My wife would never support using Natural Family Planning, and that I wouldn’t either, mainly because it would be irresponsible at this point in our lives together to have a child, and NFP presents a greater risk than other birth control methods.
Using contraception isn’t going to solve your problem. If the risk of pregnancy is so great then your only choice is abstinence.
Also, my wife is in medical school and I am in law school, so our lives are extremely busy and having sex on a schedule would be virtually impossible. It also is not fair to say to my wife, “Sorry, you are going to have to risk having a child right now and potentially put medical school on hold.” And if I did do that, and she did get pregnant, we don’t have the money to pay for childcare or to properly cloth/feed a child. So not only would my wife have to give up on medical school while she is pregnant, she would likely have to wait several years before starting up again.
Ok, this is hindsight and might shock many people, but you were not ready to get married. You should have waited till you had completed school and were prepared to take on the responsibilities of a sacramental married couple which means being open to life.
I know the Catholic response demands we either not have sex or use natural family planning, but the logic behind these two methods seem nearly identical to that of birth control and Humanae Vitae does not, in my opinion, show a valid difference between the two.
The difference between NFP and ABC is that the former is still open to life because it puts God in charge by only using what God put in place. ABC is telling God you are in charge and He must overcome your will if He wants you to have a child.
Additionally, for how long should my wife and I not have sex? For seven years of medical school and residency?
Yes, if having a child would interfere with these plans then best to avoid sex all together.
It seems to me that my wife’s potential for saving lives a doctor who wants to serve impoverished communities should outweigh having a child at this point in our relationship. Our ability to help the world would be GREATLY diminished by having a child now, and asking a married couple to abstain from sex for seven years doesn’t seem right either.
Sadly, you have no idea if you will be able to help the world in any capacity. You can only assume. Perhaps having a child would in fact be a greater contribution to the world than your current goals. Ask Steve Jobs’ mom if her unexpected pregnancy was world changing.
I guess I just don’t understand the entire teaching, even if it is a mortal sin, and it remains a huge roadblock for me and my faith. I know this second post is not quite on topic with the original, but it is all interconnected.
It is all about what makes sex a holy act and what makes it a sinful act. To enjoy the pleasures of sex without being open to the dual purpose (unitive and procreative) of sex is sinful.
I know the Catholic Church has the authority to make any determinations it sees fit on issues of faith and morals, but does it really have the authority to say absolutely, without a single doubt, that issues like contraception and natural family planning, which are not essential Christian doctrines, are infallible? I think the Church has overstepped its bounds in making that distinction. It’s one of the few areas I feel that way about, maybe the only one.
Sinful behavior is essential Christian doctrine. The Church has the authority to determine what is sinful behavior. Misuse of the gift of sexuality is sinful behavior. Sexual activity, not open to life is sinful behavior.
NFP is not contraception. NFP uses God’s design to space out pregnancies. It is open to life in that God can work with the married couple.
ABC is contraception. It breaks something that is not broken. It challenges God’s will.
I suggest you both try NFP, if she is a med student it should be great training for her future work. Also, there are only a few days out of the month where you would abstain. It is safer for your wife’s health as it won’t introduce nasty chemicals either. Trust God to know your situation and to take care of you and your wife.
The hardest lesson for all people, married or single, to learn is to trust God and to do his will with our lives. We so much want total control over our lives.