I do wonder how the church views intention to confess. What if the person dies on the way to confession? Or plans to go Saturday when it’s offered but dies on Thursday? Or plans to go in 10 years and dies before then? Maybe these are big questions only God knows. People surely die all the time (suddenly) without being able to ask forgiveness at all of God, in confession or otherwise. So should a Catholic ask for forgiveness from God ALWAYS after any sin before they can get to confession?
It is not just about contrition, but also about intent to stop sinning. Contrition includes a
firm resolve to stop the sin and even the near occasion of sin. It cannot just be an intent to stop at some time in the future.
So to use your examples, if someone had committed a mortal sin, had contrition with a resolved to sin no more, and intended to go to confession, but died before they could, we can make an educated guess that God would forgive them. That also might be the case for someone who cannot make amends for say financial reason or reasons of danger. But in the case of someone that is going to confess in 10 years one has to ask why there is a delay. If they are contrite, but will not stop sinning then their contrition is not complete. There is a difference between cannot and will not.It would be like someone saying I am sorry for committing adultery, but my secretary is too attractive to stop sleeping with. Once she’s too old to find attractive then I will stop and go to confession. As long as they plan to continue sinning then intent to confess in the future is immaterial. Intent to confess and feeling bad is the movement of the Holy Spirit, but the refusal to stop the sin also shows a resistance to the actual graces and placing our trust in God.
“Well, I’ll use this birth control so I can be sure of no more children (but feel bad doing this), then confess later.” But yet it amounts to that I suppose? I wish to abstain but DH will not.
This shows you are feeling the Holy Spirit moving you to repentance, but it also shows that you struggle to set earthly concerns aside. Earlier you mention that you would accept children if the IUD and condom failed, but will not trust NFP as it is not 100%. So you accept that condoms and IUD do have a chance to fail and are willing to accept the risk using immoral means, but will not trust using moral means unless they are 100% guaranteed (e.g. continuous abstinence). This is what I mean by the struggle to put aside earthly concerns. It is an extreme position to say I only trust those means that guarantee (or nearly guarantee) what I desire even if they do not serve my relationship with my husband or with God.
I have 7 children between 22 and 1 (5 of them are under 10) and I will be 62 before the youngest is 18 so I understand the struggles. We are at an age where we have to ask if we can really continue to have children when they would need support past when I could work. At the same time I lived without confession or the Eucharist for 35 years (I’m a convert) and could not imagine giving that up for passing things in this life. My wife and I have been able to make significant changes in our life precisely because of the strength from the graces from the sacraments. There are things that I would have outright laughed about if you told me 10 years ago, but God walks with us as long as we will walk with him
But you are saying a door is not being closed to me.?I should not forget about trying to be a Catholic?
Just like the prodigal son returned to his father, the Church is always waiting for us. But like the father She will watch for us, but he will not come to get us. It is up to us to find the strength to return to our Father and His Church. Even if we stumble we need to keep moving toward home. We should never just sit down on the road and accept death because it seems the road is too hard or the way too long.
(And I think I should go to confession for having taken communion when I should not have. I did not understand or know any of this terminology at the time, as I learned all that here. I can go to confession anyway for receiving, right? Maybe it was not a sin if I didn’t know, but surely I can still go to confession?
You can certainly talk to the pastor and express your sorrow, but he cannot absolve you of only some sins. It you knowingly hold back a sin in confession then absolution is invalid and there are no sacramental graces. It would have been a venial sin at best if you did not know. Unfortunately until you can move beyond the current state of things the sacraments are closed to you. You can certainly receive graces, but they would be to move you to amendment.
). If we toss our cross aside then we give up the very thing God gives us to scale the heights. I would like to say things get easier, but sometimes God carry’s much of the weight of the cross, but as we strengthen in Faith he lets us carry more and more. It is all about strengthening us for Eternal Life. We just need to keep in mind that Christ will always be there to help us shoulder the cross, if we but ask him to help. The only thing he won’t do is to help carry our cross by turning away from God. If you struggle and suddenly the burden is lifted, but you find you are walking away from Calvary then look behind you because it likely isn’t Christ that is helping you, but rather the Father of Lies.
). I had no guidance beyond where ever my head pointed me and that did not lead me to happiness. I still had struggles and “freedom” often just led me to more problems. Only in the Church did I finally find a beacon to light my way. I certainly still have struggles, but instead of facing a cliff and trying to find my own way I have guidance on how to climb it. It’s still a cliff to be scaled with effort, but the Church has given me firm anchors and has never lead me down blind routes that ended in being stuck. Even when I wasn’t sure where a route might lead me, I still came out safe on the other end.