Lack of modest, fashionable clothes

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“Little House on the Prairie” style of dressing is not outdated, in my opinion. I wear that instead of modern fashion. No matter where I look in normal stores, the modern fashion is not about modesty and the styles are just… icky and un-ladylike.

Its kinda funny they think I’m Mormon or Amish, at least, until they see I’m wearing a Crucifix necklace. You’d think it’d be obvious I’m a Catholic. In the past, Catholics wore headcovering. The most easy-to-manage one for me that doesn’t slip off my head is the bonnet. So that works for me. For adoration, knitted chapel veils work better than lace ones.

I do like what Sr. Mary Martha posted, though its a shame she thinks prairie-like modesty is outdated.
 
Hi all,

It sounds to me that at least a few of you are in your 20’s or 30’s, but believe me, when you get older (I’m 50 something), it really gets harder. There are just certain things one wants including comfort and being able to hide a little flab (flab just tends to happen). 😉

I find it very difficult to find t’s which have long enough (short) sleeves. I finally did, at a specialty women’s shop, Chico’s (like J Jill). chicos.com/store/home.jsp
I waited until they went on sale and got 3. The clothing came in sizes 0, 1, 2 and 3. Must be some kind of international trend in sizing. Anyway, I chose 2, so the top wasn’t too form fitting. They are a squarish boat-neck and don’t scoop too low, but when bending over (even slightly) I noticed there is a lot of gap. I wish I had some kind of colorful insert to sort glue in to bring that neckline up just a teeny bit, then it’d be perfect.

In the summer, I like to wear tank tops, and found some modest ones locally, but they are still quite warm in the summer, even with the AC on. For church I like to wear a gauzy shirt over it. It’s feminine, flowing, and covered, but still summery. Add a nice necklace and a pr of earrings, and it’s dressier still.

I’d like to wear skirts sometimes, but can’t seem to find any that look good on me; I am pretty picky. Need to whittle the waistline, too (back to Pilates class).

I also wish someone would invent an easy way to add an insert to modify the v-necks which are too low! I like some of them, but would not ever wear them as is, and adding a cami just adds a layer that I don’t need when the weather is warm. I don’t sew.

There is a water-soluable fabric-to-skin glue one can buy to help stick a gapping neckline right to the skin, or to secure a loose strap. I got mine at a pharmacy, but you might be able to find it at a wedding apparel shop. It rolls on like roll-on deoderant.

Gott run. Thanks for bringing up this important topic. I see too many low necklines at church these days!

Mimi
 
I think you’ve already mentioned the heart of the problem in your original post – if you want to be trendy and fashionable, it involves showing the world significant portions of your breasts, and so on.

That is, the fashion industry is encouraging women to make themselves into sex objects, by showing the world half your breasts and all of your legs – which you must shave, because let’s face it, “you should look like a Barbie doll, not a human being.” (Humans have leg hair.)

So you have a choice to make. Do you allow this corrupt fashion industry to dictate what is appealing – use cosmetics as if your face isn’t good enough, shave your body as if your body isn’t good enough, expose your body as if your being wasn’t good enough …? Or do you want to live something better than that?

As a man, I face the same battle: men are called by our culture to all kinds of perverse mentalities and behaviors, when the Bible reveals quite a different version of manliness, one filled with love, gentleness, servitude, self-sacrifice.

Being Christian is usually being countercultural; that’s where we get this idea of “Being in this world and not of it,” and Paul’s speech in the New Testament of “worldy desires of the flesh.” In addition to chastity, as Christians we must fight abortion, social injustice, poverty – all of these things are rampant in society, and fighting them is countercultural.

Modest clothing for women is out there; I see women every day wearing it. It’s a little harder to find, but it’s out there. I face the same struggle: I want clothing that is not wrinkled, torn, plain and ugly. I find my struggle to find clothing to be harder than yours, although the struggle to wear it may be harder for you – since the fashion industry pushes you to be a Barbie doll, you have an enormous variety of clothing; roughly seventy percent of every clothing store is for women. As a man, I am marginalized by the fashion industry (since they don’t want me to accessorize and be a Barbie doll) and it is very difficult to find colorful, expressive clothing. Men are pushed with cookie-cutter fashion: we have about five different shirts, three different pants, and that’s it. (Pick an online store and you’ll find 100+ pants for women, ~ 20 pants for men.) It’s extremely difficult to be expressive.

I hope this post helps. I applaud your efforts to be chaste; the struggle for sexual purity in our culture must be fought from both sides on multiple fronts.
 
I’ve found that the summer just gone by had some of the better modest clothes. Lots of floor length ‘gypsy skirts’ that were full bodied and vest tops or pretty silky ones were available with quite high necks or a piece of fabric behind a low v-neck.

I’ve always loved the skirts and such so I’m biased but I think that they qualify as modest while being feminine. Also, if they can work for Spain’s climate this year, I think they’ll work most places. 😃

Also, my mum and my younger sister wear them as well so they’re good for all ages. London has some gorgeous ones every year but (obviously) they’re a litle expensive sometimes! 😦
 
Mimi said:
I also wish someone would invent an easy way to add an insert to modify the v-necks which are too low!
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Have you tried fabric glue and an inverted triangle of fabric in a similar type of fabric as the shirt you are trying to modify?
 
i am under 20 and have been (or am trying to be) modest for like, the past 3years - i have not worn trousers (which will start another debate in itself), sleeves above my elbows, low necklines (by that i mean not below an inch or so below the pit of my neck).
(note: i say only skirts but, a skirt in itself is not modest since we all know of mini’s, slits etc. but mine are always below the knee, nearly all being quite a way below the knee)

in the beginning, it wasnt so hard, since coming out of wearing tight jeans and vest tops etc i started to dress a bit more modest every couple of months until it has now reached the stage where i have gone all the way.
it got to a stage where my family saw it a problem because they agreed with me trying to dress modestly but said i was starting to look old in the process, and this caused many problems, well for me.
the reason why i looked old, was because, while i was becoming aware of how i dressed, i started to not care how i looked, and decided to give up my ‘fashion sense’ (it has not and will never go but i decided to separate myself from this for a few reasons)
now, you dont have to do this, it is possible to remian fashionalble and stil be modest at the same time, although…
i will say, your style will automatically change and you have to be willing to allow this for modesty, for purity, for love.
you can image me, wearing an extremely short skirt and a tight top to wearing long sleeves and skirts - a radical change but i now have modified my personal style.
as Dove said, layering helps… a lot!!! i have skimpy vest tops which i wouldnt even dare to wear around my house when people are in let alone on the street, yet i wear them underneath v-neck tops which i know, 100% that i will not take off if its hot, thus revealing the skimpy top.
i dont know where you are but it hasnt been very hot in england in the last few years but even still, i tend to wear thin cotton tops, and thin layers, e.g. tshirts and cardigans and when it gets really hot ill push up the sleeves. i just think to myself of all those in the really hot places but still cover up, how do they do it? if they can so can i? i often think of the sisters who continue to wear their habbit.

the best thing i can say is pray!!!
i remember watching the Pure Life on EWTN and Crystalina evert saying when she goes shopping she prays to our lady to help her find something.
i have a quick testimony (yes i realize this message is dragging on, sorry 😊 ) but i have always wanted a leather skirt of a good length and fit that i can wear when going out.
doing new years eve shopping the other day and low and behold, what do i find in the vintage section of london’s topshop, a leather skirt just as i had imagined, less than 1/2 price!!! Look to our holy Mother, not just for help but for modesty - check this out, this is what finally pushed me to dressing modestly drbo.org/modesty.htm

to finish off, i do believe letting go of my vanity (which, at the time i didnt realise i had) was much to do with me embracing modesty which goes hand in hand with purity - “blessesd are the pure in heart for they shall see God” ((not to agree with the 1st comment though))
i am happy and can never look back at how i used to dress, but i need to keep on praying, fasting, receiving our Lord in the Eucharist and going to Confession, to give me the strength to continue this battle since it is a really deep battle; i seem to think i get it worst since i am in that age group and am being so counter cultural, but as the lady before said, even the older generation suffers.

Ave Maria
 
oh, modest dressing!

I am a SAHM too and don’t have much time to add my own response-- probably a good thing! But once you start going against the stream of fashion, you will start learning a lot about yourself!

For instance, vanity isn’t the only problem. I found that I dressed in tight clothing more to fit in than to stand out! Dressing modestly may end up making you stand out far more than skimpy spandex. I have had the hardest time with the looks I get from people-- pity for me, resentment of my husband (who seems to get the blame). I am on hiatus from long dresses and skirts, wearing looser jeans with no stretch. But the gentle prodding is still there, patiently waiting for me to step out in faith and love again. Once you get that feeling, of wearing something that is beautiful to Christ instead of the world, you’ll never forget it.

I pray that you’ll be able to keep your eyes on Jesus, more than on the people around you!
 
ericka1701 said:
I’ve had a nudge of conscious lately regarding the way I dress. It’s winter right now, so I am very covered 😉 but the past few summers, it seems that I’ve been wearing fewer and fewer clothes each year. I know that in scriptures it also advises women to wear modest attire, and I am wanting very much to do that, but the problem is when I try to look at companies that makes modest clothing specifically… let’s put it this way, I’m much too vain to be able to wear that type of clothing (at least at this point). I am really looking for shirts that don’t come down more than a few inches below my collar bone, that completely covers my midriff… and for skirts and shorts that comes down to at least my knees. In most of the retail stores here, I usually confuse the clothing with swim wear (and it covers about the same).

I would really appreciate any help with this. I have a few months before summer starts, but I would like to go ahead and buy some clothes so I can go ahead and clean out my closet and give the other stuff to Goodwill.

God Bless!
Ericka
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Hopefully you all can bear with the opinion of a man in this thread. I do however, have 5 daughters in addition to my wife. Those of us in the great state of Maine shop at L.L. Bean for clothes. They are known as outdoor outfitters but they do have a large clothing line and you won’t find hip huggers or anything like that. Their clothing is pretty durable and if you’re not satisfied, LL Bean has a 100% guarantee, even without a receipt. The girls and women in my area of Maine dress very practically and don’t reveal much because it’s so cold most of the year!
 
As a general rule a skirt should not show any thigh when sitting down, and also not be a problem when standing on top of a staircase for anyone coming up behind.

Any shirt should not be tight at all in the chest. Moreover, if you look at images of Mary, she always wears a mantle to further cover herself, besides a very loose and un-form emphasizing full length dress. This is the ideal and what really should be done, rather than shorter skirts.

One should always be safely far past the borderline – when you’re at the borderline, you -will- go over.

The goal is purity, the virtue of that beautiful attribute before God and man. It replaces the ‘beauty’ of emphasizing the body or even simply calling attention to oneself through dress.

I would never want a daughter of mine to have ever tempted a single person to desire her body through her dress. Period. Ever.

God your Father is the same way. It deeply matters.

Purity is beautiful. Attracting lust and attention – we don’t want to go there. God will call attention to the modest in Heaven and say to the angels, ‘There is the sparkling hidden delight of my eye.’ and there she will be loved.
 
I think your problem is that you’re shopping at the wrong stores.Some stores do sell more provocative clothing than others.A personal fav for me is H&M.You can get great,fashionable clothing at affordable prices.I seldomly see anything inappropriate in that store.Remember you can look pretty without showing too much skin.
Another thing to remember is there are different ways to wear your clothes.If you buy a tube top or tank top trying wearing it with a blazer or shrug.Instead of shorts go for capris and gauchos.If you find it that your shirt is too low cut try layering it.Stay away from miniskirts and switch to pencil skirts.They’re right above the knee.You don’t have to change your entire wardrobe just dress sensibly.
~I’m not a fashion expert or anything but I love fashion and I have always believed you can look great without looking trashy.
 
I was also going to mention Lands’ End, and L.L. Bean. I have a long print rayon skirt that I get tons of compliments on, from Orvis. The added advantage is, these things don’t go out of style! Come to think of it, I remember reading years ago that fashion is what the designers tell you you should wear, while style is what you develop for yourself.
 
For summer, things like at this website (Molly clothing) are good, since you can get more coverage under shirts without adding a whole new layer.
Modesty is a tricky thing. I shop mostly at thrift stores, partly because I’m poor, and partly because I can find better clothes. I also can’t imagine spending that much money on a (non-career) wardrobe when money can be used for other things. I’d like to get more camisoles and the like so that I don’t have to get rid of some of my shirts that I’ve realized are too short at the bottom, and show a little of my back when I sit down.
I like looking at Jewish and Islamic clothing sites, and pretty much all of the sites at www.modestclothes.com have something to offer, even if it’s only inspiration for “non-frumpy” possibilities for outfits.
Do look around. I’ve found some great things at Forever 21, and they have the best priced camisoles out there. JC Penney also has some good things, and websites like MetroStyle and Spiegel have options too.
I wear pants, but sometimes I think about going skirts only. I’m usually dissuaded by the onset of winter. 😃 I NEVER wear shorts anymore (except for exercise purposes), and I don’t think anyone else should either, both for modesty reasons and also I’ve never met anyone who looked good in them.
I don’t think pants are inherently immodest, and I wouldn’t ever advocate the “prairie” look. I guess it’s fine if it’s what you want to wear, but I don’t think stylish=vain, or pretty=immodest. Femininity is a God-given thing, and we should strive to “accentuate the positive”.
 
Marie_Duffy said:
I was also going to mention Lands’ End, and L.L. Bean. I have a long print rayon skirt that I get tons of compliments on, from Orvis. The added advantage is, these things don’t go out of style! Come to think of it, I remember reading years ago that fashion is what the designers tell you you should wear, while style is what you develop for yourself.

😃 I like that!!! 😃
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😃
 
ellammcg said:
Have you tried fabric glue and an inverted triangle of fabric in a similar type of fabric as the shirt you are trying to modify?
Click to expand...
Not yet, but willing to experiment. Guess I should get on that so I have some stuff ready to go when the heat hits.

I would like to have inserts that would be changeable; different colors to match the rest of the outfit. Black goes with a lot, so does white. I suppose one could get some cheap t shirts (2nd hand store) and cut them up so there is a finished edge showing.

Maybe even something which attaches to bra straps? I would think an inventive seamstress could come up with an easy solution. She (or he) could make some $$$ I would think.

I love the thrift stores, too.

Mimi
 
Mimi said:
Not yet, but willing to experiment. Guess I should get on that so I have some stuff ready to go when the heat hits.

I would like to have inserts that would be changeable; different colors to match the rest of the outfit. Black goes with a lot, so does white. I suppose one could get some cheap t shirts (2nd hand store) and cut them up so there is a finished edge showing.

Maybe even something which attaches to bra straps? I would think an inventive seamstress could come up with an easy solution. She (or he) could make some $$$ I would think.

I love the thrift stores, too.

Mimi
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Would these work?
 
ericka1701 said:
I feel that is an unfair statement. Also, why can’t there be a middle line? Why can’t there be pretty clothing that still covers and is modest? I am a witness, first of Christ, but also of the Catholic Church. How many people would want to even consider Catholicism if they thought they had to dress in styles that are, to put it nicely, out of date. I first am called to do the Lord’s work, but I am also called to not be a stumbling block to my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Either extreme can be a sumbling block.

God Bless!
Ericka
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Being modest is never a stumbling block, it is a Virtue. In 1917 Our Lady at Fatima said, “Fashions will be introduced that will offend my SON greatly.” Offending Christ is the stumbling block.
 
Ericka and “Yola Dawn”, you two gals are wonderful. I just wanted to say that publically. I greatly respect your desires to dress modestly. I’m nothing special; just a middle aged man struggling towards holiness. Avuncular hugs and forehead smooches to you both 🙂
 
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