Is this wedding dress modest enough?

[babochka]

Honestly? No, it’s not modest However, you should be able to get a bolero or shrug to match the dress which you can wear for the ceremony and remove for the reception.

It’s a shame more brides don’t choose lovely modest dresses like Kate Middleton wore for her wedding with Prince William.

It’s a shame that clothing manufacturers have offered only strapless and sleeveless dresses to brides of modest means for well over a decade. If you’re buying something off the rack, you can only take what is available. I was hoping that Kate Middleton’s dress would be the catalyst for a change, but the tyranny of strapless dresses still reigns, for the most part.

 

[hadulzo]

My daughter-in-law had a similar dress and the priest made her cover her shoulders…

 

[powerofk]

It’s a shame that clothing manufacturers have offered only strapless and sleeveless dresses to brides of modest means for well over a decade. If you’re buying something off the rack, you can only take what is available. I was hoping that Kate Middleton’s dress would be the catalyst for a change, but the tyranny of strapless dresses still reigns, for the most part.

Of course, if a person lives close enough to Mexico (and I’ve heard they do this in Quebec, Canada, as well), she can go to a wedding boutique and have her dress made custom for less than $500 - with all accessories included. This is what my wife did almost 8 1/2 years ago when we got married.

As for the clothing manufacturers offering immodest wedding gowns, I’m afraid they do the same thing for dresses in general these days. I teach first communion classes for children 4th grade through mid-school, and my co-teacher and I had to be very specific about finding modest dresses, especially with the older girls - because the vast majority of what’s sold to older girls and young women now is not modest at all.

 

[jmjZelie]

No it is not modest enough. It has a deep V in the front and spaghetti straps. It IS lovely. So what I would suggest is getting a seamstress to add a modesty panel to elevate the front neckline, and then perhaps find a beautiful bolero or lace shrug or even one of those beautiful long-sleeved slim-fitting sheer jackets.

Since you already have the dress, I would just work with what you have and add fabric as needed for modesty. Congratulations on your engagement! And good luck with your wedding planning and marriage prep!

 

[fin]

I think the dress is pretty. As for modesty, does it cover the decolletage when you wear it? How about the back, if it’s not too low, preferably well above the bra line.

Congratulations!

 

[polki]

Beautiful dress and material, but it’s not modest.
Kate Middleton’s dress was just as low cut as yours, but she had sleeves, so I guess that makes it more modest? I think, if you’re going for modesty, it should be less low cut and with some sort of shoulder covering.

Long sleeve and modest dresses are way more expensive than the more popular sleeveless dresses. I bet you could find a relatively inexpensive stole to wear to cover up the top. Congrats and good luck!

 

[on_the_hill]

It doesn’t look particularly bridal, to me. Modest or not.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Kate Middleton’s dress was just as low cut as yours, but she had sleeves, so I guess that makes it more modest?

Kate Middleton’s dress was more modest because instead of spaghetti straps, she had the majority of her cleavage cover. It was low cut but at the top, it was open only 1 inch below her chin making for a vary narrow viewing of her skin.

The main reason I think it is immodest is it appears you will not be able to wear any lingerie under in and have no support increasing the immodesty.

Depending, I am of the opinion it will be easier to buy another dress than to find someone who can add a modesty panel

 

[FrenzyJen]

It would be modest on me! But when I’m not nursing I have the figure of a 12 year old boy, so like previous posters have pointed out, it all depends.

As far as shoulders, I would say that your veil is a good start but I would also consider how you plan on wearing your hair. I had removable cap sleeves put on my wedding gown for the church ceremony, but in hindsight, my long hair did the job better than they did.

Cleavage wise, if you have some to cover up, and don’t like the bolero suggestion (I didn’t when I was getting married) I’d like to suggest a statement necklace purposely built to cover. You can probably find a vendor on Etsy willing to work with you to create it.

 

[pianistclare]

Thank you for your honesty! I loved Kate Middleton’s dress but the problem is that dresses like that are SO hard to find without spending thousands of dollars. I’ll keep an eye out for some coverage options.

Go to the nearest Bridal shop and order a custom made shrug or wrap. They can do it in virtually the same fabric and same shade, and it will cost around $70.
Well worth it.

it’s not immodest. But no sleeve, spaghetti straps, backless, and low cut dresses are discouraged for Catholic weddings by most parishes. I think this dress is lovely and quite salvageable. Just have something made for your shoulders and you’ll be fine.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

Depending, I am of the opinion it will be easier to buy another dress than to find someone who can add a modesty panel

I was thinking the same thing. Unless the OP really likes the dress, I would say look for another more modest dress. Lots of bridal stores have sales.

 

[HouseArrest]

I was thinking the same thing. Unless the OP really likes the dress, I would say look for another more modest dress. Lots of bridal stores have sales.

I agree, not to mention adding a modesty panel might be relatively inexpensive, but adding sleeves and some other alterations can actually be quite expensive. In addition to that, you may not like the results.

 

[turtle18]

You may want to try latterdaybride. it is a mormon website but I really like some of their stuff. (Although I cannot vouch for the quality and you cannot try it on)

 

[Isca]

It’s a very pretty dress. However, if you think you might feel uncomfortable in church, don’t let your worries spoil the day! I’d certainly get something to cover your shoulders, which you can remove for the reception if you wish to.

 

[EasterJoy]

I agree, not to mention adding a modesty panel might be relatively inexpensive, but adding sleeves and some other alterations can actually be quite expensive. In addition to that, you may not like the results.

They actually make little jackets that quite easily add the illusion of sleeves, without sewing anything on. The cost seems to be in the neighborhood of $50 to $150 dollars, and of course something like that can be used again with a different dress in the future.

I see three possibilities:

1. the dress simply isn’t modest because of the way it fits her, and anything that fixes that would be a crime against that lovely bodice. Don’t try to fight that; find another dress
2. the dress isn’t a crime against modesty, per se, but in her area the women who care about modesty in church won’t wear something with so little coverage on the shoulders. In that case, look into a little jacket or shawl that looks right with the dress or else find a different dress or else
3. lastly, the dress fits on her and the climate and prevailing sense of modesty are such that this dress is appropriate as it is

What you do not want to do is to either say, “it’s my wedding, I know it isn’t modest but I’m going to wear it anyway” or to wear a wedding gown in which you aren’t 100% confident that you look the way you intend to look.

The challenge with #2 is to find shoulder coverage that ties in just right with her dress and veil. What you don’t want is “almost right, but not quite.” It needs to really look right. It may be, however, that just the right thing is out there.

 

[roseofshannon]

You can get an idea of the effect a low cut wedding dress can have in this photo of Canadian Prime minister Justin Trudeau’s bride Sophie Gregorie.

She is so lovely, but the eye is distracted from her beautiful face.

Since lace is such a hot style right now, if I were to be choosing a dress at this time, I would look for some of the elegant and inexpensive styles available at department stores. Maybe even something a little boho and simple. See:

stylewe.com/product/embroidery-mesh-paneled-maxi-dress-26608.html

stylewe.com/product/embroidered-lace-evening-dress-27266.html

stylewe.com/product/paneled-silk-maxi-dress-24208.html

stylewe.com/product/ivory-maxi-tulle-gown-with-long-sleeves-27576.html

stylewe.com/product/bandage-mesh-evening-dress-29511.html

stylewe.com/product/floral-embroidered-mesh-maxi-dress-33912.html

stylewe.com/product/plain-chiffon-maxi-dress-34085.html

Then, I would take the money I save and instead of spending it on a dress I wear for a few hours, I would spend it on the most fantastic honeymoon I can imagine!!!

 

[Erikaspirit16]

Fascinating discussion. The replies so far are indistinguishable from various conservative Muslim decrees. Go read some and see.

Out of curiosity, I took a look at what the Catechism has to say about modesty:
vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a9.htm

You know what? Nothing about covering arms, dress length, etc. It uses the word “intuition” and talks about cultural norms (i.e, what might be modest on the beach would be immodest at work, or what might be modest in Paris might not be modest in a small town in Italy). Clearly unless you dressed in full niqab (head to toe black garment, with a small slit for the eyes–or maybe a veil over the eyes to satisfy the scrupulous), you will always find people who say “your dress is too short, your sleeves are too short, you’re showing too much cleavage,” etc.

I think the motto of the UK coat of arms is appropriate here: “Honi soit qui mal y pense” --basically “Evil to him who evil thinks.” Lady Godiva was modest, and she was covered only by her hair. Modesty is mental. You can be as covered up as you want and still be immodest. And vice versa.

 

[Rau]

My daughter-in-law had a similar dress and the priest made her cover her shoulders…

When did the priest have an opportunity to do that? At the church door at the start of the ceremony?

 

[Allegra]

When did the priest have an opportunity to do that? At the church door at the start of the ceremony?

In almost every parish, the priest meets with the couple ahead of time and lays down the rules about what is allowed for weddings at that parish. For example, no adhering flowers to the pews. No real flower petals on the floor. No pre-recorded music. No unity candle. No bare shoulders. et.c.

 

[Rau]

In almost every parish, the priest meets with the couple ahead of time and lays down the rules about what is allowed for weddings at that parish. For example, no adhering flowers to the pews. No real flower petals on the floor. No pre-recorded music. No unity candle. No bare shoulders. et.c.

No confetti and all that sort of stuff - sure. My experience with my own and family and friends weddings is that the bride’s attire is left to the bride. Perhaps in more conservative areas, other matters get a mention…