Your kind comments made me ashamed of what I wrote. I forgot that our Lord Jesus Christ was tempted in every way that we are, and remained without sin. Even more than that, he allowed himself to be taken prisoner, scourged, mocked and put to death in the most agonising fashion whilst all the while praying for sinners. To quote Isaiah “and through his wounds we are healed.”.
No need to be ashamed. You wrote what you believed to be true, from your heart, at the time. That gives you “authorship” (the original meaning of the term “authority” as in how Jesus amazed them in the temple rather than just trying to learn to parrot the scripture) over what you say.
I appreciate your retracting suggesting others to do the same.
As far as the Catholic stereotype of being overly concerned over sexual sins, honestly Jesus did a whole lot more to protect those who had lustful sins from those who were supposedly “righteous” than anything else. The adulteress in the parable neither asked for nor received forgiveness for a sin she did not commit. Jesus simply failed to condemn her, making even forgiveness unnecessary. Only in the face of judgment and condemnation does anyone need forgiveness. If you had been scolded by a “church authority” for suspicion of having (gasp) masturbated or doing “non-procreative sex acts” with your wife (btw “unitive” is also an allowed mode) Jesus would have been the first one to point out how you are honest compared to them.
Jesus taught us that the Eucharist was His Body. I don’t know that he spent a lot of time preaching about masturbation and sexual sins. He really wasn’t the moralistic tyrant that some Very Concerned Catholics wish or even believe He was.
My faith is very weak. I haven’t been to mass for months, and to be honest I am now nervous about returning to the same church and having to explain to people where I have been.
Dude if anybody expects an explanation from you, you can tell them, “yes I was away for a while and I’m glad to be back.” You don’t owe anybody any explanation, although technically you should confess having missed Mass before you go to the Eucharist. I do not judge your opinions on what you and your wife do in private, so I have no opinion on that part of it vis-à-vis confessing it.
Even when I was attending mass, I did not pray on a regular basis because I don’t know how to. I end up saying some set prayers like Hail Holy Queen, the Our Father, Hail Mary and the Apostles Creed, then just kind of reel off a wish list which I’m sure is not how it’s supposed to work. Then when the things on the list don’t happen, I start to question if my prayers are being listened to which is completely unfair on my part. Any advice on how to pray properly would be appreciated.
It sounds like you have been sold “Churchianity” in place of “Christianity”. There is no requirement for you to be an expert at praying. In fact, most Catholics don’t even realize that the most “advanced” form of praying is contemplative, and is completely silent. If you want to read about that, check out
CCC 2700-2724 on “expressions of prayer.”
Also you might benefit from a simple, straightforward book on Catholic prayer, written by a Jesuit and used as a text for my son’s intro to prayer class at Kenrick-Glennon Seminary a couple years ago. It is easy to read, and covers prayers starting from 1) talking at God, through 2) talking to God, through 3) listening to God, and 4) Being with God.
It even has an audible version narrated by the author!
Armchair Mystic: Easing Into Contemplative Prayer Paperback – April 1, 2001
by Mark E. Thibodeaux S.J. (Author)
It also has a wonderful section on distractions and how to deal with them. The short answer is there is no “wrong” way to pray. That said, I’m a 56 year old active Cradle Catholic, and frankly I don’t care about saying the Rosary. And you know what? I don’t have to because these are all optional devotions. I’ve taken verbal abuse from others who tell me how non-Catholic I am, or how I’m disobeying “our Lady” and other outrageous claims because they think everybody has to look and be the same. You pray how you want to, and don’t let any More Catholic Than You people intimidate you. You owe nobody an explanation, although I recommend establishing a relationship with your pastor where you can talk to him about things outside of the confessional. I’ve had two pastors like that, and one I couldn’t so it’s about personalities. Funny thing – people who shunned me and thought I was crazy, suddenly now with a son in seminary they change their whole demeanor toward me. And I’m talking about people in positions of power in the diocese. Don’t judge yourself by their pretentious behavior or their holy demeanor.
Good luck, and I see your humility and vulnerability in writing these things.
I’d write more but I need to log off for now so I’ll leave it here for a while.
