It's official

[chicago]

Well, my point is that I still want to be a priest, but I ask what is wrong with me?? why not me what did I do to make God turn me away??? I mean I am a virgin I am straight I have no problems in the sex area and my manhood!! I believe in all the church’s teachings and try to live them I have so much experience of dissappointments troubles I have dealt with so much, I feel God does not want me. so I feel that I am not called because if I were I would atleast would have had some help getting past the gate keeprs and the red tape. All I can say is Jesus knows where I am and knows where to find me and yes I am hurt. plain and simple. God bless Scoob.

A couple of thoughts (speaking as a former seminarian, albeit minor seminary) who has spoken over the years to numerous other “once upon a times” (as I call those of us who have been there/done that and took discernment seriously.)

I think it is natural to feel hurt. I find it to be a not at all uncommon sense of “once upon a times.” When one invests himself in something like this sincerely, we have given ourselves over in a way that is very personal and meaningful. To be turned away or discover that it just isn’t something that is going to happen can be quite frustrating (and maybe even shocking in experience.) How to deal with it? What is the next step? You question, ask why, and wonder what could have been/should have been different. Perhaps you relive all the challenges of seminary life and are even angry (maybe with good reason.) It is like going through a grieving process; you need to let it happen in order to move on.

Also, recognize that it is not necessarily God who has rejected you. In some sense, you may not have really been rejected at all by anyone (though it, understandably, seems like it is so.) Seminary discernment is like dating. It’s a two way street. If, for any reason, there just isn’t a fit then there may have to be a breakup. Given, when you have fallen in love with the girl (um, I mean vocation) and are infatuated with her (it, God, the priestly ministry) there will be very real human trial. Maybe you were, indeed, being called. One person I know once commented that it would seem that the Lord has a special call for those who have entered seminary, even if they never make it all the way to the altar. But if it just ain’t going to work out and the two sides aren’t entirely compatible (for whatever reason, perhaps through no fault of your own or anything you can do anything about), then it just isn’t meant to be.

All one can do is accept the circumstances, knowing that God has other plans for you in his Divine Providence. Maybe you won’t become a priest. Perhaps another opportunity will open up (in priestly life or elsewhere.) We may never fully understand until heaven. But the reality is that life is hard and sometimes we have to suffer through things we would rather not to get to that end. I think that there was some guy who was a priest like 2000 years ago that understood this. Cling to Him! Therein lies your priestly nature that no one can take away, whether you ever get ordained for ministerial service or not.

 

[1234]

I think that Scoob and patrick shouldn’t take no for an answer.

–why rely on the advice of one SD? If you have indeed been turned down by multiple religious orders, then perhaps, indeed, you didn’t have a religious vocation–at least you didn’t at the time you were turned down. Things may have changed for you and it certainly has for them. No one under 50 is too old for most communities and many accept over age 50. Communities, particularly brothers, are having a very hard time.

I think that a prescription for ‘dating’ is very foolish. "Dating’ to get some experience must have stuck out like a sort thumb- no wonder you were turned down!- whoever of the two of you-- I don’t want to go thru the posts again–

I am addressing religious life in general, not specifically the priesthood.

And you do indeed have to be free of family obligations and debt free.

I say, rethink it, determine if you are indeed eligible now, and go for it.

 

[1234]

Fleshing this out a little more, I would forget about SD’s. I think that these are most valuable for young people, to try to direct and focus their vocations. for anyone who is mature, and who may be a ‘special case’ , they may not have the experience to give these individuals good advice.

Scoob, there are many ‘delayed’ vocations to the priesthood now. Dioceses are beating the bushes for candidates. I would forget the past and start anew. Get your CV together and go for it. Remove the chip from your shoulder. If not the priesthood, then start researching communities in a serious very thorough way and start correspondence, maybe using snail mail to show that you’re serious. If you find a community that really interests you, I would visit, confirm the impression that you’re seriously interested, and appeal in person. If community after community says no, you have your answer.

For Patrick, the problem is different. Pat, you are obviously very bright and well-educated, but have a focal short-term memory deficit and a very spotty work history. The 40 jobs in 30 years doesn’t look good. I would write them out in a table form with a footnoted sort of explanation as to why you left or were fired. I am sure that the reasons for many, possibly most, are perfectly legitimate.

I think that training for the priesthood with this deficit would be hard. Not so the brotherhood. Brotherhoods are in serious trouble now in the US and they are seriously need candidates. I also feel that the old stereotypes of the brotherhood no longer hold. Many brothers nowadays are very intelligent and highly trained.

…for some reason, I can’t quote another part of another thread titled,“Ocds Calling But disabled” where you described the best sort of environment for you: prayer and repetitive work.

These words precisely describe Trappist , Carthusian, and possibly Camaldolese life as a brother. All non-priestly vocations to these orders would involve manual labor–maintenance, house cleaning, repairs, cooking, possibly farming, carpentry; they would use any skill you have, but would definitely involve physical labor. Do you have experience doing maintenance, cooking, baking, carpentry, fixing things, machine and electrical repairs, farming?

There are Trappist monasteries scattered all around the US. There are 11 of them --in the NE (MA,NY), south (KY,SC,GA,VA), Midwest (MO, IA), West (UT, CO) and California. At least one of them has got to be relatively near you. All are in trouble, some more so than others. All need vocations, brothers especially. The Trappist monasteries are rural or suburban with a lot of land and all have a big physical plant with requires upkeep. All do manual labor, making caskets, farming. Genesee recently had to give up its hay operation because of the lack of vocations. They also make bread commercially.

osb.org/cist/index.html#trapp–if

If there are obsolete links here, at least one monastery will have links to the others.

All Trappist, Carthusian and Camaldolese monasteries are quiet and conducive to prayer.

All are flexible re older age and I can tell from the sparse profession pictures online, many are not young. Many do say not over 45, but that is probably flexible.

The Carthusians are a small group in Vermont and have priests, brothers and donates. There are approximately 16 total (“16 members”) in all groups at all levels of commitment on 7000 acres (!) of land. Not a big group. Because of the extensive prayer and office requirements of the fathers, the maintenance and cooking falls to the brothers.

www.chartreux.org.– this site includes just the rule.

By definition, Carthusians are very reclusive; no on-line updates and chatty “What’s New” website info. They are less austere than they were, and probably the brothers are less austere than the fathers, because of the requirements for manual labor.

The Camaldolese are in California in Big Sur, some of the most beautiful land in the US. There are 26 total-not a huge group. Their plant is old, requiring maintenance, I am sure, and they have a lot of retreatants–bakery, house trades–and they are raising money for a new monastery.

contemplation.com/

I would be very upfront in writing to and talking with these folks–your accident long ago, what you’ve done, can and can’t do, what you’re looking for and why it’s taken so long. They have heard and seen it all, I am sure. You received bad advice in the '80’s re dating, which set you back, and the grounds for evaluating and accepting candidates are shifting as I write, so be patient.

Go for it, and keep us posted!

One of my favorite NT quotes is:

“Seek and ye shall find. Knock and it shall be opened unto you.”

Now who said that?