Is your boss allowed to "chew you out"?

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goodcatholic

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Talk to you like a football coach at half-time? Give you a spray? Use foul language? Dress you down?
Depends on your occupation I suppose.
I am prompted to start this thread by a gardener friend of mine who works at a school. He is often spoken to, in an angry tone by his boss (female). Yelled at for making mistakes. Got to the stage where he went over the person’s head to the next senior boss and complained. Higher boss replies “Oh she talks like that to everyone. Get used to it.”
 
I never allow my superiors to talk to me in anything less than a professional manner, the same way I speak to them. If they aren’t onboard they can find someone to fill my position as I walk out.

I don’t know how hostile work environment work, I don’t think getting yelled at counts. So I don’t know if there’s any legal recourse here.
 
Rhubarb said:
I never allow my superiors to talk to me in anything less than a professional manner,
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Because your job is considered professional. And you are confident of finding another position.
Many of us are working at entry level positions and cant afford to lose our jobs.
 
It certainly depends on the profession. In the military, for example, such treatment is not only permitted but expected at the start of your career.
 
goodcatholic said:
Higher boss replies “Oh she talks like that to everyone. Get used to it.”
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That’s what they used to say about Charlie Rose: “Oh, that’s just Charlie being Charlie.” Everyone knew he was out-of-bounds, but no one stood up to him.

If you work at a school, abusive language is usually an official “no-no” for administrators.

Certainly if the person doing the yelling asked me, I’d say, “Loud encouragement, yes. Contempt or belittling at any volume? There is no excuse for it. It is rude, it is bad management, and you don’t deserve to keep good people around doing that. No one deserves it and anyone who is good enough to keep will do worse work with that. If someone won’t work unless you scream at them and make them afraid of you, get rid of them.”

If a good employee asked me, I’d say, “You can do better. Work for someone who won’t take years off of your life.”
 
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mythbuster1 said:
It certainly depends on the profession. In the military, for example, such treatment is not only permitted but expected at the start of your career.
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The drill instructors do it during the first 13 weeks, but boot camp a) is preparation for battle conditions and b) does not last for a soldier’s entire career. There gets to be a point where officers are expected to refrain from being gratuitously abusive.
 
mythbuster1 said:
In the military, for example, such treatment is not only permitted but expected at the start of your career.
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So for a person who has worked in the military before, they would be used to it. And not complain?
PetraG said:
If you work at a school, abusive language is usually an official “no-no” for administrators.
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I guess the key word here is “abusive”. Is raising your voice abusive? Is constant fault-finding abusive? I would rate that as abusive but some people seem to think it is normal.
 
And I think some bosses choose their victims carefully. Know which ones they can get away with it. If they know someone is desperate to keep their job, they might take advantage of that. If they know that person either has low credibility or isn’t likely to complain, they might go ahead too.
 
PetraG said:
There gets to be a point where officers are expected to refrain from being gratuitously abusive.
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Thanks for the insight into the military. Glad I never signed up. I’ve heard some terrible stories about harassment and bullying. Don’t think I would survive.
 
I don’t do anything that requires that sort of thing.
Oops. Maybe I should attend your 4week course.
 
I also run forum addiction courses.
How to post 16 hours a day and still feel like you are making a positive contribution to society.
Instead of humility, it is rationalisation reinforcement. How to feel good about yourself no matter what.
 
I like this course better. Actually can I be a teacher of this course?
 
Classic forum junkie in denial. I’ve signed you up for your own good. Sorry.
 
Since I’ve become a professional, I hadn’t had this issue. I held to my guns when I worked in food service and retail. But you’re right, while I’ve been very broke before, I’ve always had fall-backs and people who can help me out. I’ve never been in a truly desperate situation or have to afford children.

If I were in that situation, I’d politely remind my boss that I always communicate in a professional manner and I’d appreciate the courtesy returned. And if they didn’t oblige me, I’d start sending out resumes.
 
Rhubarb said:
f I were in that situation, I’d politely remind my boss that I always communicate in a professional manner and I’d appreciate the courtesy returned. And if they didn’t oblige me, I’d start sending out resumes.
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I think if we communicate respectfully that we don’t like the manner in which we are spoken to, no matter what our lowly position, they will be either surprised or admire out guts for the assertiveness. Risks need to be taken in my opinion. because there is no sense holding grudges over unexpressed resentment. That just leads to an unproductive toxic workplace.
 
Protestant preachers - do that !
Bible thumper crowds - like to be bible thumped, it seems.
They even dress up fancy and clean - suits and ties -
brightly colored dresses, perfect hair cuts, jewelry,
NOPE - bible thumped by the preacher !
 
Judge Judy comes to mind as well.
it’s like a kind of old school energy, that some people just love. As if they are players in a football team.
 
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