Jesus ate only 3 times, never bathed, and never used the bathroom

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exoflare:
The scary thing is, I can’t tell whether he’s joking or serious :confused:
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Hi Exo, You know very well that fear and confusion are not of the Lord. :eek: I think I,ll keep you guessing. 😃 God Bless
 
Well, well! Somebody has a sense of humor! And some Catholics take themselvers WAY to seriously!

By the way, some concepts that are NOT in the bible: the concept of the Trinity, the Immaculate Conception, the Assumption; some concepts that are IN the Bible: to stone prostitutes; to kill those who believe in other gods; to stone adulterers…
 
If we go from that point of view, then that means, Jesus only ate a few times, even if inferred. The wedding feast of Cana, The feeding of the multitude and the last supper, since it’s not in the Bible that he ate any other time, and if we go by “sola scriptura” then that means in 33 years, Jesus hardly ate, and that means his fast in the wilderness was nothing extraordinary.
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Jesus would have been smelly too, since he never bathed, it’s not in the Bible, in fact in the Bible the only thing we ever read that got washed was His feet.
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Finally, poor Jesus must have suffered from some rare form of constipation, although since he hardly ate, he didn’t have to go to the bathroom much, but since it’s not in the Bible well it must have never happened.
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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I would like to thank this poster for the long and loud guffaw this produced from me when I read it. 😃
 
Oh yeah?? I’ll show you a thing or two gelsbern!!😃 :whacky:

In Matthew 11:19 Jesus says "The Son of Man came, eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners’.

Now I’m gonna start a new denomination 'cause you got it all wrong. To become a member you need to be a ‘glutton’, ‘drunkard’, and work for the tax department.
 
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dnewbern:
Great post–I’ll have to remember this one.

One point on eating is the Eucharist, and what IS in the Bible is the statement that whosoever does NOT eat his flesh and drink his blood shall not have eternal life—many fundamentalists have that phrase crossed out in their Bibles.
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Oddly enough, this passage is taken by them metaphorically, yet they reject taking such things as the stories of Adam and Eve and the “talking serpent,” and Noah’s ark any other way but literally. If the author(s) of John 6 wanted it to be taken metaphorically, they would have had Jesus say so after the Jews inquired, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” Instead, Jesus repeats the significance of the point, even stating that his flesh and blood are “real” (not metaphorical) food and drink. A metaphorical saying is not hard to accept in this case. A literal one certainly is hard to accept as the disciples gathered understood (St. John 6:60).
 
Lost&Found:
Oh yeah?? I’ll show you a thing or two gelsbern!!😃 :whacky:

In Matthew 11:19 Jesus says "The Son of Man came, eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners’.

Now I’m gonna start a new denomination 'cause you got it all wrong. To become a member you need to be a ‘glutton’, ‘drunkard’, and work for the tax department.
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When you do, I have a great name for it:

The Church of Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy.:rotfl:
 
I have engaged in many discussions about the bible as sole authority over the years. This is a most disingenious argument! First of all who defined what was genuine from the dirth of apocrophal writings in the early centuries of the church? The church did of course. St. Paul says to hold fast to these traditions that we have passed on to you. 2nd Timothy says that the Church is the pillar and foundation of the truth. Moreover did God really deprive the multitude of believers access to the Word until the Guttenburg press was invented? Add to this that the reformers who changed words, deleted entire books and then insisted on a literal interpetation, what’s that??? No, the reason the bible alone proposition was advanced was to set up the principle of private judgement which has destroyed unity and trivialized our Faith. Either you have Faith or you have Private Judgement. Starting with Luther, who was a prototype case of “scrupulosity”, to Henry the VIII who the teaching authority of the church didn’t give enough room for his passions, to the nobles in England and Ireland who lusted after Church property, the whole thing has been a fraud since the beginning!!!
 
I wonder if God is sorry that the “bible” ever got put together? Like He is sorry for ever creating man, I can’t remember the passage but I’m sure you understand. I’m sure that all of this seperation on part pf people who whole heartily love the Lord Jesus is causing Him much pain and suffering! Because all he wants is for us to love Him and each other! Not to get into arguments over what He did or didn’t say! All of this only causes is hurt, confusion, anger, pride, self-rightousness, hate, malice, splitting up of families and more of the like. All of which are only pointing to one thing.The devil! As long as he has got all of us fighting over " He said " and " He meant this " we don’t see the one who is causing all of this division! So before the " bible " was put together what did the early christians have to go by? Think about that one? Since the early church didn’t have the " bible " to go by and only teachings and traditions does that mean they are all in hell? You tell me.
 
Not one word in our Bible was written by Jesus. He came into this world not to write a book, but to Create His Church. And the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
 
Not one word in our Bible was written by Jesus. He came into this world not to write a book, but to Create His Church. And the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
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:amen:
 
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mkw:
gelsbern…

Interesting observations, but I would imagine a protestant would return your volley with a simple…“That information is NOT needed for salvation”.
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LOL 😃
 
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Uracan:
Well, well! Somebody has a sense of humor! And some Catholics take themselvers WAY to seriously!

By the way, some concepts that are NOT in the bible: the concept of the Trinity, the Immaculate Conception, the Assumption; some concepts that are IN the Bible: to stone prostitutes; to kill those who believe in other gods; to stone adulterers…
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You’ve got a point there… :rolleyes:
 
Lost&Found:
Oh yeah?? I’ll show you a thing or two gelsbern!!😃 :whacky:

In Matthew 11:19 Jesus says "The Son of Man came, eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners’.

Now I’m gonna start a new denomination 'cause you got it all wrong. To become a member you need to be a ‘glutton’, ‘drunkard’, and work for the tax department.
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LOL!!! :rotfl:
 
Jeffrey Gordon:
I have engaged in many discussions about the bible as sole authority over the years. This is a most disingenious argument! First of all who defined what was genuine from the dirth of apocrophal writings in the early centuries of the church? The church did of course. St. Paul says to hold fast to these traditions that we have passed on to you. 2nd Timothy says that the Church is the pillar and foundation of the truth. Moreover did God really deprive the multitude of believers access to the Word until the Guttenburg press was invented? Add to this that the reformers who changed words, deleted entire books and then insisted on a literal interpetation, what’s that??? No, the reason the bible alone proposition was advanced was to set up the principle of private judgement which has destroyed unity and trivialized our Faith. Either you have Faith or you have Private Judgement. Starting with Luther, who was a prototype case of “scrupulosity”, to Henry the VIII who the teaching authority of the church didn’t give enough room for his passions, to the nobles in England and Ireland who lusted after Church property, the whole thing has been a fraud since the beginning!!!
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Dear friend

Excellent post. Non- Catholics pish at tradition but it is the tradition of the early Father’s of the Catholic church from which all Christianity is drawn from.

Before people stand and say they are right they need a good history lesson in the Church, but folks only think about the here and now and what their father and mother did, they don’t really think any further back than that. Plus if they do have a good history lesson they will say that the Church is in error and they are following the right way, it’s a losing battle with those who won’t budge.

The Catholic church is testimony to itself, without tradition there would be no Christinanity anywhere at all and Jesus created the church in those first Fathers, who by the way were Catholic 😃 .

There are plenty of things that are not in the bible but are evident in the early Church and are clearly Catholic, if they were not practiced then they would not be practiced now.

Some people take themselves too seriously, that is a result of pride, instead they should take the pursuit of truth seriously and make that their journey, but laugh at themselves along the way.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
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WhiteDove:
Ho, ho!!! 👍

Here’s a nice pic of it’s patron saint…
http://pages.prodigy.net/johnmariani/040510/FatTeddy1.jpg
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Say isn’t that Billie Hayes next to him in the character she played opposite Charles Nelson Reilly on the Sid and Marty Kroft Saturday Morning Spectacular in the early 70’s? Or maybe he tried out for the role of the Skipper on the Reality version of Gilligan’s Island, and was soundly rejected. Or, then again, maybe he’s seeking advice from some member of Al-Qaeda on how to best undermine America (he likes to do that on a regular basis in case anyone hasn’t noticed). I can hear it now, “Er ah Swami, how can I…er ah…lose some weight. I don’t want to go all…er ah…Karen Carpenter on you, just er ah…lose some poundage.”

Proof that a picture can say more than 1,000 words. You’re killing me. :rotfl:
 
Bill Connors:
Not one word in our Bible was written by Jesus. He came into this world not to write a book, but to Create His Church. And the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
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:amen:
 
Bill Connors:
Not one word in our Bible was written by Jesus. He came into this world not to write a book, but to Create His Church. And the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
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His words are written in our hearts,not pages. 😉 God Bless
 
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