Just broke up with pro-choice girlfriend

[3DOCTORS]

Wait… just to be clear…

Did you break up with her because you realized your heart just wasn’t in the relationship, or did you break up with her because she happened to have different opinions than you?

If it’s the former, fine. If you really don’t love her, it’s better for both of you to part ways. If it’s the latter, then all I can say is there’s probably a reason you feel horrible about it. You should meditate and pray to discover what is truly troubling your heart. This is a question for your heart, your spirit, and your God, not for a bunch of strangers on the Internet who don’t know what you truly feel inside.

It sounds to me like he used his rational mind to make a wise decision. “Following your heart” is a concept that can be dangerously over-romanticized in today’s society, and lead to some unwise decisions. I think in this case it’s better that he followed his head first, and now can work on healing his heart/emotions.

Love is a verb, a commitment, not just a warm fuzzy feeling or an erotic attraction. Those things can be in a courtship and later a marriage (sexual attraction before marriage is not wrong, but fornication is; and once married the couple can give full expression to their mutual attraction in its proper context).

He can treat this young lady as a sister in Christ and may ultimately be helping her to get to heaven better than if they’d gone ahead with the relationship with the big division on major issues. That’s what real love is all about.

 

[bsf]

OP has been silent for a bit. Hope he is doing well.

Some have indicated disagreement on abortion should not be a “dealbreaker”.

Consider what Gary Chapman has written on spiritual compatibility.

Our view of spirituality greatly influences the way we lead our lives.

Therefore, when couples are contemplating marriage, religion needs to be near the top of the list in matters that need to be discussed. The question is, “Are our spiritual beliefs compatible?” or, “Are we marching to the beat of the same drummer?” Few things have the potential for causing marital conflict more than divergent spiritual views. That is why most world religions encourage their adherents to marry within their own religious tradition. In the Christian faith, the scriptures admonish, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with and unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?” These are cogent questions and the wise couple will not avoid them. 1

To marry simply because you are “in love” and to ignore the implications of these spiritual differences are signs of immaturity. 2

For many dating couples, spirituality is an unexplored topic. They simply assume that this area of life will take care of itself after marriage. Others who openly discuss matters of spirituality often ignore the warning signs. They are so in love with each other, enjoy being with each other, and can see themselves making each other happy for the rest of their lives, and they close their eyes to huge differences in their views of spirituality. 3

Because our religious beliefs affect all of life, it is very important that we explore the foundation of spiritual compatibility before we make the commitment to marriage. 4

1 Gary D. Chapman, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, (Chicago, Northfield Publishing, 2010), pp.119.
2 Ibid., p. 120
3 Ibid., p. 122
4 Ibid., p. 123