Is your spouse your BEST friend?

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Yes of course my wife is my best friend. Who else would be?

She is also a football buddy and I put up with the girlie shows in the off season. If soccer were ever something she watched, it would mean divorce.
 
Absolutely. He and I do everything together. The only one I spend more time with is our daughter. I really don’t think it’s right if you are closer to your friends then your spouse. However, there are certain subjects that I prefer to discuss with other women. (But none of them are very important.)
 
Of course he is.

He is the one I go to, to talk about everything. He knows my hopes and dreams. He knows my strengths and weaknesses. He celebrates my victories and consoles me in my losses.

I can and do talk to him about everything.

And I am his.
 
Guess I’m the odd one out here, but I can’t say my husband is my BEST friend. He is the one person in this world who knows me best after many years of marriage, and I enjoy doing lots of things with him, but we also enjoy quite a few activities apart from one another. There have been (and still are) lots of wonderful times in our marriage, but there have also been some very difficult rough spots. Don’t really have a “best” friend, male or female - just good friends that I can relate to in various ways and enjoy being with for certain activities.
 
This is a great opportunity to say a resounding, yes!! My dear husband is truly my best friend. It has always been that way in our 38 year marriage and for that I am truly blessed and very grateful. He has been at my side through thick and thin, good and bad times and together we have raised two wonderful daughters and have brought each other closer to God in remarkable ways.
 
Yes, we’re best friends.

But we allow each other lots of space. My husband is an ice dancer and has an ice dancing partner (a woman–as of yet, United States Figure Skating doesn’t allow same-sex ice dancing in competition, and even if it did, there are very few men who are into ice dancing in this country. I can understand why–after watching Charlie White on Dancing With the Stars and seeing how tall and strong he is and seeing him with his gorgeous fiancé Tanith Belbin, and seeing how intelligent he is–well, it’s obvious why men don’t want to take a up a sport that puts them in the same camp as Charlie! :rolleyes:).

Anyway, my husband spends many hours with his ice dancing partner. I like ice dancing, but I have no interest in being a “rink wife” and sitting around watching him and her practice progressives and three turns together.

In the same way, I have an interest in music that takes me away from my husband for hours every week. I am learning to play the pipe organ, and that means hours of practice (during good weeks!). I accompany several choirs and occasionally accompany soloists, and that means rehearsals. I’m also in charge of a youth music competition in our region.

However, even though we spend a lot of time apart, we are still best friends, and we check in with each other constantly (hooray for texting!) to see how everything is going.
 
My soon to be husband is my best friend.I look forward to how marriage will continue to fuse our friendship, and relationship like nothing else can. Thank you for all the wonderful responses.
 
Yes. No other relationship even comes close. After moving across the country a few times in the last few years most of my friends are flung across the country, but even when they were right across the street he was definitely the first person I would want to talk to, confide in and spend time with.
 
Dacinom said:
You are not odd because I would say the same thing.

I wonder if a lot comes down to how we define and personally perceive the word “friend?” When we were first dating my husband and I were friends, very good friends! Then we grew closer and were madly in love. We are still in love Praise God!

I guess I don’t think of him as my friend, I haven’t for years. We are in a Sacramental Bond and have been through pain and joy like I never imagined. My love for him is deeper than I have for any of my friends, as is my commitment to him, however sometimes I enjoy (or even prefer) the company of a friend to that of my husband for an event or outing. I have been blessed by many wonderful friends as well and I think that has helped my marriage because we encourage one another in our vocations.

I just don’t want anyone reading this thread to be discouraged if they are in a marriage and their husband/wife isn’t their best friend to feel they are doing something wrong or that they are headed for disaster. Some couples have a different dynamic and as long as you are committed and true to your faith and your vows that is the most important thing.
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I agree with this post. I saw the thread and the first thing that popped in my mind was: depends on one’s definition of friendship. I don’t think it at all clear. I have had some really good friends in my life. But I don’t really know how to define it, or even why some of these guys were/are such good friends.

It almost seems trite to define my wife as my best friend. I certainly consider her much more important and closer to me than any friend has ever been. Why would I want to start categorizing her along with all of them?

C.S.Lewis had this statement made by the protagonist in his novel That Hideous Strength: “Those who are enjoying something, or suffering something, together are companions. Those who enjoy or suffer one another, are not. Do you not know how bashful friendship is? Friends - comrades - do not look at each other. Friendship would be ashamed…” I am not for sure it is exactly applicable, but it does seem like food for thought.
 
tafan said:
I agree with this post. I saw the thread and the first thing that popped in my mind was: depends on one’s definition of friendship. I don’t think it at all clear. I have had some really good friends in my life. But I don’t really know how to define it, or even why some of these guys were/are such good friends.

It almost seems trite to define my wife as my best friend. I certainly consider her much more important and closer to me than any friend has ever been. Why would I want to start categorizing her along with all of them?

C.S.Lewis had this statement made by the protagonist in his novel That Hideous Strength: “Those who are enjoying something, or suffering something, together are companions. Those who enjoy or suffer one another, are not. Do you not know how bashful friendship is? Friends - comrades - do not look at each other. Friendship would be ashamed…” I am not for sure it is exactly applicable, but it does seem like food for thought.
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I guess I don’t understand the reluctance to label a spouse a friend. I mean, yes, she’s more than just your friend, but isn’t she also a friend, and a wonderful one at that?

My husband is my best friend. My mom is also a good friend of mine. Yes, we have a mother-daughter dynamic, but we also have a really great friendship. My brother and I have been siblings my entire life, but it has only been the last few years that we have really started to become friends. My husband has two brothers, both of whom he loves very much. But he is only friends with one of them.

You make it sound like a friend is a bad thing, but I don’t see it that way. Friendship is a unique relationship all its own, that can be present with our without familial or spousal ties. I know married couples who enjoy a very deep bond of friendship, and their whole relationship is far different from the couples that I know who are not friends. The couple who isn’t friends may be just as committed and devoted, they may be great parents together, and they may love each other very much, but their relationship is different from a couple that is friends as well as lovers.
 
Yes, DH is my best friend. It took a couple years for him to get over the hump of realizing that when I confided in him about problems that he couldn’t always FIX them, but that it was helpful just to sincerely listen to my venting or “just hold me”. Once that hump was cleared, the last 18 or so years have been great. I, too would feel it a bit of a betrayal to be closer to another person than him. We’ve together raised five daughters, been through eight moves, and lived on squat for income sometimes, but through it all, he’s my life, and I truly believe, even if he won’t admit it since he comes from a family that “doesn’t generally talk about feelings unless it’s anger, etc.” , that I’m his BFF too. I can attest to that because the things he tells me I’m pretty positively sure that he wouldn’t speak of to another soul.

I also agree with some of the other posters that there are things I don’t talk to him about, but only to other women about, but they’re either not real important/deep, or they are things of a nature that wouldn’t interest him since he’s a man, and I know him pretty well and thus know what bores him, even if it’s fun for me.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
I guess I don’t understand the reluctance to label a spouse a friend. I mean, yes, she’s more than just your friend, but isn’t she also a friend, and a wonderful one at that?

My husband is my best friend. My mom is also a good friend of mine. Yes, we have a mother-daughter dynamic, but we also have a really great friendship. My brother and I have been siblings my entire life, but it has only been the last few years that we have really started to become friends. My husband has two brothers, both of whom he loves very much. But he is only friends with one of them.

You make it sound like a friend is a bad thing, but I don’t see it that way. Friendship is a unique relationship all its own, that can be present with our without familial or spousal ties. I know married couples who enjoy a very deep bond of friendship, and their whole relationship is far different from the couples that I know who are not friends. The couple who isn’t friends may be just as committed and devoted, they may be great parents together, and they may love each other very much, but their relationship is different from a couple that is friends as well as lovers.
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I certainly don’t think being/having a friend is a bad thing. I hope I did not give that impression.

Let me put it this way. Sure, I consider my wife a friend. But it is by no means the normal way I label her or think about her. And it becomes especially troubling to say she is my best friend. If one has a group of items and says one of them is the best, that requires a comparison to be made with all of the rest. Even before that comparison is made, it assumes the best item is in the group. Why would I place my wife in the same group of people as my other friends for comparison purposes? It seems to me to be way beneath the dignity of my spouse to even hint at a comparison of her with any of my friends. Comparing my wife to any of my friends is just something that would never enter my mind as a normal thought.
 
Interesting question. I would have to say ‘no’, my wife is not my best friend. A very good friend, yes. We share social experiences, friends and have the same sense of humor, etc.

But deep sharing is not her forte, alas. I have spent years trying different avenues to have her open up to me and have a deep intimacy. But after 20 years, I reconciled that she only feels comfortable in the shallow waters of intimacy.

So, if she couldn’t come to me in deeper waters, I realized that if I wanted this to work, I would have to come to her in the shallows and live a life of superficial intimacy. It is not ideal for me, but what is love without sacrifice? I have FB, an anonymous blog and friends to spill my guts and heart into.

…and I have our Blessed Mother for deeper intimacy.
 
Definitely my wife is my best friend. She is closer to me than anyone ever can be. It is not always easy, but no friendship is. She is grace for my faults and a home for my love. I’ve done stupid things which hurt her and I end up realizing it always hurts me too, in the end. I have left country, family, friends, and a parish with just her and our little girl. She is an amazing mother and wife.

It’s so important to pray for a good spouse. To pray for each other to be good husband and wife and mother and father. But to remember that its God’s goodness that grants us these things, not our own piety.
 
Dacinom said:
You know I can’t answer this question but I can guess. I can only chalk it up to one of those “personal preference” things of labels that I don’t care for and I don’t really have a good reason. By the same token, I don’t personally care for being called “mommy” to my pets. I am “mommy” to my children that I gave birth to but I am not “mommy” to my pets. I love them dearly and cuddle with them daily! Sometimes I get along with them better than my own children hahahahaha! I just don’t care for being called their “mommy” but it is a common label these days. As discussed in this thread I don’t refer to my husband as my “best friend” I don’t think of him in those terms and I haven’t for years.
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I wouldn’t normally say that my husband is my best friend. I see the term as kind of “high school.”

But when I answered here, I said of course.

But that isn’t how I think of him. He is so much more. But when the question is qualified the way the OP did, I have to answer in the affirmative.

Maybe the question should read, is your husband the one person you can talk to about anything? Is he the one person that knows you best? Is he the one person that knows your hopes, your dreams? Your trials and failures? Is he the most important person in your life?

And to that, I have to say YES.
 
My husband is more than a friend. He is everything to me, my sun, moon…I feel so strongly for him that it goes beyond friendship. I am deeply in love, deeply attracted and deeply in need of him being with me, from holding my hand to making love with him.
 
For my part, my husband is my best friend, but not the other way around. He considers one of my bridesmaids to be his best friend!

They talk all the time on the phone in my presence (on speaker) and I hear new things about my husband’s via this method, so at least that counts for something.

We haven’t even had the wedding photos developed yet.

I don’t want to approach the subject because I will lose.

So I live with it and make sure we keep our finances separate and make sure I don’t get pregnant in the case I need to file for divorce.
 
GoldenArrow said:
For my part, my husband is my best friend, but not the other way around. He considers one of my bridesmaids to be his best friend!

They talk all the time on the phone in my presence (on speaker) and I hear new things about my husband’s via this method, so at least that counts for something.

We haven’t even had the wedding photos developed yet.

I don’t want to approach the subject because I will lose.

So I live with it and make sure we keep our finances separate and make sure I don’t get pregnant in the case I need to file for divorce.
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:hmmm: 🤷
 
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