I've tried

[TOP]

I’ve tried to be a good christen. I firmly believe in God and have faith in Jesus, but I have no love. Without love, obedience fails. Worse, a grudge leads to unrepentant sins and damnation. I’ve reached out to Priest, to Dr.s, to family, to be only humiliated, unbelieved and cast aside. I thought I could count on my love, but it has betrayed me. Now the viper is coiled and ready to bite. One more poke with a stick and the poisen will flow. Tim

 

[beckycmarie]

What do you mean by having no love? Right now it sounds like you’ve lost hope.

 

[LindaS]

Dear Friend,

Love is a decision, not a feeling. You choose to behave in loving ways or in unloving ways. Loving way, you bite your tongue when a sharp remark comes to you. Unloving way, you make the sharp remark. Love is a decision one makes daily, and many times each day. It is awfully hard to turn the other cheek, but Jesus asks us to do that, not for ourself or the other person, but for Him. Old saying: You may be the only Jesus a person meets. Keep loving the Lord and trying to please Him. Keep praying. Ask your patron saint to help. Timothy should be a good one to call on. After all, he had to deal with St. Paul regularly, and he wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, or so I hear!

Peace,
Linda

 

[AeroChunky]

Hi Linda.

I think what TOP is trying to say is that he made the descision to act lovingly, but the feelings behind it is not there.

To act lovingly is a descision, but Love is a feeling. It’s an emotion, it’s not something that you can force. Heck if we could force love, the world would be a happy place without divorce!

I can see what he means.

No matter how hard one tries, if you do not feel the love inside, the loving acts are hollow. And like he said, to go further, the acts done whilst not feeling the love inside gives rise to resentment.
This can be especially true for Catholics, sin ce we place such high emphasis on sacrifice, offering things up and good works.

Why should we keep sacrificing and continue to labour for someone that he does not love…that he feel no love for? Therein lies the issue.

TOP: Thank you for posting this. It’s great to get this off of your chest and talk about it.

TOP, this, of course, is the first place you need to focus on right now in your walk of faith.
I’d suggest go back to basics. Get to know Jesus. Read His words in the Bible. Try not to overthink the good works right now. Just get back to Jesus’ side.
Meditate on what He did for us…His teachings and His Passion. Once you firmly establish this, you will find it in you to love Him for his actions and sacrifice. Then you can step into the good works again.

Good luck!

 

[beckycmarie]

Dear TOP,

Here are a couple things that I’ve found encouraging: “God’s Answers” and “Who you are in Christ:”

God’s Answers

You say: It’s impossible.
God says: With Me, all things are possible. (Luke 18:27)

You say: I’m too tired.
God says: I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: Nobody really loves me.
God says: I love you. (John 3:16 & John 3:34 )

You say: I can’t go on.
God says: My grace is sufficient. (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: I can’t figure things out.
God says: I will direct your steps. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: I can’t do it.
God says: You can do all things. (Philippians 4:13)

You say: I’m not able.
God says: I am able. (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: It’s not worth it.
God says: It will be worth it. (Roman 8:28 )

You say: I can’t forgive myself.
God says: I forgive you. (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: I can’t manage.
God says: I will supply all your needs. (Philippians 4:19)

You say: I’m afraid.
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear. (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: I’m always worried and frustrated.
God says: Cast all your cares on Me. (I Peter 5:7)

You say: I’m not smart enough.
God says: I give you wisdom. (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: I feel all alone.
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)

I also recommend the information on Knowing Who You are in Christ of the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. To view, follow the link and scroll down to Step 5.

Here’s a preview of that information:

Step 5 — Know Who You Are in Christ!

In order to gain freedom it is important to know who you are in Christ. Thus you need to evaluate the concept you have of yourself, to acknowledge the truth about God and about yourself; about your relationship and ideas about God and about the manner of our lives.

We often deceive ourselves about our position in Christ and our relationship with Him. For example, we may say to ourselves: “This isn’t going to work” or “I wish I could believe this but I can’t” or perhaps even more direct deceptions or denials concerning the promises of God for His children. Areas of deception that we may have include:

Self-Deception (telling ourselves things that are not true)
Listening to God’s words but thinking we do not have to do it (Ja 1:22; 4:17)
Thinking we have no sin or do not sin (1 Jn 1:8)
Thinking that God has abandoned us (Rom 8:35, 37-39)
Thinking that God does not love us (John 3:16)
Thinking that God cannot or will not forgive us (1 John 1:9)
Thinking that we are something when we are not (Gal 6:3)
Believing that we will not reap what we sow (Gal 6:7)
Thinking we are wise and sophisticated in the 21st century (1 Cor 3:18, 19)
Believing that the unrighteous will reach heaven (1 Cor 6:9)
Thinking we can associate with bad company and not be corrupted (1 Cor 15:33)

Self-Defense (defending ourselves instead of trusting Christ)
Denial (conscious or subconscious)
Fantasy (escape from the real world)
Emotional insulation (withdraw to avoid rejection)
Regression (reverting back to a less threatening time in the past)
Displacement (taking out frustrations on others)
Projection (blaming others or accusing others of things we ourselves have done)
Rationalization (defending self though verbal excursion)

To counter these and other deceptions we tell ourselves we need to exercise faith. Faith is the response to Truth and believing the truth is a CHOICE (not a feeling). If we say, “I want to believe God, but I just can’t,” then we are deceiving ourselves. Of course we can believe God. We know that God does not lie. Faith is something we DECIDE to do; it is not something we FEEL like doing. Believing the truth does not make it true; rather it is TRUE, therefore we believe it.

-From the St. Pio Center for Deliverance Counseling

 

[mommyof4]

Tim, without knowing details, I’m in no position to give advice. I will say many prayers for you today, though!

Mary

 

[sawman]

Dear Tim,
Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. The more you rest in Him, the more His holy Spirit will work through you.

Peace!

 

[jc-servant]

I’ve tried to be a good christen. I firmly believe in God and have faith in Jesus, but I have no love. Without love, obedience fails. Worse, a grudge leads to unrepentant sins and damnation. I’ve reached out to Priest, to Dr.s, to family, to be only humiliated, unbelieved and cast aside. I thought I could count on my love, but it has betrayed me. Now the viper is coiled and ready to bite. One more poke with a stick and the poisen will flow. Tim

I’m not sure what your definition of love is when you say that you don’t have any? God is love! He will always love you even if everyone else around you is putting you down and kicking you. He made you wonderful and beautiful in His image and He loves you even when you cannot feel love for yourself or others.

You can make it through whatever tough situation you are in right now if you just hang on and don’t cut yourself off from God through unrepentant sin. Even if you have the same bad feelings a few minutes after confessing, it does not mean that you are not repentant when you go to confession. It may just mean that you are having a hard time with something that cannot be resolved quickly.

I’ve learned over the years that allowing other people to fill me with bad feelings and anger that I hold onto is like taking poison from their hand and drinking it. Now, I avoid the people who cannot seem to be decent when I’m able. I also do my best to not take nasty remarks or bad behavior personally because it is really about that nasty person, not me. I know that it is harder to deal with people like obnoxious or mean relatives who you cannot avoid.

I cannot tell from your post what the specific source of your distress might be, but I will pray for God to pour out His grace upon you and let you feel the love of the Holy Spirit surrounding you. As you can see, there are other people here who are also praying for you even though they don’t know your face or your specific situation. This is an act of love especially for you, our brother in Christ!

 

[MarcoPolo]

I’d recommend reading the spiritual letters of Padre Pio, or Mother Theresa.

 

[TOP]

I have writing about ten response’s just to end up deleting them. I don’t know what to say. I haven’t been to confession because I’m not sure I’m going to go back to church again and that would be an invalid confession. I’m angry. I just went through a minor exorcism as a godparent in the Byzantine rite. I fell hard the next day and I’ve been getting worse since. Something is very wrong with me. Tim

 

[mommyof4]

I have writing about ten response’s just to end up deleting them. I don’t know what to say. I haven’t been to confession because I’m not sure I’m going to go back to church again and that would be an invalid confession. I’m angry. I just went through a minor exorcism as a godparent in the Byzantine rite. I fell hard the next day and I’ve been getting worse since. Something is very wrong with me. Tim

Tim, I’m praying very hard for you right now.

Mary

 

[Ted_in_Charlott]

Tim, without knowing details, I’m in no position to give advice. I will say many prayers for you today, though!

Mary

Me too. I can feel your pain in your writing. I ask God to stop your pokes…Let’s pray the Our Father together:

When we pray the Our Father, remember He is OUR Father. He gives us other people to help us.

Who ART in heaven. We are God’s art, his masterpiece, his true love and joy.

Hallowed by thy name. God’s name is sacred three times holy. But He knows your name too. He made you and He wants to
be there for you right now.

Thy Kingdom come. We are not of this world, a better time and place is coming!

Thy will be done. It will no matter want. This is just a call for us to get on God’s train.

Your homework for tonight is to finish the Our Father putting yourself right in the middle of a relationship with the loving eternal merciful God of Creation and His Son Jesus Christ. I hope you will feel better tomorrow.

 

[TOP]

Tim, I’m praying very hard for you right now.

Mary

Thanks Mommy. You have been a good friend and know what I have been through. I don’t forget my friends. Tim

 

[mommyof4]

Thanks Mommy. You have been a good friend and know what I have been through. I don’t forget my friends. Tim

If it helps at all, I’ve asked my guardian angel and the Blessed Mother to come to your assistance.

Mary

 

[DJgang]

The only advice that I have is to surrender your anger to God. Tell Him that it’s out of your control and the He has to be the one to give you the love and compassion.

You sound like my husband…I must be honest.

My DH is a believer, but he has a hard time getting an ounce of compassion for anyone outside of his immediate family, even me.

I will ask Padre Pio to pray for you.

God bless.

 

[Deacon_Ed_B]

You will remain in my prayers. If you are familiar with the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, pray it regularly. It is a most awesome devotion and way of life. Just type in The Chaplet of Divine Mercy on your search bar on the computer. It will take you to it. It is easy to learn. Pray it regularly. It does not take long, and amazing things will happen. Not my promise, but Jesus’
Prayers & blessings
Deacon Ed B

 

[TOP]

You will remain in my prayers. If you are familiar with the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, pray it regularly. It is a most awesome devotion and way of life. Just type in The Chaplet of Divine Mercy on your search bar on the computer. It will take you to it. It is easy to learn. Pray it regularly. It does not take long, and amazing things will happen. Not my promise, but Jesus’
Prayers & blessings
Deacon Ed B

I have a devotion to St. Faustina and have read and refered to her diary often. She is one of my favorite Saints and as the secretary of mercy , had a hand in an experience I had. Thanks, Tim

 

[MarcoPolo]

Hey TOP, I think you have recognized a very important aspect and that is the devilish influence. I think it is the devil’s whisper to keep you from confession. I think you should go to confession understanding that by the grace of God, even if you don’t think you will go to mass again, He could help you get there after confession.

Our lives are falling and getting up over and over. A priest told me in the confessional not long ago, “God appreciates our efforts.” I would not say there is something “wrong” with you. You are a child of God fighting the battle not against flesh and blood. You are not alone in this endeavor. None of us are. We are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.

 

[Deacon_Ed_B]

good advice
Prayers & blessings
Deacon Ed B

 

[St_Gabriel]

TOP,

I’m praying for you. Please, don’t despair. God is working through you even though you may not feel it.

Blessed is a man who preserves until trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

James 1:12