Jerusalem AD 33

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A report circulating through parts of the city this morning that the tomb of Jesus of Nazareth, crucified by the Romans just three days ago, was found empty has left people amazed and fearful.
 
A report circulating through parts of the city this morning that the tomb of Jesus of Nazareth, crucified by the Romans just three days ago, was found empty has left people amazed and fearful.
JERUSALEM, 18 NISAN
The Roman Procurator and the leading religious officials of the Holy Temple released a statement condemning this rumor and calling on the populace to stop spreading such stories. While the Temple spokesperson refused to confirm or deny the rumor, he did confirm that some members of the Temple guard were being disciplined for sleeping while on watch, although the spokesperson said this was a matter unrelated to the rumored empty tomb. A ranking member of the Sanhedrin, speaking anonymously because he was not authorized to speak to the press, noted that if in fact the tomb was empty, it was likely that the body was stolen. This same member also called on the population of Jerusalem not to spread “baseless rumors,” and to remain calm in the light of potential action by the Roman garrison.

Attempts to contact members of the Nazorean’s “inner circle” to clarify the situation were unsuccessful. There are reports the members have gone into hiding; however, some witnesses have reported seeing some of the members running to and from the tomb, appearing happy or dazed. Others have reported seeing the Nazorean alive in different parts of Jerusalem, although there are official reports that he died during crucifixion. At press time, one report reached Jerusalem that two of his followers met the Nazorean while traveling to Emmaus; however, this report cannot be confirmed and the witnesses are considered unreliable, due to their previous relationship with the Nazorean.

Further details will be released as they become available.
 
For accurate updates, please do not tune in to MSNBC.
Stay tuned to CAF
 
Ans everybody sings ALLELLUHIA!!! (Did I spell that right)?
 
Dateline Jerusalem,
This just in. A prophet from Galilee, known of Jesus of Nazareth, son of Joseph the Carpenter, has been reported to have been seen alive by dozens of his former followers, less than 2 weeks after his crucifixion and death at the hand of the roman guard. One follower, who asked not to be identified, said " Well I was visiting a friend, and then came back to the room where the rest of us were hiding. They said Jesus came to them. I laughed it off, since he was dead, and told them I would believe if I could feel his scars and wounds. The next night at dinner, we were all there and suddenly He appeared, and said to me, ’ feel my scars and the wound in my side. Do not doubt,but believe.’ that is when I knew He was alive. " Well that’s all for now, this is Luke, for dateline, signing out.
 
For accurate updates, please do not tune in to MSNBC.
Stay tuned to CAF
Why? What’s wrong with MSNBC?

takes a look
MSNBC coverage continues around the clock here about this myogynistic new movement called Christianity, who refuses to ordain women priests due to their sexism.
Oh.

C’mon, CNN will be better.
CNN reports about the homophobic new religion called Christianity
Oh.

Well, let’s see what PBS has to say, surely they’re better.
PBS: Today, we celebrate the death of Christianity, as hate groups should basically die.
Oh…
 
This just in:

A witness which remains anonomys for now has stated that he, himself, has seen this Jesus of Nazareth Who was crucified, died and was buried. He says that Jesus is not a ghost, but a Person with true flesh. He says that he was skeptical when the followers of Jesus said that Jesus had risen, but that later he saw Jesus himself, and that he put his fingers into the nail holes in Jesus’ hands.

He proclaims that Jesus is God.

Hopefully, there will be more information on this ongoing story.
Stay tuned to Fr. Corapi live from EWTN.

This is Cherie, coming to you from Louisiana…proclaiming that the evidence presented proves that Jesus of Nazareth is Christ the Lord.
 
Coming up on EWPN: (Eternal Word Parchment Network)

An interview with Dr. Raymondus Guarendius about how psychologically beneficial this new Christian religion will be.

On “The World Over Live” Raymondus Arroyus interviews two followers of the new faith who got back from Emmaus.

On “The Journey Home” Marcus Grodius interviews Simon of Cyrene and his two sons.

On Vatican Insider, Joan Lewis interviews Pope Peter about his amazing story.
 
He lives! Praise God, he lives!
Sir, this is Cherie from Louisiana. I have heard your proclamation. May I ask what makes you believe as you do? Have you been a witness to the Resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth? And if so, will you go on record to give an interview of your testimony?
 
He lives! Praise God, he lives!
Sir, this is Cherie from Louisiana. I have heard your proclamation. May I ask what makes you believe as you do? Have you been a witness to the Resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth? And if so, will you go on record to give an interview of your testimony?
Pray, sir, do tell! Inquiring minds (and more than a few Roman centurions and some members of the Sanhedrin) want to know!
 
I have seen him in the smile of a newborn baby. I have seen him in the beauty of his creation. I have seen him in the action of others who care for their fellow man. I have seen him in the eyes of dying men who look up with a knowing smile and reach for him. I have seen him in the Eucharist through the eyes of faith. I have felt him when he comes to me in the Eucharist. I have seen him through the person of the priest when he speaks the words of absolution. Praise God, - I have seen him.
 
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