Lapsed Catholics Explain Why They Leave the Church

[Cinette]

I’ve also heard people say that as children going to Catholic schools, the nuns and priests who taught them acted like “drill sergeants.” Also the old saw about “Why do we have to confess our sins to a priest when we can go straight to God?” Or I can worship God out in the woods or by a stream while fishing or on the golf course. Or my dad’s favorite. “Church is just a place where people go to show off their nice clothes or new cars, etc.”

*These people have no clue what the Catholic Church is all about - they have not read the bible and do not know what it means to be a Catholic Christian. It is sad but true.

*

 

[GaryTaylor]

Theres a never ending list of “excuse’s” of why one leaves the CC. And at the end of the day thats what they all are…Excuse’s.

I agree Cinette there are many well versed on the Catholic Faith here, there are also many Sisters and Brothers from various orders. I don’t believe incorrect Catholic theology will go far here.

 

[Cinette]

Theres a never ending list of “excuse’s” of why one leaves the CC. And at the end of the day thats what they all are…Excuse’s.

I agree Cinette there are many well versed on the Catholic Faith here, there are also many Sisters and Brothers from various orders. I don’t believe incorrect Catholic theology will go far here.

*Sure Gary, bad theology will be exposed. Don’t forget there are those who come to the forums only to read and follow the discussion - they too learn.

Cinette
Gauteng*

 

[Santi2]

“Catholics who Look for Excuses to Leave the Church.”

According to my formerly lapsed friends, the first brick of excuses was laid on the first occasion when they failed to attend Sunday Mass. The “I don’t have to go to Mass because God is everywhere”, which then led to “I can confess to God directly”. They did not completely drift away from Christianity though as they joined non-Catholic Churches. Funnily enough, as they became members of these faith communities, they still identified themselves as “formerly Catholic” or “when I was Catholic”. That was enough to suspect that they still looked back but, just could not figure how to come home, or perhaps too proud to come home. All water under the bridge now as, excepting one, all have come back to the Church. You know what triggered the trip home? A photo of our First Holy Communion.

 

[Cinette]

According to my formerly lapsed friends, the first brick of excuses was laid on the first occasion when they failed to attend Sunday Mass. The “I don’t have to go to Mass because God is everywhere”, which then led to “I can confess to God directly”. They did not completely drift away from Christianity though as they joined non-Catholic Churches. Funnily enough, as they became members of these faith communities, they still identified themselves as “formerly Catholic” or “when I was Catholic”. That was enough to suspect that they still looked back but, just could not figure how to come home, or perhaps too proud to come home. All water under the bridge now as, excepting one, all have come back to the Church. You know what triggered the trip home? A photo of our First Holy Communion.

*What a beautiful story!

I drifted out of laziness perhaps. I was not angry with anyone. I didn’t feel I needed my religion. Then one day many years later I felt I needed to pray for World peace and that is when I found the Church again. When I learned more about the faith I KNEW that had I known what I now know I would never have left in the first place. Definitely it is ignorance which leads most to leave.*

 

[Santi2]

*What a beautiful story!

I drifted out of laziness perhaps. I was not angry with anyone. I didn’t feel I needed my religion. Then one day many years later I felt I needed to pray for World peace and that is when I found the Church again. When I learned more about the faith I KNEW that had I known what I now know I would never have left in the first place. Definitely it is ignorance which leads most to leave.*

That was it, Cinette. It all started with laziness really. Welcome home!

 

[odile53]

There are a few reverts at my parish, and I’ve talked with them. Without an exception they say it was their memory of the Eucharist being the True Presence of Christ that brought them back. They had tried other liturgically based churches and found that something was missing. They were right, and two of these folks said that they really didn’t care about the controversies that surround the Church in the popular consciousness: Once they recalled what the Eucharist really means, nothing was going to keep them away!

 

[LegoGE1947]

Theres a never ending list of “excuse’s” of why one leaves the CC. And at the end of the day thats what they all are…Excuse’s.

I agree Cinette there are many well versed on the Catholic Faith here, there are also many Sisters and Brothers from various orders. I don’t believe incorrect Catholic theology will go far here.

Here is a song I remember from my Protestant days called “Excuses” by a group called the Kingsmen The Kingsmen - Excuses - YouTube

67,181 viewsDec 07, 2008 · As requested, “Excuses” from the Kingsmen Reunion NQC 1995. A fun song with much truth! … Gospel; The; Kingsmen; …

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtGBIOEf7ro It is Protestant but fun to listen to and carries lots of truth that is applicable to about any church.

 

[Hastrman]

Wow…the article should have been titled, “Catholics who Look for Excuses to Leave the Church.”

This is my thinking—or as I prefer to put it, because they’re weak.

I myself am really bad about Mass attendance (a combination of social anxiety, which isn’t my fault, and mind-boggling laziness, which is—I have actually developed low-level dehydration just because getting a drink was too much trouble), but I don’t hide behind sophistry like “oh, well, God is everywhere”. Communion isn’t, and even if you can’t receive, gathering together with others is specifically commanded by Christ.

 

[Santi2]

mind-boggling laziness, which is—I have actually developed low-level dehydration just because getting a drink was too much trouble),

First time I have heard of laziness as a cause of dehydration.

but I don’t hide behind sophistry like “oh, well, God is everywhere”. Communion isn’t, and even if you can’t receive, gathering together with others is specifically commanded by Christ

“I am sure He will understand” also follows “God is everywhere”. The “understanding” bit I teasingly countered with: “Steal from your mother’s purse and let’s see how far she’d go to understand your thievery”.

 

[Rich_Olszewski]

Theres a never ending list of “excuse’s” of why one leaves the CC. And at the end of the day thats what they all are…Excuse’s.

I disagree strongly. I know a fair number of people who left the Church for intellectual reasons, for agnosticism, for example. It’s easy to act the “superior” Catholic and sniff “well, they had no reasons to leave, only excuses,” and fail to understand that faith is an individual matter, which many wrestle with and sometimes find that they must reject. Also, people sometimes get disgusted with the way the Church operates, what with the “scandals de jour.”

There are excuses for leaving, yes, but there are also reasons for leaving as well.

 

[qui_est_ce]

I myself am really bad about Mass attendance (a combination of social anxiety, which isn’t my fault,

I used to have that problem. I would get panic attacks in church. I was able to overcome that by sitting on the aisle or going to an early mass that’s not crowded.

Luckily I don’t have that problem anymore.

 

[Dawnia]

According to my formerly lapsed friends, the first brick of excuses was laid on the first occasion when they failed to attend Sunday Mass. The “I don’t have to go to Mass because God is everywhere”, which then led to “I can confess to God directly”. They did not completely drift away from Christianity though as they joined non-Catholic Churches. Funnily enough, as they became members of these faith communities, they still identified themselves as “formerly Catholic” or “when I was Catholic”. That was enough to suspect that they still looked back but, just could not figure how to come home, or perhaps too proud to come home. All water under the bridge now as, excepting one, all have come back to the Church. You know what triggered the trip home? A photo of our First Holy Communion.

I have two camps of lapsed friends. On one side there are “The Church Can’t Tell Me What to Do” people and on the other is the “Well Nobody Else Follows the Rules, Why Should I?” group. For some unknown reason they still get defensive about not going to Church, even though no one has ever challenged their decision.

 

[Scott_Lafrance]

I disagree strongly. I know a fair number of people who left the Church for intellectual reasons, for agnosticism, for example. It’s easy to act the “superior” Catholic and sniff “well, they had no reasons to leave, only excuses,” and fail to understand that faith is an individual matter, which many wrestle with and sometimes find that they must reject. Also, people sometimes get disgusted with the way the Church operates, what with the “scandals de jour.”

There are excuses for leaving, yes, but there are also reasons for leaving as well.

I’ve heard it said that an excuse is “the skin of a reason, stuffed with a lie”.

 

[Rich_Olszewski]

I’ve heard it said that an excuse is “the skin of a reason, stuffed with a lie”.

Sounds right.

 

[7_Sorrows]

I disagree strongly. I know a fair number of people who left the Church for intellectual reasons, for agnosticism, for example. It’s easy to act the “superior” Catholic and sniff “well, they had no reasons to leave, only excuses,” and fail to understand that faith is an individual matter, which many wrestle with and sometimes find that they must reject. Also, people sometimes get disgusted with the way the Church operates, what with the “scandals de jour.”

There are excuses for leaving, yes, but there are also reasons for leaving as well.

however, there are lots of reasons for staying too. i agree, faith is an individual matter and we are all on our own spiritual journeys. a lot of people don’t realize that faith is something you have to work at. that is why it is so easy for people to drift away.

 

[Rich_Olszewski]

however, there are lots of reasons for staying too.

Of course.

i agree, faith is an individual matter and we are all on our own spiritual journeys. a lot of people don’t realize that faith is something you have to work at. that is why it is so easy for people to drift away.

I would hope that even those who decide rationally to leave the faith do so after finding that they could not reconcile the faith within themselves even after such work.

In a way, it’s like marriage. To keep it strong, we must work at it, but sometimes, it’s just beyond our saving it, and we have to leave. A weak analogy, but…

 

[7_Sorrows]

Of course.

I would hope that even those who decide rationally to leave the faith do so after finding that they could not reconcile the faith within themselves even after such work.

In a way, it’s like marriage. To keep it strong, we must work at it, but sometimes, it’s just beyond our saving it, and we have to leave. A weak analogy, but…

i agree. it takes commitment and some people just don’t want to make that commitment.

 

[wynnejj]

I was a lapsed Catholic who attended Sunday Mass every week without fail. I stopped receiving Holy Communion for years. I watched just about every Sunday Mass attendee receive Holy Communion, and yet rarely a prayer or sermon on the #1 problem in our nation or the #1 cause - abortion and contraception respectively. 25,000 human lives discarded every week, and nary a prayer. I find it extremely interesting that the changes to the Mass liturgy from “born of the Virgin Mary and became man” to “incarnate of the Virgin Mary and became man”. So that’s my “excuse”.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

I disagree strongly. I know a fair number of people who left the Church for intellectual reasons, for agnosticism, for example. It’s easy to act the “superior” Catholic and sniff “well, they had no reasons to leave, only excuses,” and fail to understand that faith is an individual matter, which many wrestle with and sometimes find that they must reject. Also, people sometimes get disgusted with the way the Church operates, what with the “scandals de jour.”

There are excuses for leaving, yes, but there are also reasons for leaving as well.

I could not agree more. Thank you for writing this.