I’ve had buddies, aquaintences and few close friends confide in me with their most personal issues over the years because I’ve got twenty-five plus years of marriage behind me and they know that I can keep my mouth shut.
The common thread that seems to run through all of these indiscretions whether they became full blown sexual relationships or just inappropriate emotional attachments to another woman is this: At some point after they got married, every single one of them felt as if they had lost their girlfriend. I always ask them that question. “When you got married, did you lose your girlfriend?” I’ve had buddies break down on me talking about feeling a sense of loss. They all regreted what they did.
I’m not talking about scumbags who hang out in bars and pick up one night stands while their wife is at home taking care of the children. These guys were good men who didn’t know how to confront the real issue. Many of them were afraid to bring it up with their wives. One guy who did bring it up was called “immature & selfish” because he wanted some alone time with her. His wife had school activites and kid’s sports scheduled nearly every single night including weekends.
None of these guys were proud of what they did. Every single one of them were lonely. Often times, a wife is overly involved with kids and their activities, relatives, work, friends whatever. The same thing happens to “sports widows”. The guy that spends too much time with his buddies on the weekend is asking for trouble. The man & wife relationship must come first or infidelity (on some level) is almost a guarantee.
No, you’re not a fool. You are angry and rightly so. But please step back from your anger for a few hours today and think about what I’ve written here.
God Bless you and your husband.
Prayers coming at ya!
