Is this the reason some don't like the Catholic religion?

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It’s too bad, the system of logic…

That people (rightfully) believe that the bible shouldn’t be forced…yet it is the truth, and we are practically damning them and ourselves to hell if we don’t find a way to leave a positive mark on their lives
 
patrickveech said:
It’s too bad, the system of logic…

That people (rightfully) believe that the bible shouldn’t be forced…yet it is the truth, and we are practically damning them and ourselves to hell if we don’t find a way to leave a positive mark on their lives
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I get very discouraged in my work to get people on the narrow road to conversion… but God seems to be telling me to just “do it” 😃 and He will give the increase. As another poster here noticed, i tend to take things too personally… & that is what was discouraging me… I just tell myself that God can even use us psychologically “damaged” people… and as St. Faustina found out, He almost always does use those who are “weak”… usually meaning weak in the ways of (the eyes of) the world…

I just think we should tell people the truth and if they want to accept it, great, If not… we must then just pray and let go…

yes, i know, easier said than done… but taht is the theme of Christianity… 🙂
 
FatBoy said:
I completely agree with you. I’m presently not a Catholic; however, I regularly attend mass and I’ve been interested in the Church for a few years now.

I grew up a Southern Baptist and a preachers kid. I’m use to a family atmosphere at church. If you walk into most evangelical protestant churches you will see happy people. You will see people who welcome, enjoy, and love one another. Relationships are bulit and nurtered by making visitors feel welcome and having activities outside of church that everyone can be apart of. For example it’s common for these churches to have potluck lunches after church. In my experience many protestants go to church because of the relationships that are built and nurtured through these activities.

This is where I don’t understand the Catholic Church. The more I think on and study the Gospels I see that Christianity is about relationships. It’s about relationships with God and relationships with others. Jesus made this clear with what he said in Matthew 22:37-40.

The last few years I have regularly attended mass and I have yet to feel welcome. I have found it almost impossible to develop relationships at Catholic churches. It just doesn’t seem important to Catholics.

One last comment, I find it interesting that Catholics refer to Protestant Christianity with phrases like “me and Jesus” and “personal relationship with Jesus”. From the outside the Catholic Church seems much more individualistic then the Protestant Church. Just something to think about.
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**Much of the time it depends on the atmosphere fostered by the priest(s) and those in positions of authority. Our parish is quite ‘clickish’ but still has an open atmosphere, sometimes moreso than others around the area.

And it is obvious from the Gospels that Jesus wanted to include others and love others as part of his own personal family, so he wanted to extend the concept of family outwards into the world of relationships. Many times I find this done more successfully at the nonCatholic Christian level than Catholic, unfortunately.**
 
peary said:
**Our parish is quite ‘clickish’ but still has an open atmosphere, sometimes moreso than others around the area. ** Hmm… rings a bell… Don’t you think clickishness (I think it is spelled cliquishness) is un-Christian??
Oh… maybe you answer that question here:
And it is obvious from the Gospels that Jesus wanted to include others and love others as part of his own personal family, so he wanted to extend the concept of family outwards into the world of relationships. Many times I find this done more successfully at the nonCatholic Christian level than Catholic, unfortunately.
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I entered unfriendly priest and found this thread. i wanted to know if this was a common situation. started rcia last sept. already knew i had to become catholic after a decade of searching, praying and learning the beliefs of the catholic church. i have not been to mass in several weeks due to personal reasons but also because i am a little sad, i think that is the word i need. after months of mass and rcia in a small parish (maybe 200) only one couple has been friendly to my husband and i. I love the fact it is quite before mass and i love everything about the church, i have never been more excited than when i discovered ewtn, the beliefs and the mass.
we went after mass to a gathering to meet others, but no one spoke to us and we felt very uncomfortable. we went to a church social and a few spoke to us. I realize its always like this in a new place and i admit my husband and i are a little shy and not the most outgoing people. what bothers me the most is this is a small parish and in all these months the priest has never spoke with us, only a hello. as a former baptist, this is strange. if you visit a protestant church more than a couple of times the minister always approaches you to let you know he is glad your coming and hopes you’ll continue and i think this is the right thing for him to do. i know there are good and great parishes but this seems very odd. is this common? the others seem to be very friendly with each other, but only a hello for us. should we try another parish?:confused:
 
i forgot to ask, could it be that we must get annulments before we can be confirmed, that the priest has not spoken with us. I should hope thats not the reason since Jesus himself approached the women at the well. does anyone know?
 
janw said:
i forgot to ask, could it be that we must get annulments before we can be confirmed, that the priest has not spoken with us. I should hope thats not the reason since Jesus himself approached the women at the well. does anyone know?
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DId your RCIA teachers not speak of this last September? Yes, you must get annulments.

It’s hard being new I know, especially if you’re shy. Perhaps after you join the Church you can get involved in some RE classes or ministries.
 
BSHoop96 said:
DId your RCIA teachers not speak of this last September? Yes, you must get annulments.

It’s hard being new I know, especially if you’re shy. Perhaps after you join the Church you can get involved in some RE classes or ministries.
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I think you misunderstood, i know we must get annulments to be confirmed, I was asking if the priest usually waits until after you get annulments before he has a conversation with you. The deacon will be handling the annulments.
 
janw said:
i forgot to ask, could it be that we must get annulments before we can be confirmed, that the priest has not spoken with us. I should hope thats not the reason since Jesus himself approached the women at the well. does anyone know?
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I don’t think that is the reason. I’ve never known a priest to decide whom to talk with after mass based upon that criterion. Our priest speaks with all the RCIA candidates, and waiting to hear on an annulment is not uncommon. I don’t think that is it. 🙂 Most likely it is inattention and busyness.

My personal experience is that the priest speaks with those who approach him after mass with a strong desire to speak with him, otherwise he just shakes hands down the line and says hi intemittently. In other words, if I want to speak with him after mass, I wait for the crowd that is speaking with him to disperse, then I approach him with whatever it is I have on my mind. My priest is ridiculously busy, though (much larger parish than yours, plus other responsibilities).

Maybe your parish could use a greeting ministry. Some parishes have them, some don’t.
 
As a former Protestant, who is now happily Catholic, I think the old adage that “still waters run deep” applies here. While a Catholic Mass may appear that people are unfriendly, etc., there is so much more going on there than meets the eye.

I love the silence and solemnity of the Mass. I have such a deeper experience of God and Jesus (and the Blessed Mother!) in the quiet reverent atmosphere than I have ever had anywhere else. It does come with know what it all means and why things are done. It is also the fact that I can be in the silence with many other people and am connected with them and the Lord silently.

Many many times at Mass I get goosebumps and am moved to tears by the things I feel and experience and hear there.

That’s just my personal experience of it all.

I do also find Catholics to be extremely friendly outside of Mass.

Amie
 
I agree with everything you said, I feel more close to God there than I’ve ever anywhere. I love the church. I just feel sort of uneasy that the priest has never wanted to speak with us even for a few minutes. We like his homilies and would love to get to know him just a little, I realize he is busy. After all these months and such a small parish, I just can’t help but wonder why he has never wanted to talk with us. I have even wondered if maybe he is a little shy as he is young for a priest. Maybe we’ll try to start a conversation at the next social.🙂
 
BeluvdLily said:
As a former Protestant, who is now happily Catholic, I think the old adage that “still waters run deep” applies here. While a Catholic Mass may appear that people are unfriendly, etc., there is so much more going on there than meets the eye.

I love the silence and solemnity of the Mass. I have such a deeper experience of God and Jesus (and the Blessed Mother!) in the quiet reverent atmosphere than I have ever had anywhere else. It does come with know what it all means and why things are done. It is also the fact that I can be in the silence with many other people and am connected with them and the Lord silently.

Many many times at Mass I get goosebumps and am moved to tears by the things I feel and experience and hear there.

That’s just my personal experience of it all.

I do also find Catholics to be extremely friendly outside of Mass.

Amie
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I agree with everything you said, I couldn't love the silence and solemnity of the mass anymore than I do now. At one parish we visited they were not quiet before mass and I like to go early and pray or just sit there in silence. The great things outweigh the not so good things. I just can't help but wonder after months of going why the priest would not want to talk to my husband and I. I guess we will try to approach him at the next social. We like him but would love to know him a little better. I know he is busy but it is a very small parish.:) Also please pray for all the new faces as it is uncomfortable going to a new church and meeting all new people, especially to a different faith. there is so much to learn. I don't know about other converts, but I really believe we have been in the middle of a great spiritual battle since we decided to convert
 
janw said:
the others seem to be very friendly with each other, but only a hello for us. should we try another parish?:confused:
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if it makes you feel any better, i have (thorughout the yrs) been treated VERY rudely by various peole in the Church, some of whom were priests… I don’t feel i did or said antyhing wrong, except that i always tend to stand up for what i believe & sometimes people interpret that as defiance or waht have you… For example, one or 2 times i have disagreed with a priest in confession about something or other (doesn’t happen often, i have to admit)… & then the priest cops an attitude… One time a priest chastised me for going to confession too often… My thoght was “how do you know i haven’t committed adultery or evern murder (abortion??) since my last confession?” I mean, it doesn’t take much time to do those sins… :rolleyes: or anything…

I have, at times, gotten so fed up i felt like leaving… like going to one of those friendly Prot churches you speak of… but… in a nutshell… To leave the Church is to leave Christ… Do you know about the Real Presence? (ever spent much time there??).

I figure all the rudeness is just the devil… Of course he doesn’t want anyone in the true Church Jesus established … the one against which the gates of Hell will not prevail (st Matt 16:18) but we humans in this modern world often forget - consciously… that there even IS a devil… or how coniving he is and all that…

i just consider all the rudeness i’ve encountered as a cross… and offer it up for expiation… conversions… (my sufferings joined with the sufferings of Christ, both past & present). A lot of poeple think Christ’s sufferings ended 2000 yrs ago… but he still suffers… People rejecting him causes him to suffer… (st. Faustina… etc…)…

God bless…
 
BeluvdLily said:
As a former Protestant, who is now happily Catholic, I think the old adage that “still waters run deep” applies here. While a Catholic Mass may appear that people are unfriendly, etc., there is so much more going on there than meets the eye.

I love the silence and solemnity of the Mass. I have such a deeper experience of God and Jesus (and the Blessed Mother!) in the quiet reverent atmosphere than I have ever had anywhere else. It does come with know what it all means and why things are done. It is also the fact that I can be in the silence with many other people and am connected with them and the Lord silently.

Many many times at Mass I get goosebumps and am moved to tears by the things I feel and experience and hear there.

That’s just my personal experience of it all.

I do also find Catholics to be extremely friendly outside of Mass.

Amie
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:clapping: Very well said! Thanks. 🙂 :clapping:
 
janw,

I think priests try to walk a tightrope in relationship to parishoners – being genuinely welcoming and interested without investing themselves so much that deaths, illnesses or disagreements will cause them problems, whether on a personal or administrative level. I cannot fathom that “these guys” would not care deeply about their flocks – those are the people for whom they’ve invested their lives and, besides, they know that they’ll have to answer to the Lord for these people. Fr. Corapi told one audience that he was certainly going to tell them “the whole truth and nothing but” because he was not about to sacrifice his soul to make them “feel good” about themselves in this life.

That said, most handshakes I’ve had with priests – even those I’ve known for a while – have not been strong. They’re generally overworked and, as one person pointed out, will not initiate a conversation unless they detect a serious concern. They cut off conversations because they have lots on their plates. (Or maybe they’ve all been avoiding me all these years . . . hmmm.:confused: ) The priest who introduced me to my wife – through the action of the Holy Spirit – was not warm; it was not his style. He seemed disinterested but one had to get to know him well to see that, while he was not a “people person,” he cared deeply for people.

Sorry for the verbosity. I guess I’m advising that you not take it personally. I’m sorry that you’ve run into roadblocks like this, but you’ll eventually find welcoming hands and hearts in your parish. If “eventually” is too long to wait, try a neighboring parish.

God bless,
Dan
 
danonwaveland

Thanks for the reply. God leading me to the Catholic Church is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I am an impatient person. It seems no matter how much God gives us (me), I want even more sometimes. I think I need to work on the virtue of patience.

God Bless You.

janw
 
janw said:
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         we went after mass to a gathering to meet others, but no one spoke to us and we felt very uncomfortable.  we went to a church social and a few spoke to us.  I realize its always like this in a new place and i admit my husband and i are a little shy and not the most outgoing people.  what bothers me the most is this is a small parish and in all these months the priest has never spoke with us, only a hello. as a former baptist, this is strange. if you visit a protestant church more than a couple of times the minister always approaches you to let you know he is glad your coming and hopes you'll continue and i think this is the right thing for him to do.  i know there are good and great parishes but this seems very odd.  is this common?  the others seem to be very friendly with each other, but only a hello for us.  should we try another parish?:confused:
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Don’t feel bad about it. I have belonged to the same parish most of my life (drifted away and then returned) and until the past few years did not feel entirely a part of it. We have a large parish and the key for me was to find a small Bible study and other small groups that were not at the time of the mass. You will be stunned at the number wonderful people you will meet. It is a cultural thing that we are a bit more reserved - particularly at mass, but it isn’t because we don’t care. Hang in there.
 
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