Is thinking about sex with your husband sinful?

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Beryllos said:
In the Catechism, we read:
2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.
However, memories of sex and anticipation of sex, as described in the OP, are not “sought for itself” or “isolated,” but are closely connected to the mutual loving and giving and unitive aspects of the relationship.

As such, it is not “disordered” or “inordinate” and therefore is not “lust” according to the above definition.

Furthermore, the Catechism does not say there is anything wrong with the desire for or enjoyment of sex. In CCC 2362, we read (quoted from Pope Pius XII, in 1951):
The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.
If the spouses act always with love and respect for each other (and for themselves), they should be well within the “limits of just moderation.”

It sounds like you are doing great. May the Lord continue to bless you and your husband and your marriage!
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It is your opinion that it is NOT “sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes”. There is such thing as marital chastity and so not necessarily does anything related to sex in marriage automatically fall under something that is not disordered.

Seeking pleasure during sex (in the generative function) is different from seeking pleasure outside of sex.
I guess, OP, I would ask you (no need to answer here) what is the purpose of doing this?
 
12345678 said:
It is your opinion that it is NOT “sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes”. There is such thing as marital chastity and so not necessarily does anything related to sex in marriage automatically fall under something that is not disordered.

Seeking pleasure during sex (in the generative function) is different from seeking pleasure outside of sex.
I guess, OP, I would ask you (no need to answer here) what is the purpose of doing this?
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The OP wonders if it is OK for a wife to take pleasure in the memory of marital relations with her husband. The answer is yes, it is very much OK. That memory is part of the unitive effect of their time together. Thoughts of it should not be suppressed. If the thoughts are self-centered, they ought to be mended to be more oriented towards the spouse, not rejected.
 
12345678 said:
It is your opinion that it is NOT “sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes”.
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It is not my opinion, but rather my habit to avoid rash judgment (CCC 2477-2478). I have deliberately given a favorable interpretation of the OP’s statement, since there is no indication that I should think otherwise.
12345678 said:
There is such thing as marital chastity and so not necessarily does anything related to sex in marriage automatically fall under something that is not disordered.
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Agreed. True and well said. There are limits which I will assume the OP understands.
 
Gee, ellam25. I wish my wife felt about me the way you feel about your husband. 😦
 
No offense but why ask this question in the first place? 🤷

It would be more problematic if a wife finds her husband a turn-off. Bet you a lot of husbands would give their right arm for a wife who desires them.
 
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