessing to have read.”

But then she continued to post again. Maybe she isn’t aware that she’s sinning, and I certainly hope that’s the case. I was 19 before and I’ve sinned many times.

Any suggestions or anybody with a similar situation?
 
She sent me a friend request last year. I wouldn’t call her a friend, more like an acquaintance, especially now that we’ve both taught catechism classes together.
 
Even so, determination of one’s sinfulness needs to be left to themselves and their confessor, in my opinion. You can discuss why she thinks/feels/believes as she does, but I’d steer clear of labeling her or her actions. Those are my 2¢
 
Stop Press: Young Woman Discovered Not To Agree 100% With Catholic Teachings.

Clouds drift by. Crickets are heard in the distance.
 
Objectively speaking, her action is sinful. You cannot judge if she is sinning. One could think of many reasons why her culpability might be zero. As others said, judging another is never a good practice.
 
Dear Friend:

Be kind to her as a sister in Christ. Her sins are between God and her confessor.

I hope this helps. God bless you.
 
You might want to befriend her. Take her out for coffee and gently discuss the matter. Be a mentor if she’s open to it. It is certainly not unusual for a 19 year old to be confused about matters of the faith in this culture. God knows I was at 19!!
 
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“Is the female altar server at my parish sinning?”

So many things to consider in this question.
  1. Does the fact that it is a female alter server make a difference? Why not, “Is the alter server at my parish sinning?” When adding the qualifier “female”, it leaves me wondering if that is a an important issue that is bothering you.
  2. And if she is, so? Ask first (as Christ preached, that we first pull the log from our own eye before the splinter for the eye of another), are you sinning? Deal with your sin first.
 
I wouldn’t bring it up on Facebook if I were you. It’s likely she doesn’t know or that you are misinterpreting something she’s saying. If she doesn’t know and you are both teach catechism then you have a duty to inform her I think. That is what you said? No offence but it’s more than just some girl at mass, if she’s teaches others coming to the faith you have to tell her so she doesn’t pass this on and what’s more tell your priest if she wont listen. But do it gently somewhere privately or if you don’t feel up to it ask your priest for advice or to help.
 
Limoncello4021 said:
You might want to befriend her. Take her out for coffee and gently discuss the matter.
Click to expand...
And then check out all your friends and relatives and work colleagues and neighbours (and random attendees at your local church) and check the aspects of the Catholic faith with which they don’t agree and take them for a coffee as well.
 
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I wouldn’t go so far as to call someone questioning an acquaintance’s social media posts a dissident or ban the OP from teaching the faith over a simple err in judgment.
 
I’ve always questioned the practice of female altar servers, especially since women cannot be ordained, not even as deacons. I think it takes away from males who would have an opportunity to discern a vocation to the priesthood. I understand that she’s assisting the priest at mass and that’s admirable, and it may even be hard to find another willing server. I’m 36 and I’m guessing I’m the second youngest person who regularly attends mass at my parish, so altar boys are hard to find.
 
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Are those her posts, or has she been ‘jacked’? If it troubles you, bring it up in person. The interwebz is the center of insincerity.
 
It’s far from an obsession, and I come on this forum the odd time - and I do mean odd time - to see what the broader Catholic community thinks. I respect your opinion but I’d appreciate it if you answered the question in my post. She’s an altar server and sometimes serves as a eucharistic minister. So yeah, it’s a pretty relevant question because I actually care about what goes on in my parish.
 
Mainly posts that she shares, not necessarily something she types herself. She may share without giving it much thought.
 
Judging the actions of another is ok. Judging the guilt of another is not.

At that age, I’d guess she doesn’t fully know or understand what the Church teaches or why, regardless of whether she has taught catechism classes in the past or not. And that age, from what I’ve seen, most are heavily influenced by secular society.

I don’t see anything wrong with fraternal correction - you say you’ve already tried that via the “Happy Pentecost” note you sent her. I would think your responsibility ends there . Or if is she family/close friend etc (which you don’t indicate) then if so, another attempt at fraternal correction would not be out of place, but that would be up to you.

What did Jesus mean when he said not to judge others? (10 things to know and share) by Jimmy Akin 2013

Yes, Catholics Can Judge! 2014

Can I Judge Another Person or Not? by Father Longenecker 2017

The Most Unpopular Commandment
 
Okay, you’ve made it perfectly clear that we should just let anything go and ignore what goes against church teaching, even if it’s happening in our own parish. And I think it’s a pretty petty and pathetic attempt on your part to dismiss the question at hand by invoking the “barely legal girls half your age.” I’m done talking to you, and won’t respond to anything else you have to say. But God bless.
 
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