Just need to hear from anyone

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Mr_Lonely

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Hi all,

I’m depressed, with trust issues, due to countless times of betrayal. People hurt me, I take the high road, but the anger develops within. I don’t want the anger getting out, but I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m married with kids, and all my energy goes to being fake and trying to be strong so I can support and provide for them.

My wife had also betrayed me before. To the point where I considered divorce, but then thought of the kids. I’m trying to learn to trust her again, but it’s hard. For that matter, I’d like to just trust in general, again…My kids, BTW, are autistic. FML, right? Yah, I know I’m selfish, but besides my own ego, I constantly worry about how my kids will be when they grow up. How will they survive? Who will take care of them?.

I want to be a good Catholic, but part of me is mad at God for making my kids Autistic. Yes, I do blame God a little. Not so much as He singled my kids to be Autstic, but more of a “why me?” type thing. In spite of all this, I still want to have good relationship with God. Just being honest…

I’m estranged from my extended family, and they continue to slander me. Once again…FML! Classic case of bad things happen to good people.

With no one close to me to confide in, or trust, what am I to do? When you don’t have anyone close to you, at least to me, the only thing left is the kindness of strangers.

What would you say to me? I welcome all (name removed by moderator)ut/suggestions/prayers.

Thanks.
 
Mr_Lonely said:
I’m depressed, with trust issues, due to countless times of betrayal.
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Are you certain of this? Can you truly be surrounded by backstabbers? Foundering in their ocean of deceit? Or, is this how you have perceived certain situations? You might consider that it is a thought process that you engage in which leads you to this conclusion. Not saying that others in your life are without fault, but it does seem a possibility that you are perceiving things other than how they truly are. Even your username is revealing. Rather than opening up anonymously to internet strangers, have you considered or sought out counseling or psychotherapy?
 
Let it wash over you and through you, it will not hurt you, when it has passed, only you will remain!

Prayers for you.
 
po18guy said:
Are you certain of this? Can you truly be surrounded by backstabbers? Foundering in their ocean of deceit? Or, is this how you have perceived certain situations? You might consider that it is a thought process that you engage in which leads you to this conclusion. Not saying that others in your life are without fault, but it does seem a possibility that you are perceiving things other than how they truly are. Even your username is revealing. Rather than opening up anonymously to internet strangers, have you considered or sought out counseling or psychotherapy?
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You make a very good point. Yes, I do concede that I can be a pessimist at times, let me qualify the statement a little by being more specific…"I have been betrayed by everyone close to me. (i.e. every member of my immediate family with the exception of my kids. That includes mom, dad, brother, sister, wife, former best friends, spiritual community, wife, etc). While that might seem that maybe the issue is with me than with everyone else, trust me. If you knew the circumstances or details of the actual betrayal events, you would think I’m the most unlucky person in the world. Perception could be the issue, but that’s merely a side effect of what I have gone through.

And yes, I have sought (or seeking) counseling. Haven’t found a therapist that “fits” yet.
 
Therapy is good, but sometimes meds can help too - as per your doctor’s advice, of course. Its not ideal, I know, but I speak from experience, it can really change your life. Sometimes you have to do do what you have to do to protect your family - speaking as one stressed out dad to another.

God bless,
Ut
 
If you don’t want to commit adultery-than why don’t you stop?? Because you don’t know how?? Everything is a choice-even bad choices unless you are forced to make bad choices. It doesn’t sound like you were forced to commit adultery. Slander? Perhaps because of your life style. Your wife has not given you the trust and support you desire? Again-life style? God is the blame for your children being autistic? God creates life-may not be perfect in the eyes of the beholder, but it is life with heart and soul.

I believe you are depressed and need to seek consoling and consuling. Prayers we can give you-lots of prayers. We can give you lots of free advice, too. However, the Internet and CF can not get you the conculing or professional help that you need I will pray for you. It is the best I know how to do. Oh< I know…I can’t spell.
 
Mary_Estelle said:
If you don’t want to commit adultery-than why don’t you stop?? Because you don’t know how?? Everything is a choice-even bad choices unless you are forced to make bad choices. It doesn’t sound like you were forced to commit adultery. Slander? Perhaps because of your life style. Your wife has not given you the trust and support you desire? Again-life style? God is the blame for your children being autistic? God creates life-may not be perfect in the eyes of the beholder, but it is life with heart and soul.

I believe you are depressed and need to seek consoling and consuling. Prayers we can give you-lots of prayers. We can give you lots of free advice, too. However, the Internet and CF can not get you the conculing or professional help that you need I will pray for you. It is the best I know how to do. Oh< I know…I can’t spell.
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I’m sorry, but I’m not sure where you got Adultery from what I stated. Adultery is not in the picture in my case. Please don’t jump to conclusions as it is highly offensive to assume I am an Adulterer here. I’ll chalk it up to a misread for now…

That said.thank you for (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
Mr_Lonely said:
I’m sorry, but I’m not sure where you got Adultery from what I stated. Adultery is not in the picture in my case. Please don’t jump to conclusions as it is highly offensive to assume I am an Adulterer here. I’ll chalk it up to a misread for now…

That said.thank you for (name removed by moderator)ut.
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I think she got her responses confused! There is another thread yhat would have been an appropriate answer! She’s really a nice person!

Fergot some prayers…

Our Father
Hail Mary x10
Glory Be
Fatima
Amen
 
Crusaderbear said:
I think she got her responses confused! There is another thread yhat would have been an appropriate answer! She’s really a nice person!
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I’m sure she is. My luck has been so terrible lately, I wouldn’t be too surprised if someone just randomly started accusing me of being an Adulterer.

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
Keep looking for a good therapist and give them all a chance before you reject them. You will find out many things about yourself that you won’t like and won’t want to hear, but that happens to everyone in therapy; you have to take the garbage out before you can start over. It took you many years to get to this point and it will take a long time and hard work on your part to deal with it and feel better. It can be done and you can do it. 🙂
 
Mr. Lonely: If I misread your post I do apologize. I have cloudy vision due to glucoma. I am truly sorry and yes, I will pray for you. Peace.
 
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