Amen!
OP: Try to imagine that you are in the upper room at the last supper - which you are. Imagine the entire host of heaven hovering overhead when the “Holy, Holy, Holy” is sung - which they are. Place yourself at the foot of the cross - where you spiritually are. It is for a Divine and eternal reason that it is called the sacrifice of the mass. It’s main intent is not to preach, although you hear that as well. At the mass, which has never ended once Christ began it, time stands still. Time is made irrelevant, as the One Mass is made present to us. Since you cannot yet receive, place yourself in the person of the centurion who exclaimed “Surely, this man was the Son of God!” Talk - even preaching - is cheap, but being in the physical presence of Christ is priceless. It does not matter which Priest is there. He can be a lifelong friend, or one whom you have never seen before. What matters is that Christ is made present to us. When we see Him returning on the clouds of heaven, will all the preaching in the world even matter to us?
How about reading a book which explains the mass?
Here is a book that I have and which I can recommend. Another book that I also have and highly recommend is
Catholicism for Dummies. You cannot go wrong with it.
Another thought: The Lord did not speak to Elijah from the driving wind, or from the earthquake, or from the fire, but rather in the whisper of a soft breeze.
1 Kings 19:9-12. If you are seeking, the person you are seeking is Jesus Christ. Rather than attending a mass, call the parish and ask when they offer adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Then go, and sit in silence in the presence of our Lord. Ask Him to reveal His presence to you. You might be amazed sooner, or you might be amazed later, but you will be amazed. You will be a changed person once you know He is there. Then, you will desire the mass like nothing else. Just don’t expect Him to reveal His presence at your command. He waits until your heart is fully opened to Him.