I've lost all hope

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I’m so sorry you suffer so much, Nelka. I would encourage you to pray to–or continue to pray to–the Blessed Virgin for help as much as you can. That is what saves me from despair and sins, and helps me to find Jesus.
 
It sounds like you are in a difficult position especially having a permanent illness. This must be very hard.

What are your influences? What kind of books do you read, TV/movies/music? What kind of people do you spend your time with…do they encourage you in the faith, or discourage you?

The things we surround ourselves with can often have a secret influence on our own thoughts about things. Guard against influences that detract from the faith and your hope of salvation. I recommend reading the Church Fathers, and (if you are Catholic) attending the Traditional Latin Mass.

Are you living a moral life?

The virtues are moral acts. The vices are immoral acts, and therefore sinful. Seek to live the virtues, and therefore a moral life. The greatest happiness in this life comes through living a moral life.

Theological virtues (our relationship with God): faith, hope, charity

Moral virtues (our relationship with other people): prudence, justice, fortitude, temperance
 
Your image is the Divine Mercy, no? You have hope, in that Divine Mercy, that comes from Jesus Christ himself. Sometimes I feel hopeless, but I know with Jesus Christ, Our Lord, Saviour, and God, I am not.
 
We get to heaven through the finished work of Jesus on the Cross, not because we are so righteous that God lets us in.

Where do you get this idea that you somehow earn your way into heaven? Heaven is a gift, a reward, which is received by faith, which is given through grace.

It is not bought with a certain number of prayers or number of Masses you attend.
 
Nelka,

I know how you feel and think because I lived what you’re experiencing for almost all of my life. It’s a living nightmare, feeling like you’re trapped in your own mind. Please, for your own safety and relief, seek professional help asap. This is something you can’t deal with alone! There is hope. Pray by all means, but seek help!

Yours in healing,

Stuart
 
May you all be filled with loving kindness. May you all be well. May you all be happy. May you all be well.
Code: 
 Nelka, I too am going through life issues physically as well as with family that are not as helpful as I would like, to say the least. The deeper my practice becomes the more I notice this and this may be a cross as well. The cross being that we may feel things more deeply than if we were unconscious or less conscious so to speak. A blessing? No? Maybe both.
 A bit of a paraphrase on a quote from Fr. Charles Grondin-- God doesn't get us out of anything, but will get us through everthing. This I think of almost daily as I navigate the situation I'm currently in. Thank you for the post as it reminded me of the quote. :) Maybe the holy spirit led you to post just for me today.
 
I am praying for you that you may see that God is always with you, even when you can’t seem to notice Him.

As the others have said, please have a mental health professional or counselor that you can talk to about this.
 
I am so sorry. I have always liked your posts and thought you were a very pleasant person. These dark moods pass, even the ones that seem like they’ll never go. Hang in there. But it is definitely ok to vent - I have no problem with it. Sometimes that is the release you need.
 
Hi Nelka, .
I think most of us understand where you’re coming from, because many of us have been through similar :dark valleys and some of us are still battling these attacks of the enemy.
" Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word " Jesus is called - the Word of God "
So you will understand that Words are very important . The Bible also declares that
“Life and death is in the power of the tongue " You need to get tough with yourself 💪:fist_right:
For example - every time a negative thought comes into your mind, ( for example ) I Am Rubbish !
–Stop it in its tracks - by saying something like - I Am Blessed and Highly Favoured ! or I am the Righteousness of God, or I am the son of the King of Heaven, I am of Great Value ! … If a negative thought slips into your mind like eg. " This is going to be another dreadful day " you should immediately resist this unwelcome thought with something like " This is the day the Lord has made – I will rejoice and be glad in it . !”
Satan attacks our minds. The way to defeat his lies is with the Word of God.
Remember when Jesus was tempted by Satan , he responded to Satan by quoting the word of God. The Bible tells us " Resist the devil and he will flee from you "
Whenever he attacks you and tries to get you to speak negative words, simply drive him away by praising God and thanking Him for all His benefits. There are some great Psalms to uplift our spirits. God bless you , 😀
 
Two evenings ago I attended my first ever Catholic Healing Mass and Service. At this Mass water, salt, and oil are blessed and exorcised.

From reading your OP please consider attending a Healing Mass service, or ask your Parish Priest to give you Anointing of the Sick. It may help you by healing your emotional or mental health to help give you strength.
 
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