Knocked up another girl

[Maximilan_Kolbe]

So thats how my fellow Catholics view this? Saying condoms should be used or anyone engaging in premarital sex has serious mental illness? Might want to check your catechism and your Bibles. Plenty of Gods right hand men screwed up in such a way…and the Church under NO circumstances says birth control is ok.

And as for my previous post I did not say “my wife”. I believe it was worded a tad differently.

You seem to only want to turn this into a debate about the morality of using birth control outside of marriage, presuming of course that it is inevitable people will “slip up.” Your post reeks of this. It seems you want a confrontation over that issue, and not simply support for your situation.

I will say a prayer for you and your child, but am not going to be goaded into a debate about the “best” way to lead a life when you choose to sin. We have all made mistakes in life, but that isn’t a prudential debate to have. It starts the discussion off on the completely wrong foot - “when I sin, what’s the best way to go about it?” No thanks, and good luck.

 

[1ke]

“when I sin, what’s the best way to go about it?” No thanks, and good luck.

Yep.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

You seem to only want to turn this into a debate about the morality of using birth control outside of marriage, …

This man is hurting. To all I say that. This man is hurting. Lets show him some compassion in which the Lord has required us to do. Lets not make this a debate. He is feeling fearful of his future, of his child’s future, of the woman he’s going to now marry possibly without love for her in it… Did you hear what I’m saying!!! He is ful of FEAR right now… and troubled over his mistake. He made a bad choice and is suffering… he even said so. Have you never done that? Have you never been at that place before?

Don’t be disillusioned by the ‘debate’ about condoms… he is hurting and is scared and lashing out at anything to calm the suffering- looking for something to hold onto. You don’t have to beat him up over it. Is this what God wants us to do? No, God would want us to help him and show him the way back to The Lord… as sin separates. And no one wants to ultimately be separated from The Lord. GOD doens’t even want him separated from Him, since He gave up His only beloved Son for him.

Again, OP I am sorry you are hurting.

 

[Dorothy]

Prayer and the sacraments is what helps people to become chaste, and stay chaste.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

… Are you guys going to tell these young folks like myself to avoid the condoms at all cost? Where does your loyalty fall? :yukonjoe: Are you going to tell them to use birth control contrary to whats written in all our catechisms? Or are you going to tell them to pull a polluted. At the very least keep the sexual act unprotected and open to the gift of life?

I would say its still wrong to use condom because it separates the act from what it is for. People get used to the idea that they are “protected” and are surprised when baby shows up. I know several people that I grew up with, who were having premarital sex and were using both condoms AND birth control and STILL got knocked up. You see, its still a lie that people will fall for. Its not true that ‘protection’ will protect you… There is more at stake than just stds, unplanned pregnancy when people choose to fornicate. Emotions get involved too… and yes, sometimes they get involved without sex too! And I wouldn’t even blame anyone for attraction… it just happens sometimes and the pull can be very difficult to overcome. This is why the saints said to run away from sin. Christians are not super human. The only ‘power’ we have comes from Christ working through us.

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

Negotiate a cheapish wedding and rather soon. This is the biggest issue by far.

After that make a room the hobby room with “his” side and “her” side, you can make your models while she does her embroidery, or whatever, together, but not intense.

 

[skippykerrie]

I believe he is a troll. Best not bother with him.

I thought the same.

 

[Crusaderbear]

I think your posts show a lack of maturity. “Knocked up” is not a term I would think someone who has a grasp on the spiritual would use. In previous posts you articulately backed Catholic teaching on sexuality and then in some you are completely emotional and odd.
On December. 14 in two posts you claim to be married and engage in intimacy while asleep.
So my judgement if you cannot go into the realm of judging your soul, I can judge what you post. And I am not impressed.

Point to HD.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

No the purpose here appears to be a game of gotcha with your fellow Catholics. Trying to prove us all hypocrites will not justify yourself.

Check the other quote of yours I pasted in earlier. You said “a wife” and “mine”.

Furthermore, spouse is a term reserved for those who are actually married.

This!

OP, what are you trying to prove?

What are you looking for from the people here? That premarital sex is okay? I doubt you will receive an affirmative answer to that.

Being open to life is WITHIN marriage, not outside of it.

It seems that you want to play a victim here and you want others here to persecute you on the board.

The bottom line is that you have to live with yourself and the consequences of your actions. Now that your girlfriend is pregnant, you need to prepare for the new life that you have created.

“Knocked up?” That’s how you word a new life that you helped create? Doesn’t sound very mature to me. By you sayingvtgat, you don’t make yourself someone who sounds like they are ready to have more children

 

[Convert_in_99]

First and foremost: What you did was a serious sin. Since you knew it was a serious sin it is likely a mortal sin and you need to get to confession and go forth and don’t sin again.

Second: You are right that you need to financially support not only this child, but the other one you created in a previous sexual sin.

Third: I’m not certain either of you are ready for marriage. You obviously didn’t marry the other girl you got pregnant, why this one. You both seem waaaay too immature to be making a permanent sacramental commitment to marriage.

So confession.
Sin NO more.
Take care of your two living children.
Mature and talk and see (CHASTLY) if you are really ready to make a permanent commitment to this woman.

 

[Convert_in_99]

Negotiate a cheapish wedding and rather soon. This is the biggest issue by far.

After that make a room the hobby room with “his” side and “her” side, you can make your models while she does her embroidery, or whatever, together, but not intense.

:ehh:

I don’t think this fairytale is gonna work out here. Hobby rooms? Really? You must have the big bucks. I don’t think we have big bucks here. Not to mention this is not the modern way of life for most Catholics, even practicing married Catholics.

 

[PhiloMed]

Am I the only one who thinks the title of this post alone shows a big lack of maturity on the part of the OP?

This is beyond Church teaching on sin. That’s done. You need to grow up a bit.

Praying for a healthy child.

 

[jaimeleglise]

First and foremost: What you did was a serious sin. Since you knew it was a serious sin it is likely a mortal sin and you need to get to confession and go forth and don’t sin again.

Second: You are right that you need to financially support not only this child, but the other one you created in a previous sexual sin.

Third: I’m not certain either of you are ready for marriage. You obviously didn’t marry the other girl you got pregnant, why this one. You both seem waaaay too immature to be making a permanent sacramental commitment to marriage.

So confession.
Sin NO more.
Take care of your two living children.
Mature and talk and see (CHASTLY) if you are really ready to make a permanent commitment to this woman./QUOTE

Yes, Yes, Yes. Confession will give you the peace you are seeking and the resolve to sin no more. Make sure you really love this lady before you marry her or you will have more heartbreak.
None of us are perfect. We are not here to judge you. Peace

 

[Convert_in_99]

So thats how my fellow Catholics view this? Saying condoms should be used or anyone engaging in premarital sex has serious mental illness? Might want to check your catechism and your Bibles. Plenty of Gods right hand men screwed up in such a way…and the Church under NO circumstances says birth control is ok.

And as for my previous post I did not say “my wife”. I believe it was worded a tad differently.

Fornication is a mortal sin.
Using contraception is a mortal sin.
Non-contraceptive fornication is still a mortal sin.

The only thing different is you would confess only fornication and not the use of contraception also.

But both are mortal sins. You didn’t commit a “lesser sin.” The only difference is that you would only state that you committed the mortal sin of fornication, without the additional mortal sin of contraception.

 

[Convert_in_99]

I’m surprised no one has mentioned the FIRST child he created out of wedlock.

Where is THAT child today? How is he/she doing? How is the Fathering experience going for the OP?

Just saying…

 

[EveningSkye111]

I haven’t had enough time to read all the responses, I’m very busy right now. I’ll read more later on when stuff slows down.

But I do want to say that your coarse title has really shocked me? How old are you? Maybe 18? It sounds like a preview to a stupid TV show like Maury, or one of those. A precious life and you are saying “Knocked up another girl.” So it’s happened more than once, obviously, but I think you could’ve said, or phrased your title quite a bit differently.

Really.

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

:ehh:

I don’t think this fairytale is gonna work out here. Hobby rooms? Really? You must have the big bucks. I don’t think we have big bucks here. Not to mention this is not the modern way of life for most Catholics, even practicing married Catholics.

As well as support the other child and its mother as well, as Jaime says. Contraception issues however important in themselves mustn’t be made a smokescreen.

Inexpensive hobbies are good for people of all religions and no religion, if they are considered out of fashion that is up to each person.

 

[Polluted]

What is with everyone and the english language hang ups. I choose the wording I used for a reason. There is no white washing this senario. This is the second time I have created a child out of wedlock. Lets call a spade a spade shall we and get over the issue of language here.

My first child is doing great. I visit…pay child support…support his mother who is a horrofic mind game in and of herself. I love my son and nothing compares to the pain of losing the family I tried to create. I tried to marry the first girl. She didnt want to. Another great princess syndrome hangup that prevented the wedding…wanting all the bells and whistles. I look after my first born and honor his mom.

Now here I am in the same senario. Lord knows im not happy. I want (or wanted) to marry this girl but alas another princess syndrome. Wanting our wedding to be about bull crud and a giant party. I have had a deacon and priest who know of my poverty say they would marry us for nothing. It kills me to know I cant have the sacramental bond I crave and that my very union takes a back seat to secular desires. It has broken my heart with reguards to this current girl.

At the end of the day thou…i have always trusted in God. I stayed loyal when the call came with reguards to contraception. Despite how heavy of a cross it is. The saints are smiling upon me CAF…can you say the same?

 

[pianistclare]

Am I the only one who thinks the title of this post alone shows a big lack of maturity on the part of the OP?

This is beyond Church teaching on sin. That’s done. You need to grow up a bit.

Praying for a healthy child.

Oh this is nothing.
Check out his posting history.
It’s a game.

 

[Kelfa28]

At the end of the day thou…i have always trusted in God. I stayed loyal when the call came with reguards to contraception. Despite how heavy of a cross it is. The saints are smiling upon me CAF…can you say the same?

Ummmm…you blatantly ignored the simple fact that one must stay chaste before marriage.

You failed in this arena once before…forget any argument about contraception…why would you go back and do it again?

This is ridiculously immature.

Are you going to leave this new woman and find another to “knock up?”