I only want to respond to Country Singer here.
I can definitely understand the effects of trauma, being one who has suffered trauma myself – both church-related and non-church related. The problem is that staying attached to one’s (ill-deserved) trauma reinforces the trauma, rather than moving beyond it to deserved healing. And who is the source of healing par excellence? Jesus.
God is not responsible for the bad actions of any human being, including human beings wearing Roman collars, including human beings who are lay ministers in churches, including lay people who set themselves up, by implication, as some kind of superior authority figures who should be identified with/as the Church.
No human being should be allowed to separate us from the love of Christ (as St. Paul has said and has been quoted). No human being can succeed in separating us from the love of Christ ***unless we let him or her do so ***-- by our inappropriate association of such people with God himself, with the sacraments themselves, etc. To say that ‘we can’t help but’ associate the two separate realities only means that we are attached to our pain and are not moving forward with the healing which we deserve.
Priests do not “contain” the love of Christ. God’s love is not possessible by human beings, any human beings, regardless of their function.
I can also definitely understand avoiding particular persons and particular locations which remind us of trauma. I have done so myself in my life, and in smaller instances, continue to do so. But God is not limited to a particular person or location. Omnipresent, indestructible, and uncontainable is God. Those are what the words transcendent and infinite convey.
Plenty of authority figures in the Church were responsible for sins of commission, for sins of omission, and very poor judgment in the area of clergy sexual abuse. Because of that, I can fully understand not wanting to associate in a practical way (through financial support, through support of labor – such as participating in church activities, etc.) any particular parish – even if, and after, one is essentially healed of overwhelming trauma. Someone said upthread that the idea of supporting an organization that can’t manage itself (its personnel) properly does not deserve to be associated with. Again, I can understand the idea of refusing to provide material and practical support for human beings; however, the idea that the divine power of grace and healing – available only through the sacraments – should also be abandoned is illogical and compromising to one’s self.
Consider that there are terrible parents (bad as human beings, having done bad acts, etc.) who nevertheless give birth on occasion to wonderful children who are very unlike those parents. I can’t imagine rejecting the gifts and talents of those children because their parents don’t deserve similar recognition and support.
The grace of God, and the gifts and spiritual support of other people who have not committed terrible acts, have integrity of their own that cannot be touched by the evil of others.
Yes, trauma – and the effects of trauma – is/are completely understandable, and operates with a “logic” of its own. But to remain there and claim we “can’t help ourselves” is merely a statement that we are not ready yet to be healed, and will suffer until we are ready to transcend that trauma
which is only possible with God’s grace (combined with possibly any psychological treatment we need/seek). And what is the most significant source of Grace for a Catholic? The sacraments.
Not availing ourselves of the sacraments will delay that healing, not advance it.
Personally, I would never return to a particular location which has caused me trauma, if I am not yet healed, such as a parish with cruel lay ministers or an aloof congregation or a pastor detached from the troubles of others. That would merely reinforce the trauma. I would seek a location with people very different from that, to encourage the healing and finally allow me to experience the reality that the grace of God is not limited by the sins of men.
