Jokes about bad liturgical music

[carmelitenovice]

I love threads like these.

I think I’ve posted before about two things we’ve been afflicted with:

"Hallay, Hallay, Hallay

LOO oo ya!
Hallay, Hallay, Hallay

Loo oo ya!

Hallay, Hallay, Hallay

Loo oo ya!

Hallaylooya!
Hallaylooya.

When my husband sings it (as stress relief, he will purposely take the Loo oo ya up a couple of octaves! Part of the problem is that it was clearly a Southern Gospel song and up here in the north country, we are as white bread as they come.

I also detest this particular Holy, Holy Holy:

Holy Holy Holy
(echoes) Holy Holy Holy
Lord God of Power and Might
(echoes Lord God of Power and Might
Heaven, Heaven and Earth
(echoes) Heaven, Heaven and Earth
Are full of your glory
(echoes) Are full of your glory
Sing Hosanna
Sing Hosanna
Sing Hosanna
Sing Hosanna
Sing Hosanna
Sing Hosanna
Sing Alleluia
Sing Alleluia

Blessed Blessed is He
Blessed Blessed is He
Who Comes in the Name of the Lord
Who Comes in the Name of the Lord
Sing Hosanna
Sing Hosanna
Sing Hosanna
Sing Hosanna
Sing Hosanna
Sing Hosanna
Sing Alleluia
Sing Alleluia

This was nice the first time we did it at our Catholic school Mass. However, after hearing it week after week after week for years, the kids now sing it in a monotone and it just sounds dreadful (think of the teacher in Ferris Bueller ('Bueller." “Bueller.” “Bueller.”) and you get the idea.

I detest Lord of the Dance. I picture Jesus and the Apostles in River Dance and just about lose it.

I have to giggle every time we do “We come to the Feast” because there’s a line about “The Fabric of Our Lives” (like the old cotton commercial).

I agree with the comments about Here I am Lord and the Brady Bunch. Was that the one in which another thread noted a similarity between a hymn and The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald – or maybe a different song.

One last one (though I’ll think of more in a bit, I’m sure). Our music minister, in his effort to be more “relevant,” I’m sure, always refers to the recessional as either “our journeying song” or “our journey song”. I’m was a teen in the ‘80s, so the only Journey song that would fit would be "Don’t Stop Believin’" (I guess). If it’s a journeying song, shouldn’t it be one of those pirate ditties from Pirates of Penzance (or perhaps 100 bottles of beer on the wall," we sang that in the car on vacations.) LOL!

Love the other comments.

 

[pnewton]

One last one (though I’ll think of more in a bit, I’m sure). Our music minister, in his effort to be more “relevant,” I’m sure, always refers to the recessional as either “our journeying song” or “our journey song”. I’m was a teen in the ‘80s, so the only Journey song that would fit would be "Don’t Stop Believin’" (I guess). If it’s a journeying song, shouldn’t it be one of those pirate ditties from Pirates of Penzance (or perhaps 100 bottles of beer on the wall," we sang that in the car on vacations.) LOL!

Does Journey have a Mass setting I could try?

 

[The_Reginator]

There is a time during Mass in which I could would appreciate some really bad liturgical music.
About half-way through the sermon. :yawn:

Like the time the folk choir thought that a nice big boom on the drum was an appropriate way to end the Memorial Acclamation. THAT gave me a bit of a jolt.

(It doesn’t matter how interesting the sermon is. Sitting still on a Sunday morning listening to someone talk has a certain effect on me …)

 

[jayk15]

This one hymn: Please break this bread Lord doesn’t appeal to me and then there’s this one slaughtered version of the Sanctus sometimes used: Holy holy holy holy holy holy Lord God Almighty as we lift our hearts before you as a token of our love holy holy holy holy

 

[Trinity117]

There is a time during Mass in which I could would appreciate some really bad liturgical music.
About half-way through the sermon. :yawn:

Like the time the folk choir thought that a nice big boom on the drum was an appropriate way to end the Memorial Acclamation. THAT gave me a bit of a jolt.

(It doesn’t matter how interesting the sermon is. Sitting still on a Sunday morning listening to someone talk has a certain effect on me …)

In TOTAL agreement. . . I do NOT go to Mass to be startled out of my seat! Thanks for the giggle. . .!

 

[Joe_Kelley]

One that always bothers me is Song of the Body of Christ

We come to share our story,
we come to break the bread,
we come to know our rising
from the dead.

I can’t avoid remembering a play from the I saw in the sixties Six Characters in Search of an Author. Apparently it is from the 20’s.

The play begins with an acting company preparing to rehearse a play, incidentally one of Pirandello’s own, Mixing It Up. As the rehearsal is about to begin the play is unexpectedly interrupted by the arrival of six strange people. The Director of the play, furious at the interruption, demands an explanation. The Father reveals themselves as unfinished characters in search of an author to finish their story. The Director initially believes them to be mad, but as they begin to argue amongst themselves and reveal details of their story he begins to listen. While he isn’t an author, the Director agrees to stage their story despite the disbelief amongst the jeering actors. . . .