well she could read my whole response where I suggested she not feel under obligation to take them before she felt they were ready, and where I commended her for the way she is going about preparing them. If you have been on these forums for any length of time you already know I weigh in heavily on the side of welcoming children of all ages to Mass, but that is no reason to insist, as many forum members do, that parents are obligated to bring their youngest ones to Mass even when it means they don’t have a good experience themselves. It is also no reason to criticise how and when the parents choose to socialize their children for Mass participation.
I agree with this and believe it is a very balanced approach.
But who is to police whether there is some special medical or developmental issue?
LOL! Who are these children? Mine can sit quietly through anything they want to. Especially if it’s interesting. NOT MINE! No way no how. They are going on 6. If I took them seperately, they’d be fine. But together, well they are way to entertaining to each other. They actually did WAY better when they were 4. If available, look into the daycare, or Sunday school. My boys are learning so much in there! They LOVE it. And they are associating going to church with something they enjoy.
I have no problem if a child eats right before a Latin Mass. It seems as if your child has a whole half hour before Mass in which to eat. And I don’t know if the “culture” of your Eastern Church is accepting of children eating during Mass. But it’s generally not acceptable to eat during Latin Masses (with the exception of babies) and I think culture of rites should be respected.
My son is only 15 months old. To me, that ought to be considered young enough to eat during Divine Liturgy if he gets hungry, as opposed to dealing with the crying and screaming that would result if he were to get hungry during Divine Liturgy and my wife and I were to refuse to let him eat. As to your suggestion about the “whole half hour before Mass,” well, as I said, he’s only 15 months old. He eats when he’s hungry.
listen to these parents, they are describing their children, whom they know, and how they react, at their ages, in these sitautions, and what they have found works best for their family. These are learning to love going to church on Sunday and when they are school age and ready to begin preparing for sacraments can be prepared to transition to what our grandson calls big boy church. He was very proud when he started Catholic school and his poor little sister had to stay in the pre-school room. But he also came with a good knowledge of the Mass, what goes on, what to do in say, that is easier for the preschool catechist to transmit in an organized classroom, than for a parent in between shushing, trips to the bathroom, and cheerios. OP has chosen another very good way, and both these parents are wiser IMO than my parents who did impose rigid discipline at an early age in church but in the same harsh drill sergeant way they did in other situations. As I say repeatedly, find out what works with your kids, at their age now, with your family dynamics now, and don’t feel constrained to compare your kids to others, or to conform to some rule about it. \
I guess I am getting old.
Well, my wife and I do try to keep our son on some sort of schedule, and we prefer not to have to feed him during Divine Liturgy. However, we do not have multiple times to choose from for going to Divine Liturgy. Our parish, like most Eastern Catholic parishes, has one Divine Liturgy per Sunday. It generally lasts at least an hour and 15 minutes. While that is definitely not too long for a child to go without eating, it does fall during a time when our son may get hungry. Depending on exactly when he has his breakfast, how much he eats for breakfast, etc., he may or may not take a snack during a time frame that would keep him from getting hungry during Divine Liturgy. As he gets older, it will become less and less of an issue, but at 15 months, he can’t be reasoned with, he doesn’t understand the sense in which the time for Divine Liturgy is consecrated time that is set apart especially for worship, and I don’t see the sense in having him crying for food during Divine Liturgy, making it very difficult for my wife and me to worship, and disturbing the prayers of others. If we had more than one time for Divine Liturgy, perhaps it would be easier to avoid this problem. The only other option is for my wife and I to alternate Sundays and not take our son to Divine Liturgy. We are not willing to do this, and I don’t believe anyone at our parish (and least of all the pastor) expects us or any other parents of toddlers or infants to do so.
Wow… the response was amazing! I took the kids to mass again this a.m. and they did great (without suckers). We sat about 6 rows back and they did fidget a bit more than when we sat in the front row. Only problem is I know our priest would prefer if we sat towards the back with small kids. Less distractions the better. I will continue taking the kids to a.m. mass twice a week and then we’ll make it 3 times a week, etc. The more I thought about it … our priest would still frown upon toys, books, etc. Heaven forbid if they dropped the toy and made too much noise. So, we did it today and I did reward them with a sucker afterwards.
Puzzle… I was/am listening to these parents. My comment was with regard to yours that since a child can sit through a Disney movie, he can sit through Mass. I dare say they are NOT the same thing. Do not offer the same level of “entertainement”…
SMHW…IN GENERAL on demand feeding has much to do with avoiding obesity. As I’m sure you are aware, America is the fatest nation in the world. We over eat because we don’t actually pay attn. to our hunger cues. In fact most people don’t even know what hunger feels like. Most of us were raised to eat at a specific time with complete disregard to hunger. In fact, most of us were reminded of starving children in the world somewhere, and therefore we should clean our plate. Again with total disregard to our own actual hunger. We reward good behavior with treats (I’m guilty!), we try to sooth sadness with a treat etc. We turn food into something much more nutrition.
this is a great motivation for what you are doing, and having him along is going to help immensely. if you were one of my catechists and concerned about the same thing I would remind you to put family time as a top priority and consider giving up some of your activities if they make him feel excluded or intrude on family time. That is another personal decision you have to make in light of your knowledge of the needs of your own family.