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CWBetts
Guest
This thread has exploded! It was like on page 2 when I left for Mass!! Seems to me to be alot of discussion about how to handle someone being rude.
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JadeStarr
Guest
There’s a good point, the old lady may have NEEDED that seat to be at ease with herself.
And OCD folks tend to be pretty nasty when they feel threatened.
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JadeStarr
Guest
I noticed that, good job for Newsguy. Apparently we have all been in these situations.
It’s like a form of road rage I guess.
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pnewton
Guest
Don’t. Not one person here should judge your emotions. They are a reasonable response to be bullied. That being said, any action you take is better taken without anger. If that is not possible, then at least without anger deciding your action.
This verse is not about being a doormat, although many a person has done that to justify all sort of sin committed against them. The Romans, by law, had the legal right to slap someone once. I could well say, in according to the Golden Rule, that if I was out of line and behaved like a boor, that I would want the person I mistreated to call me on it. I am very familiar with Matthew 5. There is nothing in there that would prevent one from taking a measured resonse in this situation.
To the OP. If this continues to eat at you, discuss it with your pastor. If it was me, I would use the name of the person. If she did this to you, she likely has done it before, or will do it again. The pastor needs to be aware if he has someone in the church that is running people off so he can address it, or not, at his discretion.
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jpjd
Guest
Note to self: do not look up when tapped on shoulder while kneeling in prayer.
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Advocatus_Fidei
Guest
And what if the next person getting tapped on the shoulder by this lady suffers from Dementia or OCD then what?
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catharina
Guest
Can’t speak for the UK …
but here in the States the Blessed Sacrament is present before Mass.
To indulge in arguing in that circumstance is pointless.
Humility says: “Move over.”
Humility has everything to do with it!
These folks were in the presence of God.
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rayne89
Guest
If I was caught in such a situation I would not move because of cowardice I would move out of deference to the fact that we before the blessed sacrament, in God’s house and am blessed enough to have the faith I do to be there in the first place. I have no rights to what God gives me, only the privilege that he sees fit that I can make it Mass every Sunday. If sends me an ornery woman to unseat me I will move (or free will allows this woman to behave in such a way I will also move). We are transported to Calvary at Mass where Christ suffered humiliation and excruciating pain, I think I can sacrifice my seat. If it were somewhere else it would be different. I have no problem standing up for myself when I feel bullied.
And you have no right to presume the OP is a coward. You need to examine your own conscience. “Have I unjustly or rashly accused others?” We are to presume the best of people not the worst.
Your reaction and calling this woman evil and expecting someone to dig their heels in at church over a pew seat is enough for non-Catholics reading on this forum to shake their heads and think Catholic’s are prideful and uncharitable.
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catharina
Guest
I too have attended Mass in the interim.
Beautiful, holy, peaceful, inspiring, uplifting.
No territorality observed - though I don’t do focused observations!
First reading: Abraham, welcoming the stranger.
Second reading: Our Lord with Mary and Martha.
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cyberwolf001
Guest
So she interrupts your prayers to make you move from the seat you are using because it is “HERS” now see at one Parish I went to I had this problem a lot. Can’t see there that is the so and so family’s pew, and this is the pew for this and this’ family.
Dr. X sits here and that is the seat of old Ms. Y.
I had a time trying to find a place to sit, thankfully the New Priest there put a stop to it when he heard me getting yet another dressing down for sitting in a seat belonging to yet ANOTHER person.
Heck when I was Catholic on old man stared me down in line for taking “his sons spot in line” yet he hadn’t been in line when I walked in and yeah he was ready to physically strike me over this.
At the Pagan events I go to we all understand slots are first come and first serve an if you leave your slot it is open. Although you can save for friends generally speaking but if that friend is dragging there tail it is fair game.
Dr. X sits here and that is the seat of old Ms. Y.
I had a time trying to find a place to sit, thankfully the New Priest there put a stop to it when he heard me getting yet another dressing down for sitting in a seat belonging to yet ANOTHER person.
Heck when I was Catholic on old man stared me down in line for taking “his sons spot in line” yet he hadn’t been in line when I walked in and yeah he was ready to physically strike me over this.
At the Pagan events I go to we all understand slots are first come and first serve an if you leave your slot it is open. Although you can save for friends generally speaking but if that friend is dragging there tail it is fair game.
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rayne89
Guest
The fact that you see no difference between a line at the grocery, a library book, or seats at Mass explains a lot.
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catharina
Guest
I agree, rayne.
The most important part of the “issue” is that it took place
in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. All else is chaff, IMO.
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Miserys_Fence
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catharina
Guest
My apologies to you for any such hurts that came to you from any Catholics.
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CWBetts
Guest
I think what they are getting at is that there is an objective difference between Mass and the grocery store. At the grocery store you are not in the presence of God in the same way.
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JRKH
Guest
Good advise
Agreed - The key phrase here being “measured” response. Which the OP did and was met with escalating anger, which he met by moving far away from the “source” of the issue - except of course that the issue followed him and interfered with his peace of mind. So that is what must be considered by the OP. 1) Why could he not let it go once it was over and 2) Why did it bother him so much that he felt the need to start a thread on the matter?
Very much agree with this. In Mt 18:15-18 we see that such conflicts can and should be addressed until they are resolved.
Peace
James
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LollilopLicker
Guest
First come, First served
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Miserys_Fence
Guest
Although the presence of God may be different at the grocery than at Mass, the logic is still the same. When there is no assigned seating, you sit where you choose and the first people there get first choice of seats–Mass or anywhere else. You are certainly welcome to offer the spot you have chosen to someone else, but you are under no obligation just because someone asks (or in this case, orders you to).
How respectful would Mass be if everyone just started ordering other people out of their seats because “I wanna sit there!”?? There’d never be any service, because people would be playing Musical Pews all day long.
Decorum has to start somewhere. At some point, someone needs to stand up and say “This is ridiculous–everyone sit where you are right now, nobody move, and if you’re not happy–TOUGH.”
As a mom, I’m very used to the being that someone.
Miz
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catharina
Guest
IMO, decorum at Mass, or simply in Church begins with graciousness, that is, with grace.Although the presence of God may be different at the grocery than at Mass, the logic is still the same. When there is no assigned seating, you sit where you choose and the first people there get first choice of seats–Mass or anywhere else. You are certainly welcome to offer the spot you have chosen to someone else, but you are under no obligation just because someone asks (or in this case, orders you to).
How respectful would Mass be if everyone just started ordering other people out of their seats because “I wanna sit there!”?? There’d never be any service, because people would be playing Musical Pews all day long.
Decorum has to start somewhere. At some point, someone needs to stand up and say “This is ridiculous–everyone sit where you are right now, nobody move, and if you’re not happy–TOUGH.”
As a mom, I’m very used to the being that someone.
Miz
At Mass especially, we are to be at peace with one another,
loving one another as we would hope to be loved.
At Mass, you are not mom or grandma or aunt susie.
The priest holds special significance.
The rest of us?
We are blessed to be there and should show some loving humility
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GraceSofia
Guest
Whoah, folks!
The OP has said nothing that indicates age discrimination.
I would suggest that it is possible that the opposite happened.
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