Kissing on the lips during the sign of peace

[JimG]

Okay, I’m willing to concede, and accept kissing as the sign of peace. In view of that, though, I do plan to change pews, and will try to be standing next to some attractive young women for the sign of peace in the future.

As to the length of the thread, I’ve noticed that on CAF, it is often the most minimally important discussions that tend to go on the longest.

 

[HoneyBea]

you sound like a wise man with a good back up plan.

 

[JimG]

you sound like a wise man with a good back up plan.

Yes, and I’m just hoping that it results in no adverse scenes or personal injuries! It would be entirely inappropriate for others to object to my preferred sign of peace!

 

[HoneyBea]

Yes, and I’m just hoping that it results in no adverse scenes or personal injuries! It would be entirely inappropriate for others to object to my preferred sign of peace!

At least you’ll be prepared

 

[ProVobis]

Okay, I’m willing to concede, and accept kissing as the sign of peace. In view of that, though, I do plan to change pews, and will try to be standing next to some attractive young women for the sign of peace in the future.

Yes, and I’m just hoping that it results in no adverse scenes or personal injuries! It would be entirely inappropriate for others to object to my preferred sign of peace!

Just make sure their husbands or boyfriends aren’t ushers or something like that. Otherwise you will be asking for peace, not giving it.

 

[Ophelia23]

Just make sure their husbands or boyfriends aren’t ushers or something like that.

Ha!!

 

[ProVobis]

I alsofind it odd that a loving husband and wife would just turn to nod at each other - it looks like there is a problem in the marriage!

Is Mass the place to be evaluating others’ marriages? I thought we’re there as a community with an obligation to attend Mass. Some may not like the Mass altogether and rather be somewhere else, so I certainly wouldn’t hold a non-kiss against them.

 

[Irishgal49]

From Catholic Answers staff Apologist (and she makes use of one document from the Church within):

“As for the sign of peace to be given, the manner is to be established by conferences of bishops in accordance with the culture and customs of the peoples. It is, however, appropriate that each person offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest and in a sober manner”(GIRM 82).

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=300671&highlight=kiss+of+peace

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=303622&highlight=sign+peace+married

I hate shaking hands (I watched someone sneezing into their hand and offered it to me) so I simply hold onto my prayer book and nod and say, “peace be with you”. Since I’m not married kissing really wouldn’t apply to me but I know it feels sad when all the couples around you are kissing each other but …such is life.

 

[jimkhong]

Is Mass the place to be evaluating others’ marriages? I thought we’re there as a community with an obligation to attend Mass. Some may not like the Mass altogether and rather be somewhere else, so I certainly wouldn’t hold a non-kiss against them.

Only find it odd when I know to couple to be close to each other. To each, their own I guess.

I just wish that we do not have to behave so differently outside of mass and inside of mass. Shouldn’t we be honest and have the culture at mass be a reflection of our lives outside of it (at least the better parts of live we aspire to) rather than to put on something artificial as if God didn’t know any different. But then, I guess there are other people around and better to pretend that a ritual is an appropriate substitute for what we really feel inside about peace to our fellow communicants.

At one point in our parish, the priest had to admonish parishioners who refused to follow instructions of our car parking ushers and abused them instead, to the point when all ushers walking out and we had no car park ushers. We still don’t have any volunteers directing traffic at Sunday mass - only paid church staff are doing it.

Sometimes, I wonder what is the point of debating the finer points of how the sign of peace ought to be exchanged when any sign of peace given by some people may not reflect inside of them, the peace that Jesus wishes to see.

I hope your parishes do not have this problem.

 

[GangGreen]

Sorry, but I’ve never heard of two spouses greeting each other by shaking their hands. Just sounds silly. A quick kiss on the lips or a hug shouldn’t be frowned upon by anyone.

 

[johnmann]

Shaking hands with a spouse is not an appropriate sign of peace!

Personally, I wish people would peck opposite sex family and close friends on the cheek, give same-sex family and close friends a bro-hug, and bow to all others.

 

[JimG]

Turning to the person next to you and saying “Peace be with you,” is an appropriate sign of peace, whether to a family member or a stranger.

 

[ProVobis]

Or “La paz” if you attend a Spanish Mass.

 

[JimG]

Or “La paz” if you attend a Spanish Mass.

Or “Shalom,” which is what I said to my fiancée the first time we ever had a congregational sign of peace at our then parish. She said, “What does that mean?” I said, “It means, peace.”

 

[Bookcat]

I hate shaking hands (I watched someone sneezing into their hand and offered it to me) so I simply hold onto my prayer book and nod and say, “peace be with you”. )

My wife and I -

We bow and smile and lift the hand…and say “peace of Christ be with you”…or “pax tecum” sometimes even on my part…

Very sober and reverent – I think fitting in liturgy.

I personally do not like the “handshake” for anyone…

 

[ProVobis]

Or “Shalom,” which is what I said to my fiancée the first time we ever had a congregational sign of peace at our then parish. She said, “What does that mean?” I said, “It means, peace.”

As Cardinal Arinze said on one of his videos, “Better leave them in peace than in pieces.” or something to that effect.

 

[pnewton]

‘In a sober manner’ does not involve kissing and hugging.

Sure it does, if you believe it to be. If you do not consider it sober, then it’s not. IN other words, once again, we have a “begging the question” argument. One cannot use one’s own opinion as support for one’s own opinion.

 

[HoneyBea]

So, I just wanted to share my experience the last 2 times I’ve been to mass. The first time I was alone, because my husband was gone and during the Peace offering I had to just stand there and wait for others around me to finish greeting their own families. I did remember feeling a teeny bit awkward, but I wasn’t offended or anything. I was however immediately reminded of what some of you brought up in this discussion…regarding how the sign of peace is meant for those around us. The second time I was with my husband and the entire pew behind us was empty and there was no one to our right and a huge family of 8-10 to the left. We patiently waited for them to finish and they had their backs to us the entire time and basically never got around to even offering us the sign of peace. I must admit for a slight second I was a bit hurt by that…just standing there waiting to offer my peace to someones back who never turned around. Both interesting experiences and have given me much to ponder. I told my husband in the car on the way home that I never want to do that to anyone. If we have a large family we will greet those around us first.

 

[ProVobis]

So, I just wanted to share my experience the last 2 times I’ve been to mass. The first time I was alone, because my husband was gone and during the Peace offering I had to just stand there and wait for others around me to finish greeting their own families. I did remember feeling a teeny bit awkward, but I wasn’t offended or anything. I was however immediately reminded of what some of you brought up in this discussion…regarding how the sign of peace is meant for those around us. The second time I was with my husband and the entire pew behind us was empty and there was no one to our right and a huge family of 8-10 to the left. We patiently waited for them to finish and they had their backs to us the entire time and basically never got around to even offering us the sign of peace. I must admit for a slight second I was a bit hurt by that…just standing there waiting to offer my peace to someones back who never turned around. Both interesting experiences and have given me much to ponder. I told my husband in the car on the way home that I never want to do that to anyone. If we have a large family we will greet those around us first.

Thank you for saying that.

Sometimes the best gift is the one that makes the other person feel good about himself/herself. And it costs very little.