Knocked up another girl

[EasterJoy]

I have to be honest here guys I feel like a fool on some level. But despite these grave slip ups, I have been OPEN to life. Tell me im not crazy. Tell me you are all the same. Tell me all of you think birth control is a demonic art form and that your desire to cling to Church teaching is just as strong.

Tell me you guys inform your kids that birth control shouldnt be used, and that even thou they are teenagers, if they slip they should NOT use birth control.

I want to hear you all say it. CAF is filled with some of the most righteous Catholics around. Tell me im not crazy and that birth control is NEVER the answer.

As I said, you are most in need of heart-to-heart conversations with your pastor. Drawing us into a debate that is a akin to arguing about whether it is better to commit bank robbery with or without a firearm really is NOT what you need right now.

You have some responsibilities to be seen to, very important ones, and you will need help in charting the best path forward for everyone involved. Keep your nose in the business at hand.

 

[angelic06]

Rate my righteousness by CAF standards on a scale from 1-10
…

Is there a “Correct” way to sin by Catholic standards? Maybe not a correct way but a way of sinning that doesn’t add insult to injury.

Do you all judge me? Or do you all look at me with with an amazement at my openness?

Do you have a spiritual director? Someone to help straighten you out?

 

[BlueEyedLady]

I can’t speak to your “righteousness”, but your judgement is definitely lacking.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

Tend to your obligations and worry less about what others may think. In the end, you will be judged by God and not any of us. If you are worried about ofeending/disappointing Hod, then you should tailor your actions accordingly.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

Tend to your obligations and worry less about what others may think. In the end, you will be judged by God and not any of us. If you are worried about ofeending/disappointing Hod, then you should tailor your actions accordingly.

That was supposed to be offending not “ofeending” and God not “Hod.” I was on my phone when I typed that.

 

[mommy_k]

For your rightous scle rating—

Premarital relations is wrong-it’s a sin–but you confessed this so ok.–
You chose not to contracept–very good.
Your girlfriend is with child-every baby is a blessing.

On a scale of one to ten–the above is a 9–I could not give you a ten because you did fall into sin-in the first place-so I deducted a point.

Second part of the scale rating:

You need to step it up job wise to support your new child.
If you work an additional job, or get a better paying one–add 1 point for every extra 10,000. You make.

If you don’t pursue avenues of addional income- that’s a zero.

Now multiply the 9 from above to the bottom number and divide by 2 and that’s your rightous scale number that I would give u.

 

[Xantippe]

Remember the Church’s teaching about contraception is always within the context of marriage. **That doesn’t mean that it’s ok to use contraception outside of marriage but the “why” of the wrongness of contraception is because it is an offense against marriage. ** Pre-marital sex is also an offense against marriage. It is not “good” to have premarital sex and forgo contraception. It doesn’t somehow mitigate the graveness of the act. It is not “good” to have premarital sex. Full stop.

“Openness to life” is also something that is expected of** married couples.** No one is going to say that having pre-marital sex without contraception is being open to life.

Yes.

 

[Xantippe]

I will say a prayer for you and your child, but am not going to be goaded into a debate about the “best” way to lead a life when you choose to sin. We have all made mistakes in life, but that isn’t a prudential debate to have. It starts the discussion off on the completely wrong foot - “when I sin, what’s the best way to go about it?” No thanks, and good luck.

Right.

 

[Xantippe]

:ehh:

I don’t think this fairytale is gonna work out here. Hobby rooms? Really? You must have the big bucks. I don’t think we have big bucks here. Not to mention this is not the modern way of life for most Catholics, even practicing married Catholics.

It might be a nice arrangement for a more middle class couple, especially an older couple with grown children, but it does sound like the OP will be doing very well to put a roof of any kind over his family’s head.

For families with children at home (even fairly well-off families), a “hobby room” or “guest room” sounds semi-mythological.

 

[Polluted]

You folks do realize that contraception in ANY senario is wrong. Right? This is what is taught by our Church. Maybe some of you folks need to study a bit more. Just because someone has sex outside marriage doesnt give them a green light to use contraception.

The first thing my priest said to me when i confessed this sin is “you didnt use birth control did you?”

Maybe you folks should realize the contraceptive method you teach your kids isnt following Catholic teaching. NO CONTRACEPTIVES. This is our faith. We should be proud to profess it.

I have stood true to my faith even in the face if sin. Are you all doing the same? Or are you preaching or even practicing a lifestyle that feeds the same grave evil of abortion?

 

[pianistclare]

You folks do realize that contraception in ANY senario is wrong. Right? This is what is taught by our Church. Maybe some of you folks need to study a bit more. Just because someone has sex outside marriage doesnt give them a green light to use contraception.

The first thing my priest said to me when i confessed this sin is “you didnt use birth control did you?”

Maybe you folks should realize the contraceptive method you teach your kids isnt following Catholic teaching. NO CONTRACEPTIVES. This is our faith. We should be proud to profess it.

I have stood true to my faith even in the face if sin. Are you all doing the same? Or are you preaching or even practicing a lifestyle that feeds the same grave evil of abortion?

You really need to read accurately.
No one, not one person advocated birth control on this ridiculous thread. There are many that are trying to advise you, but you keep stirring the pot just for fun.
I for one, find it nearly impossible to take you seriously.
You have not stood true to your faith. You have gotten 2 women pregnant without the benefit of at LEAST a commitment. A commitment that you would abandon because they wanted a big wedding. Yeah, like that’s a good reason to dump someone.
If you are so concerned about what the church teaches, and sin, why can’t you control yourself? You talk out of both sides of your mouth.
And your confessor asked about birth control. Riiiiiiiiiight.

Y’all keep feeding him.
I’m out.

 

[Xantippe]

You folks do realize that contraception in ANY senario is wrong. Right? This is what is taught by our Church. Maybe some of you folks need to study a bit more. Just because someone has sex outside marriage doesnt give them a green light to use contraception.

The first thing my priest said to me when i confessed this sin is “you didnt use birth control did you?”

Maybe you folks should realize the contraceptive method you teach your kids isnt following Catholic teaching. NO CONTRACEPTIVES. This is our faith. We should be proud to profess it.

I have stood true to my faith even in the face if sin. Are you all doing the same? Or are you preaching or even practicing a lifestyle that feeds the same grave evil of abortion?

Do you have a Catechism cite or a papal encyclical you could share with us in support of your view that not using contraception is an ameliorating factor for fornication that makes fornication less sinful?

Because I don’t think you’re going to find one.

It’s not Church teaching if the Church doesn’t teach it.

 

[heidi_storage]

James 2:10: “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all. 11 For He who said, “DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY,” also said, “DO NOT COMMIT MURDER.” Now if you do not commit adultery, but do commit murder, you have become a transgressor of the law…”

By the way, the contempt with which you speak of both the women you had sex with is not good. They may be silly for wanting expensive weddings. No doubt they have other faults as well. You showed really, really poor judgment in consorting with women whom you do not respect, even aside from the lapse in chastity.

Relationships, and especially the bond of marriage, don’t exist in the abstract. They are always, by definition, between particular people. “It kills me to know I cant have the sacramental bond I crave” is a rather idiotic whine; first you identify a woman with whom you can create said bond, and then you pursue appropriate actions to form this bond. (Ie: After a period of dating and engagement, during which you carefully “vet” your potential spouse, you marry her.)

Grow up.

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

You folks do realize that contraception in ANY senario is wrong. Right? This is what is taught by our Church. Maybe some of you folks need to study a bit more. Just because someone has sex outside marriage doesnt give them a green light to use contraception.

The first thing my priest said to me when i confessed this sin is “you didnt use birth control did you?”

Maybe you folks should realize the contraceptive method you teach your kids isnt following Catholic teaching. NO CONTRACEPTIVES. This is our faith. We should be proud to profess it.

I have stood true to my faith even in the face if sin. Are you all doing the same? Or are you preaching or even practicing a lifestyle that feeds the same grave evil of abortion?

Luke 18:9-14New International Version (NIV)

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector
9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Would it not be better to be humble about the fact that you committed one less mortal sin that to come on here and start talking about how you did such a good deed by not using contraception and talk about how the saints are smiling on you and implying that they are not smiling on those who have been replying to your comments here in ways that you do not like?

You sound like this… “I know I messed up but at least I did not mess up as bad as I could of. I did good. Better than a lot of others would do. I am a better catholic than so many others despite my failure because they do not understand what I understand about contraception. I am so righteous… those other people are not. I did good… can those other people say the same? I do not think so… I am so righteous while they are not…”

That is how you sound, brother. I do not care to judge now righteous you are. I have my own righteousness to worry about. You do sound very immature in this thread though. I say that not as a insult but as a “Heads up” because that can be changed by you. I get immature myself and it can be a good thing when others let us know that even if it stings a little. I hope you get that better job so you can better support your family.Yes, it is a good thing you committed one less mortal sin than you could have. Be humble about it and drop it. God bless.

P.S. I know you live in Cali and you are engaged to a Mexican woman and she is a real princess and wants a big fancy wedding. I was just wondering if perhaps you are engaged to my now ex girlfriend because that describes her exactly

 

[EasterJoy]

You folks do realize that contraception in ANY senario is wrong. Right? This is what is taught by our Church. Maybe some of you folks need to study a bit more. Just because someone has sex outside marriage doesnt give them a green light to use contraception.

The first thing my priest said to me when i confessed this sin is “you didnt use birth control did you?”

Maybe you folks should realize the contraceptive method you teach your kids isnt following Catholic teaching. NO CONTRACEPTIVES. This is our faith. We should be proud to profess it.

I have stood true to my faith even in the face if sin. Are you all doing the same? Or are you preaching or even practicing a lifestyle that feeds the same grave evil of abortion?

Again: This is like trying to get us to congratulate you that you robbed a bank without threatening anyone with a weapon. You have nothing to be proud of. We are not your judge or your jury, so don’t make your case to us. We’re only going to tell you to throw yourself on the mercy of the True Court, and leave us out of it.

Now: You’re going to be a father. Quit wallowing around in the circumstances and go learn what you need to know in order to decide the best way to do it.

 

[Lou2U]

Again: This is like trying to get us to congratulate you that you robbed a bank without threatening anyone with a weapon. You have nothing to be proud of. We are not your judge or your jury, so don’t make your case to us. We’re only going to tell you to throw yourself on the mercy of the True Court, and leave us out of it.

Now: You’re going to be a father. Quit wallowing around in the circumstances and go learn what you need to know in order to decide the best way to do it.

I haven’t seen anyone on this thread advocating the use of contraceptives.

Again, focus on the relationship with your fiancee and your son. If your job is unstable, try applying for other jobs. You need to make everything as good as you can for when your new baby arrives.

Focus on your faith, and listen to everyone here.

Lou

 

[Norseman82]

Ummmm…you blatantly ignored the simple fact that one must stay chaste before marriage.

You failed in this arena once before…forget any argument about contraception…why would you go back and do it again?

This is ridiculously immature.

Are you going to leave this new woman and find another to “knock up?”

This.

 

[casslean]

I have stood true to my faith even in the face if sin. Are you all doing the same? Or are you preaching or even practicing a lifestyle that feeds the same grave evil of abortion?

To be fair, you’ve stood “true” to the part of your faith that didn’t deny you any immediate pleasure - that is, you were happy to forego contraception, but not pre-marital sex. In fact, for someone who was so quick to say he’d been to confession, I don’t see much contrition for the latter, only an attempt to justify and negate your actions.

I think you need to climb down off your high horse a little bit and take good long look in the mirror. Engaging in pre-marital sex was wrong. It didn’t make it less wrong because you didn’t use contraception. It just means you avoided one sin while engaging in another.

 

[Norseman82]

You folks do realize that contraception in ANY senario is wrong. Right? This is what is taught by our Church. Maybe some of you folks need to study a bit more. Just because someone has sex outside marriage doesnt give them a green light to use contraception.

The first thing my priest said to me when i confessed this sin is “you didnt use birth control did you?”

Maybe you folks should realize the contraceptive method you teach your kids isnt following Catholic teaching. NO CONTRACEPTIVES. This is our faith. We should be proud to profess it.

I have stood true to my faith even in the face if sin. Are you all doing the same? Or are you preaching or even practicing a lifestyle that feeds the same grave evil of abortion?

Having sex outside of marriage is also wrong and not following Catholic teaching. THAT is the root of your problem, as well as the biggest lifestyle contributor that feeds the grave evil of abortion. If you really stood true to your faith, you would not be having premarital sex.

 

[Norseman82]

Oh, one other thing.

For any lurkers out there who are reading this thread who may be thinking that condom usage is a “magic protective cloak”, here is a transcript from an early SNL “Weekend Update” segment. Read the part where Chico Escuela comments on his paternity suit and the Darrell Dawkins backboard shattering incident (back when contraception was still a “taboo” subject in public):

snltranscripts.jt.org/79/79fupdate.phtml