Is this rude of my friend?

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Cupcake143

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This girl that I’m friends with tends to talk about where to find guys , etc. because she wants a boyfriend so much. She doesn’t have standards really bc she will date anyone (not trying to be mean) as long as she thinks they are cute or ok and nice. I tried hooking her up with 2 guys but they didn’t end up liking her in that way (to date). Long story short, I have another friend who is a guy (cousin of my friend), and he invited me to a birthday party one night and i brang her along. We went to lunch one day and i asked what he thought of her or if he’d want me to hook her up and he said ok give her my #, but all i said to her was that i think he likes her (bc i wasn’t quite sure anyway) and i didn’t want to try and hook her up again and have it fail. Anyway, i told my friend to ask for her # next time we were out. So, he did. Another night all three of us went out, we went to dinner and when we were finished, they both wanted to see a movie but i didn’t. I suggest that them two could go and that it was ok. They ended up both going to the movies without me, not that i cared. I haven’t talked to either of them in about 2 weeks, and now I see on their facebook that their relationship statuses both say “in a relationship”. He txtd me a couple days ago just saying what’s up, and when i asked what’s new he said nothing much. So, I texted him again after i saw this, and i said to him “so , have u asked ___ out yet?” and he said “maybe”. Than, i text my friend and ask her “what’s new” and she doesn’t say anything about him. I think this was shady of them not to say anything to me, and kinda hurts my feelings that now they don’t even care to share that with me. This girl i think is rude bc all she cares about is finding a guy and when she does she can’t even tell me. What do you all think? Am i overreacting?
 
As someone who has this vague facebook status, going out with someone who has that vague facebook status.

Butt out. It dosn’t matter if you’re best friends. She is exploring a new relationship and may not want to tell you yet. They may have met another couple that you don’t know and are going out with the other person. Maybe they are embarrassed they got “set up” and think you don’t deserve to know.

I’ve told one of my friends, my best girl friend. Others know I’m dating…just not who. I’d be appaled at someone who went through my contacts (or our mutual friends) to figure out who also chaged their status.
 
purplesunshine said:
As someone who has this vague facebook status, going out with someone who has that vague facebook status.

Butt out. It dosn’t matter if you’re best friends. She is exploring a new relationship and may not want to tell you yet. They may have met another couple that you don’t know and are going out with the other person. Maybe they are embarrassed they got “set up” and think you don’t deserve to know.

I’ve told one of my friends, my best girl friend. Others know I’m dating…just not who. I’d be appaled at someone who went through my contacts (or our mutual friends) to figure out who also chaged their status.
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She’s not my best friend, but I’m her closest friend I would say. She doesn’t have to tell me but I just think that’s a little shady not to say anything, when she met him through ME. And, I didn’t go looking at their relationship status, it pops up on their status updates and I seen it.
 
Cupcake143 said:
She’s not my best friend, but I’m her closest friend I would say. She doesn’t have to tell me but I just think that’s a little shady not to say anything, when she met him through ME. And, I didn’t go looking at their relationship status, it pops up on their status updates and I seen it.
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Supposing that your attempts at setting these two people up worked, what is the big deal? Be happy for them, instead of resentful that they aren’t building a statue in your honor. Maybe she isn’t sure it’s going to work out, and doesn’t want to discuss it with you since you also are friends with the guy.
 
Katie966 said:
Supposing that your attempts at setting these two people up worked, what is the big deal? Be happy for them, instead of resentful that they aren’t building a statue in your honor. Maybe she isn’t sure it’s going to work out, and doesn’t want to discuss it with you since you also are friends with the guy.
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build a statue in my honor? who said anything like that?! all i said was i think it’s rude that they are being secretive and not telling me anything. if she doesn’t think it’s going to work out and doesn’t want to tell anyone, than why have it posted on facebook for everyone to see? but yet she excludes telling me.
 
I’m not sure what this is doing on CAF.
I asked a question that went into the CAF Black Hole, but this one gets all these responses?
 
Cupcake143 said:
build a statue in my honor? who said anything like that?! all i said was i think it’s rude that they are being secretive and not telling me anything. if she doesn’t think it’s going to work out and doesn’t want to tell anyone, than why have it posted on facebook for everyone to see? but yet she excludes telling me.
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It seems like you are upset because they are not giving you some kind of credit for setting them up.

It is not rude to refrain from discussing a personal matter that you’d prefer not to discuss. What other people choose to tell us about their personal lives and business is just that- their business.
 
Katie966 said:
It seems like you are upset because they are not giving you some kind of credit for setting them up.

It is not rude to refrain from discussing a personal matter that you’d prefer not to discuss. What other people choose to tell us about their personal lives and business is just that- their business.
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What’s wrong with keeping some things “personal” or private? And “hooking up”?
 
Cupcake143 said:
She’s not my best friend, but I’m her closest friend I would say. She doesn’t have to tell me but I just think that’s a little shady not to say anything, when she met him through ME. And, I didn’t go looking at their relationship status, it pops up on their status updates and I seen it.
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Maybe you aren’t her closest friend? 🤷
 
Young people often get a little embarrassed about their relationships while in the early stages and don’t want to talk about them much. Since you know both of them they might also be afraid that you would share something they said with the other. I know it irritates you, but in situations like this it is best to just offer it up and set it aside. Their intention isn’t to hurt you, they just don’t want to talk about it yet, and they are not at all socially obligated to do so.
 
Katrina5 said:
What’s wrong with keeping some things “personal” or private? And “hooking up”?
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what’s wrong with sharing stuff about yourself or life with your friend? nothing wrong with keeping some things private, but would you like it if you asked your friend what’s new, and they don’t share anything about their lives with you? She’s always asking about my life and the guys i meet, and i’m always honest and open about myself with her , just figured it would be nice if she would share it and not keep it a secret from me.
 
Cupcake143 said:
This girl that I’m friends with tends to talk about where to find guys , etc. because she wants a boyfriend so much. She doesn’t have standards really bc she will date anyone (not trying to be mean) as long as she thinks they are cute or ok and nice. I tried hooking her up with 2 guys but they didn’t end up liking her in that way (to date). Long story short, I have another friend who is a guy (cousin of my friend), and he invited me to a birthday party one night and i brang her along. We went to lunch one day and i asked what he thought of her or if he’d want me to hook her up and he said ok give her my #, but all i said to her was that i think he likes her (bc i wasn’t quite sure anyway) and i didn’t want to try and hook her up again and have it fail. Anyway, i told my friend to ask for her # next time we were out. So, he did. Another night all three of us went out, we went to dinner and when we were finished, they both wanted to see a movie but i didn’t. I suggest that them two could go and that it was ok. They ended up both going to the movies without me, not that i cared. I haven’t talked to either of them in about 2 weeks, and now I see on their facebook that their relationship statuses both say “in a relationship”. He txtd me a couple days ago just saying what’s up, and when i asked what’s new he said nothing much. So, I texted him again after i saw this, and i said to him “so , have u asked ___ out yet?” and he said “maybe”. Than, i text my friend and ask her “what’s new” and she doesn’t say anything about him. I think this was shady of them not to say anything to me, and kinda hurts my feelings that now they don’t even care to share that with me. This girl i think is rude bc all she cares about is finding a guy and when she does she can’t even tell me. What do you all think? Am i overreacting?
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Look it is not like she took some guy away from you she has a right to keep some things to her self and this relationship is new you never know how it is going to work out she does not owe you an explanation.let her have some privacy and space
 
brang…ah, I haven’t heard that in years…fortunately. It’s the grammar police in me. brought.

Onto “hooking up” … Why are you “hooking up” your friends? “Hooking up” in current terms generally means “friends with benefits” …premarital sex. You should not be “hooking” anyone up.

What business it is of yours? Clearly, they don’t want to tell you. So…big deal. Next.

I’m so glad I’m no longer in high school.
 
You have a right to your feelings, but you also have control over them. You decide what you are going to allow to bother you, and I cannot see why this should bother you. If you let tiny things like this make you angry, you will spend a lot of time angry. You can choose to feel slighted by this, or you can choose to let it pass.

Maybe she doesn’t want to tell anyone yet. Maybe she is not sure what the nature of their new relationship is. Maybe she just wants privacy. Whatever her reasons for not sharing, it is her decision. Relationships are not based on quid pro qou. You answer her questions when she asks about your relationships, hopefully, because you want to- not because you feel you owe her an answer. Nor does she owe you answers just because you gave them. She does not even owe you an explanation for not giving you the answers you want.

In my opinion, yes. You are overreacting.
 
Barbkw said:
I’m so glad I’m 50.
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Aw come on, be nice. It’s hard to be young, with someoen paying your rent, power, phone, buying your clothes, putting food on your plate, driving you places, not worrying about mortages or how much annual leave you’re accured, a cruisy 9 - 3, 5 days a week reading a few books.

Its gotta be so hard for thems youngin’s.
 
Catholic90 said:
brang…ah, I haven’t heard that in years…fortunately. It’s the grammar police in me. brought.

Onto “hooking up” … Why are you “hooking up” your friends? “Hooking up” in current terms generally means “friends with benefits” …premarital sex. You should not be “hooking” anyone up.

What business it is of yours? Clearly, they don’t want to tell you. So…big deal. Next.

I’m so glad I’m no longer in high school.
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first of all i didn’t mean hooking up so they could have sex!!! i just meant to match them up in a relationship, because she wants a boyfriend real bad. i try to help both of them out, but now they don’t want to tell me anything which i think is a little rude. So it’s not my business but yet they put it up on facebook for everyone to see? But, they don’t want to share it with a friend? that’s fine, i’m not angry but i don’t agree with the people who replied back. My sister and other friend seem to agree that it was rude also, so i guess maybe you all had to be in the situation to understand my point.
 
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